Anita Renfroe- Dadsense (Because Momsense made some Dads jealous)
May 12, 2008
You should know by now that I am on a great crusade to get Anita Renfroe to become my BFF. We are well on our way. I have worked with her to make sure that the video posting was okay and that I had the correct lyrics for Momsense.
Well, apparently with the popularity of the Momsense video made a few Dads jealous. (You can see the Momsense video here on Mommy Needs Coffee as well as the lyrics to Momsense here.) So being the amazing woman that Anita is (I can so call her that seeing as my application for BFF is being processed), she did another song in response. This one is for the Dads.
If you really need the lyrics, I can post them. Just let me know.
Go show Anita Renfroe some love. She has most definitely shown it to me by sending people (aka the New York Times and other publications) my way for lyrics etc. And tell her her BFF in waiting sent you. (Yeah, you may have to give a full name, url and application number but really…she’ll totally know me when you mention the whole meeting for coffee date we have planned.)
Note to Anita: I am still waiting for the Kidsense version. I will so promote that one every week!
NOTE: I do realize that there are a ginormous amount of hands on Dads. We love you. We cherish you. We need you. Surely, you know this is meant to be funny, right? Truth be told, my husband rolled his eyes but still laughed. Please, take no offense. Anita Renfroe rocks and is never, ever one to offend. It is all comedy. I’m just sayin’.
When I was about 10 years old, I wanted to give my Mom something homemade for Mother’s Day. I was too old for noodle art and too young for anything that involved going out to get something to create a masterpiece. So, I decided to sit down with a pen and paper and copy down one of her favorite poems. The handwritten words took a bit of a downhill slop as I neared the end of the page. Some words were crammed in to fit onto one line. It was far from perfect but completely from the heart.
I credited the author and then signed my name and the date. I framed it and wrapped it. I remember her eyes brimming with tears when she opened it. I felt such pride that I gave her something she cherished.
She hung up that poem in the vanity area of her bathroom so that it was the first thing she saw every morning. As the years past, the ink began to fade. In fact, after a couple of decades it was hard to make out what exactly the poem said. But she knew. And I knew. That is what mattered.
I knew the poem held special meaning to my Mom. It wasn’t until I became a Mom myself that I fully grasped why her eyes filled with tears that day and how ironic that was.
It was more than a year and a half after her death that my Dad took down that poem. He asked me if he could before he did. Part of me wanted it to stay hanging there forever, but part of me knew it was time to take down it down. (It now hangs in my vanity area– unreadable and in the scrawl of a 10 year old’s hand, but something I “read” daily.)
So, Mom, here for Mother’s Day I will once again post the words to your favorite Mother’s Day story. This one won’t fade. I miss you, Mom. I will always love you.
I know better than to go to the store late at night. The check-out staff is down to one or two or you are stuck with the horrid U-Scan piece of torture. But, alas, I had to go pick up things that they kids simply HAD TO HAVE by morning.
However, apparently I chose to check out at just the wrong time.
You see, the checkout stand right beside me had big drama going on. And by big drama I mean, there was great dispute over a 35 cent coupon. Was it a double coupon? A triple coupon? Can we take this? Oh the severity of the situation! It took 4 checkers and an assistant manager to try to figure out the problem.
Which of course was of great interest to the woman checking me out. She did not care one bit that I was standing there. She was so focused on the BIG DRAMA of the coupon issue, she heard nothing I said to her.
Our conversation went about like this (as she only looked at the other checker and not at all at me):
Checker: Do you have your club card?
Me: You are holding it.
Checker: I can wait.
Me: Sure here you go. See! Right there in your hand. I am so good! Score! (Sarcasm beginning to hit a high point for me.)
Checker: (while oh so busy fretting over the coupon caper DRAMA): So, ma’am, did you find everything you needed?
Me: Actually, no. I couldn’t find your bathrooms so I PEED on Aisle 4.
Checker: I’m sorry. Did you need a raincheck for that?
Me: Nope. Totally took care of the situation then and there and feel much better now.
Checker: Good. Glad we could help.
That was really our conversation. Now, the line was about 7 people deep and the woman behind me was about to literally wet her pants laughing. All this time the checker was oblivious.
But really? Totally worth the laugh to mock her. As I left she gave the standard, “Come again!” to which I replied, “Didn’t come the first time, but here’s to hoping for the next time!” She just nodded at me and told me to have a good night.
Suri Cruise’s Ladybug Shoes from Skimbaco rocked Oprah
May 6, 2008
I miss Gabriella’s tiny little baby girl clothes. Especially the shoes. I can melt right there on the floor for a cute pair of little girl shoes. Did you see those adorable ladybug shoes in Suri Cruise’s mudroom closet on Oprah last week? These Ladybug shoes are from an awesome Colorado-based company called Skimbaco. Getting a plug on Oprah is huge! Skimbaco’s ladybug shoes are made by Monkey-Toes, a Denver-based company, and are handpainted to order.
You can watch the video yourself and see how Tom specifically shows the shoes for Oprah.Watch the video. The shoes are at the 1:38 mark.
Skimbaco is a one-woman-show. She is a mother of three and works 14 hour days trying to get her store going. She has worked very hard and built the company with a shoestring budget.
Because I adore her and love her store, (and so you will go to her site and see how much she has to offer–not just for kids) I’m going to give away a $30 gift certificate to Skimbaco.
Just visit www.Skimbaco.com and then comment on this post telling me which Skimbaco product is your favorite. You’ll then be entered to win. The winner will be announced May 16th. The contest is open to U.S. residents only. (Sorry all of my non-US friends and readers.)
Help support this mom owned business. (And possibly win something in the process!) Go see Skimbaco!
Pitch me and I may hit it out of the ballpark for you. But I may call a foul!
May 5, 2008
Recently I was asked about pitching to Mom bloggers by someone in PR. (Thank you for actually asking and taking the time to care!) I had this in draft but decided to go ahead and post it. Take it for what you will.
I have been having some amazing conversations with people “in the know” when it comes to PR pitches, branding, owning who you are and what you write. I have learned a lot. Mainly because I have learned to shut my mouth (for the most part) and listen. (Sorry, Aaron/technosailor. I am not so great at it yet.) I spoke with the wonderful Robert Scoble who had great advice. Chris Pirillo who I totally have had a geek crush on since way back in the day on TechTV (or was it ZDTV? I forgot which came first.) They not only support mommybloggers but had some great advice when talking about this issue. (Thank you, Erin, for the introductions.)
One of the things that I have learned that is vital for trust is “full disclosure” in this whole new world of being pitched to and products. So in full disclosure, here are some of the bigger companies and/or products I have worked with recently. (Note: I am not telling you because I am shouting “Hey, look what I have done.” But more because these have been companies that have gone above and beyond to reach out and learn from mom bloggers on just how to approach us and work with us.)
AT&T
Nintendo (I would so totally have Nintendo’s baby if you could have a company’s baby! For now? Tattoo!)
Saturn
Ford
Flip.com
Disney
Disney Mobile
HP
Blizzard
Ogilvy
Johnson & Johnson
These are the companies I have chosen to work with. It does not count the amazing PR people that I work with on products like DVDs, portable hard drives, gift certificates, etc. I am not highlighting these companies because they have the “big items” but rather because they took the time to talk to me, get to know me and try to see if they can work with me and not just shove a product at me and want results.
Of all of those above, they only represent a handful of PR people that contact me on a consistent basis. I only work with ones who have taken the time to get to know me, my blog and my readers. That list? Those are amazing people that I am honored to work with. (You know who you are and I will link you only with your permission.) If they ask me to try a product that sucks, I will tell them no and why. If they offer me something that I would probably buy anyway, I will try it because we have formed a working relationship. It is a give and take now. They would never dream of mass emailing and just assuming that I will try something. They know what to approach me with and what not to bring my way. Because they got to know me and my blog.
If I had the chance, would I love to have dinner in person with these people? Rob, Nichole, Charlie, Scott, Ryan, Monica, David, Maria, Stacy, Jason etc? (Forgive me if I left your name out. I love you too and you know it if we talk.) Hell yes I would. I adore them so much after working with them. I would jump at it because we have gotten to know each other beyond the PR pitch. These types of PR are people are welcome in my inbox, on my phone and on my blog. They know they can count on me to be honest and upfront with them and about their product.
Why do I turn down the rest of you PR people? Here are a few reasons:
My name is NOT “Needs Coffee”! Do you really think that is what my mom named me? When you address me as such what you are saying is: “I don’t give a crap who you are. You are just an email address to me.” Want to know what? I don’t give a crap who you are either. You are just another deleted pitch to me.
Starting an email with: “I read [insert last post written] and think your readers would love [insert product here].” Oh really? I wrote about biting my dog. How does that make you think that my readers want your “yummy” new product that “all mommies will love” or that I want your diapers. That is so transparent! I know you just picked the last post and are trying to pretend that you have some interest in me. I have two teens and a 7 year old. How about pitching me a cell phone, laptop or webcam. (Kidding.) That is something my readers will understand. Hell, that is something that makes sense to my blog and the things I write about. Now, I know there are a lot more things to pitch a mom of young kids than a mom of teens and school age kids. I get that. But really? Try to put some thought into what you are trying to tell me “I will simply love! And want to share will all my mommy friends on the playground!” Gah!
EVERYTIME you send me a standard press release with no intro, personalization or thought, I will NEVER endorse you. Period. Would you if I sent you a standard PR pitch about my blog? Would that make you want to jump up and offer me all of your goodies? Would you think. “Wow! A standard press release about a blog I don’t know anything about. I must be special!” I didn’t think so.
Do you really want me to talk about your product? Why? This is my space. My words. My brand. If you want me to attach my name to it, tell me why. It isn’t that hard. Give me real reasons why the readers of my blog and/or I personally would want to use up the real estate on my blog to talk about your product for free. Pitch me. Convince me. Don’t come at me like some dumb housewife who would rather talk about butt wipes and watch soap operas than actually use what I have built to make a name for myself and my brand.
And this is just a question for me out of curiosity that I already touched on. I know that the word “mommy” brings up images of babies and toddlers, but have you not yet figured out that there are those of us who have teenagers? You are missing out on a large and growing population of mom bloggers by ignoring those of us with teens. We have the experience, the knowledge and have earned the respect of moms of younger children. You should take that into account. And when it comes to teens, trust me when I say we ARE looking to each other for advice on products and services. This is a prime market, people. Have you not figured that out yet? We are buying products on a daily basis for these tweens and teens and yet are virtually ignored when it comes to being seen. Big mistake. For one, these are also the kids who are making money and will be buying these things as well.
I thought about not posting this or just ignoring the whole issues since I have been there done that, but you know what? I am tired of being treated like someone who has no brain. I am smart and I know my likes and dislikes. And trust me on this one: If I love what you have, I will move heaven and Earth to make sure I get the word out. By the same token, if you treat me like dirt, I will get that word out as well. So listen to those of us who are trying to teach you. Seriously. Stop doing what you have always done and learn from us. We actually are trying to help you. Oh, and just a thought, if you really want to reach the mom bloggers and do this right, have you ever thought of hiring one of us to teach you these things? Because really? Many of you could use us. Many of you.
I want you to want me. I need you to need me.
I’d love you to love me. I’m beggin’ you to beg me.
- Cheap Trick
Now, I know you have seen the chatter on blogs, in blog comments, in newspapers, on Twitter and probably- if we ask NASA- even some chatter on Mars about it. Mommybloggers are the flavor of the day and PR people are all over it. Johnson & Johnsons’s Camp Baby? Sony’s Mom Blogger event? Disney’s MomBlogger Mixer? Ring a bell? What bothers me the most about all of this is the way some people have stooped to levels of name calling and shunning of the bloggers who are invited to these events or outcry that they were not included. Seriously? Is this where we are? Is this where we have come?
It seems like a lifetime ago, but in fact it was only three short years ago that Jenny, Meghan and I sat in a crowded room at the very first Mommyblogger BlogHer session. You know the one that held with it the assumption that it would be non-eventful and wouldn’t have much carry away? The one that launched a session every year following as well as an entire mommyblogging track this year? Yeah. That session where I actually heard the phrase “What do they have to offer?” (Meaning Mommybloggers as a whole. As a blogging genre.) Oh, how things have changed. In that session we discussed the term “mommyblogger” and whether to claim it as our own or shun it as offensive and dismissive. We talked about the recently written article that basically called mommybloggers/parent bloggers navel-gazing narcissists. We were about as low on the totem poll as bloggers came. It was the first time I heard the phrase “She’s a good writer…for a mommyblogger.”
Now look at us.
But don’t look too closely because it is not always pretty. Some mombloggers were hurt that they were not invited to some of these events. Some were rude about the moms who were invited. Some cried out that we need to claim our brand and own what we have created and not be so willing to be “bought” by a trip. Others were just happy to be able to dump the kids for a few days and hang out with friends and make new ones. It was “educational” to sit back and watch it all unfold. (In the spirit of full disclosure, I was invited to the J&J Camp Baby but in the end had to pass on it since it fell on my daughter’s seventh birthday. At this age, she still needs and wants her mom home with her on her birthday.) But these events did raise quite a few questions. The main one being: has blogging–specifically mommyblogging– changed since the advertisers and the PR people have become so involved?
However, there are plenty of sites I stopped visiting because it’s obvious the blogger is posting due to the desire to continue the steady flow of traffic and revenue, and not because she (or he) created something she’s inspired to share.
Building a community – the whole reason blogs exploded - seems less and less important and quantity is starting to trump quality. Many people blog because they want to write professionally, but the danger is if they don’t bring their A-game to every post, they diminish their chances. (Agents DO read blogs to find new talent, and they aren’t going to tap someone who’s just calling it in.)…
…I guess my point is it’s OK to reap the benefits that come from having a blog – just be careful not to lose your audience, your sense of community, and your credibility over a free keychain and a sub-par case of apple juice.
Have I phoned it in more than once because of network requirements? Hell yes I have. Does my agent want to kick me in the shins for it? Probably. But Jen brings up a good point. Has it become less about building a community and more about being seen? Having the most traffic and quantity of posts? I don’t know. I am asking you.
The other comment that kicked me in the gut was this one by Busy Mom:
I’m not sure it’s the advertisers that are the cause of any shift out there. They are just doing a variation of what they’ve always done, and there are many I enjoy working with.
The shift is how people (bloggers)respond to and them and behave.
That is where I see the most change. And after 5+ years blogging, I have seen the changes. Many changes. It comes in waves. From what I have seen, it isn’t what is being offered that is changing the way some bloggers are blogging. It is how some bloggers are changing they way they are blogging because of what is being offered.
Are you still blogging for the same reasons you first started? Are you enjoying it as much as you once did or are you trying to just “get that damn post up because it has been so long and I have to write something”? Do you feel a part of a community or an ad agency? Are you writing to write or blogging for dollars?
Don’t get me wrong. You see on the left I have ads. I was one of the first blogs in the BlogHer Ad Network when it launched. It was personal and I had faith in what they were doing. And, yes, I have met and worked with some incredible and very professional PR people. People I absolutely adore and think of as friends now. I have received some amazing products for review and am honored that I have. Does that make me a sell-out?
No. Because my opinion cannot be bought. If I hate your product, I am going to email you and tell you. I will not write a positive review for a crappy product. I won’t accept a product that I have no desire or use for. And no matter how nice you are or how much you want to woo me, you cannot buy my opinion. And that, my friends, is how I came to be friends with some of these PR people. They know that. If I accept something, the are going to get the truth. AND I would only accept it if I sincerely wanted to find out more about it.
I was recently extended an offer to take an amazing trip. A trip of a lifetime. I mean, I would be insane to pass it up. Yet, I had to go back and tell this extremely generous woman that I just could not accept the incredible life-changing aspect of it because the terms of it wouldn’t be beneficial for my entire family. Was that painful to pass up something so awesome. Hell yes! I am not stupid! Would it be worth it if it upset members of my family? No.
I guess for me it all boils down to this: If you blog because you love the community and love writing and have a passion for it, do not be swayed by the things tossed your way. OR hurt when they are not. Keep on writing. If you are blogging because you want to be one of the bloggers who is sent on these trips, gets these products and is top tier meat for the PR firms, by all means, go for it. There is nothing wrong with that if you that is what you want. But whatever you do, follow your passion.
What I am trying to say is, if you are not one of the bloggers being courted, do not let it kill your passion for writing. Write because you want to write. Blog because you love to blog. Because you love the community. Because you cannot imagine not writing. Money or no money. Products or no products. Trips or no trips. Blog for the reasons YOU want to blog. Not for anyone or anything else.
Want to know the best thing I ever received from my blogging?
My agent.
Want to know how we found each other?
I was following my passion and bringing my A-game.
(Something I have been guilty of not doing as much lately. I know. Many apologies to those who miss it and thanks to those who have hung in there with me over these bumpy times.)
Are you blogging for passion or profit? Do you know? Because ultimately, you decide. No one else. You. It is your blog. Your name. And your reasons. Why do you do it?
When the paper clip mocks you it is time for a break
April 14, 2008
I have been working furiously trying to get my book finished (to a point) to get to my ever patient and wonderful agent whom I worship and adore. (Yes, I am a good ass-kisser. Why?) I have been writing. And then writing. And then hitting a wall.
Want to know what is worse than writer’s block? Being mocked by that freaking paper clip in Word. I really hate it. I mean, I want to take it and untwist it and make it into obscene sculptures to send to unsuspecting successful authors who have made it through this already.
But tonight, when it mocked me? That was it. Mocked. Me.
See?
I need to get out and talk to more people. When the paper clip mocks me, it is time for a break. But the book? So much good to say about it. So much happening. But first? I have a paper clip sculpture to make!
I fixed the blog and now it adds “image” to the title? Huh?
April 13, 2008
Anyone know why it does this? I mean really! I work on those witty (hey, at midnight they are witty) titles. I don’t want it to start with “-image-”
Ideas?
My blog hates me. I am SO sleeping with one eye open tonight to ensure it doesn’t kill me in my sleep.
[UPDATE] Okay, now I know what the problem is but I cannot fix it. I am about to just change to a default theme and make my sweet designer cry over her hard work. Because? Between me and this blog? IT IS ON! (Like Donkey Kong….only meaner. And with less bananas.)
Going to bed. Sorry about the annoying titles. Just pretend to see a pretty image until I can fix it. Grrrrrr
[UPDATED UPDATE] My webgoddess designer Karen at Swank fixed it. No blog ass kicking today. Yet.
Things I learned on Twitter about topics one should blog about
April 12, 2008
What to do with a Saturday night when you are bored, kind of down and have nothing to do but things you need to do but don’t feel like doing? Why you Twitter of course.
This is what I have learned tonight.
Do not say you hate “Absolutely Mindy” or people will be angry. Do I have a clue who “Absolutely Mindy” is? Nope. But I should treat her with respect.
If you say bad things about her you get “torn a new anal opening” in your comments. (Assvice courtesy of BusyMom)
When in doubt, blog about Zac Efron and how dreamy he is. Pictures help. But my blog is on strike when it comes to pictures, so I can’t give you a picture of Zac Efron. Though my daughter has a eleventy hundred to choose from.
The breed standard for Dobies and poodles is nearly identical? Sans hair, good poodle = Dobe (breeding information courtesy of NinjaPoodles.)
Wil Wheaton will sing Don’t Stop Believin’ with you if you join in. (Or at least that is what I am telling myself as I jumped right in with him.)
Oh, and Emma Watson. (I was told that was always a good thing to talk about. Though, I really have nothing to say about her. My bad.)
Today has been a rough day for me. Today is the birthday of my stillborn son, Jacob. He would be 16 today. I can’t help but think of all the things we would have been doing today. Things like going for his driving test. Celebrating 16 years. Denying that I am old enough to have a kid who drives. Somehow during the day it just added to the intensity of missing my Mom.
Today I am letting myself grieve.
I have lost two people in my life way too soon. And it makes me sad.
Happy birthday, Jacob. I will always love you, my son.
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