I guess what you get is the bullet point kind of catch up post today.

School is officially finished. Over. We MADE IT!  With all of the illnesses and absences and arguments with “those in authority” (which really means those who have a title but I can make them cry) and racing to get assignments finished, we actually made it through this long and horrific school year.  For that, I am forever thankful!

Most importantly, I celebrated my 19th wedding anniversary to the most wonderful man I know.  Clint and I have been together for 22 years and married for 19 of those.  And?  We still like each other!  That in and of itself is an accomplishment.  I love that man more than words can say so I won’t even try.

Tomorrow is the official passing of the torch for the PTA presidency.  Yep.  Tomorrow I get to learn what I have jumped into.  I plan to up my meds after that meeting.  Really?  What have I done?  Someone hurry and check for the Stepford chip and rewire my brain.  I am scared!

I reconnected with some old high school friends recently.  I wish I could say it was for some huge party or reunion.  Sadly, it was because one of our friends in our graduating class died just after Memorial Day.  It was a total shock to all of us.  The thing I remember most about her?  Her amazing smile and laughter.  She radiated joy.  We all remember that and carry it with us.   I think she would be happy to know that she has brought old friends back together again.  She will be very missed.

I guess with all of the things going on around here lately I just haven’t felt like writing.  What I have been doing is refocusing on things that are important to me and matter to me.  I have been drawn to those who get me and who realize there is a huge world out there that doesn’t care about reviews, ads, stats, awards or even whether or not you get to go on a trip.  They just want to talk, laugh and be there–really be there– for each other.  I guess when life is tough, that is where I turn.  Where I have to turn.  Drama?  So 2005!  I am trying this new thing I like to call “old school blogging”  where I write about life.  And I tell stories.  And I connect with people who make me smile, laugh and think.  It’s amazing how that can change your whole view of the online world when you jump out of the fray and into the play.

I’m just sayin’!

This was hilarious.  I am sure this won’t come until my own daughter has a child of her own.  Yet, it still made me laugh.  It did not, however, make my ass, thighs and tummy laugh.

I am sorry but when I spewed my coffee when I saw this one, I knew a few of you sick readers would laugh, too.

Check all 6 out. Some are funnier than others but really? We could all use a laugh, right?

Happy Mother’s Day and stuff.

A free massage where I did not have to start it with begging, reciprocate to get the hour long treatment, and I didn’t  even need to put out afterwards as a thank you.  Though a good nap would have made it perfect.

As I lay there being spoiled I had a chance to just think.  I know you are supposed to relax but my mind is never still.

Even though we have been trying in vain to rid Brandon of whatever is making him so sick, and even though Zarek put three different schools into a panic thinking he had the swine flu, and even though I am really searching for more hours in a day to actually get the things done that I need to do, I realized how very blessed I am.

As the knots were worked out, the kinks de-kinked and the tension in my shoulders finally release, I began to think about the things that have been stressed out so much lately.

Worrying about being the PTA president next year.  But?  I am so honored that the women I most admire trust me to handle such an enormous job.  They have faith in me.  I have a great team of beautiful people to work with me.

Worrying about the fact that my boys were sick and we were all in lock down.  But?  I have been able to spend quality time with all 3 of the kids while their guards are down.  I have been able to take care of them and let them be vulnerable.  We actually talked.

Worrying about my blog and blogging and how things are changing.  But?  I am able to come here any time I want and write whatever  I want without anyone telling me what to say or how to write.  No editorial guidelines.  And?  It brought me my amazing column that I write for Parenting Magazine.  And?  It brought me my agent.

Worrying about not finishing my book.  But?  As I stuggle with one, I have finished a second and am on a third.  Mainly because when the first one gets really, really tough to work through, I have the ability to switch gears and write things that are funny.

I am blessed.  And OH. SO. RELAXED.

I will upload my video later.  You can see me go from total excitement to totally Zen Chill.  It is pretty funny! You will enjoy it.  Or  not.  Right now I am too relaxed to care.

And remember that if YOU go into any and get your very own North Texas Chevy dealer and test drive the Chevy Traverse, you will get your very own gift certificate for a one-hour massage to any Massage Envy location in Dallas/Ft. Worth. (Be sure to let them know Jenn sent you!)  Also, ladies, if you want someone to go with you to take your test drive, let me know and I will meet you up there and we can cruise together!

Now, those of you who know me and know my stories know that I am infamous for my lack of cooking skills.    (As in was called by an Oprah producer to do a segment about it.)  I have even caught frozen vegetables on fire.  You didn’t know that was possible, did you?  But, my goal this summer is to learn to cook.  No, I take that back. To learn to love to cook.  (I know.  But, hey, if I can become the PTA president, I can learn to love to cook, people.)

So you can imagine the squealing and screeching that went on here here when I got an e-mail from  Mom Central asking me to test drive a Freestanding Range and Over the Range Microwave from Frigidaire’s new collection of 250 kitchen and laundry appliances! For real?  A brand spanking new Range for me to learn to cook?  I love it already.  (The microwave will be a double special bonus!)  The whole line has been designed to give moms more free time away from the kitchen and laundry room.

Look what will be gracing my kitchen (and not just to store sweaters either!) *Click the images for a larger looksie!*

Yes I will be actually cooking meals on this bad boy.  If you promise not to tell my husband, I am really looking forward to getting stared.  I may even invite you over for dinner sometime.  Okay, that may not happen because there are a lot of you!  But click on that sweet thang and see why I am actually eager to get started.  I can learn the range and cooking at the same time.

But?  What if I am way too busy to cook a real meal on a stove or in the over? No problem.  To save me time, Frigidaire has blessed me with an amazing Over the Range Microwave.  Seeing as I ripped the handled off of my old one about 10 years ago, this will be sweet.  I suppose you want to see it too?  I know you do!  Check out my other sweetness. 

I am so honored to have been chosen by Mom Central to be a part of Team Range/Microwave.  I cannot wait to start test driving these.  I know my family will be happy to actually have home cooked meals, too.  I will keep you up to date on my learning process and my love for my new appliances.

Now, you too can win one of these amazing appliances that are being offered at My MotherLoad. To win, simply report the five things you would do with an extra hour each day. (I know you all have things you would do with an extra hour in a day!)  All participants will be entered for a chance to win an entire suite of new Frigidaire appliances.  Plus, check out the other prizes you can win – like a gorgeous new Frigidaire Affinity washer/dryer.   They are super awesome and you know you want all of these.

Also, become a fan on the Frigidaire Facebook Page and keep a lookout on the new time I have gained. Follow all of us moms on Twitter. It will be fun to see how we handle the new products.  Especially for those like me who receive an amazing gift of not only a new range but a new outlook on cooking and family meals!

Now, of course to make it all legal and official, here it the button.

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Okay, so let’s see how much you really know about me.  Pick the real reason I have been too swamped to keep up with my blog this week and last.

1. The PTA is busy sucking out my Brain.
2. The Swine Flu.
3. I have been too busy working on my book(s).
4. Blog? I have a blog?

So?  Which one did you choose?

My long time readers probably looked at #1, laughed and said for sure that must be the one.  If you live locally or anywhere that gets news coverage you probably rolled your eyes since everything and everyone is up in arms over the Swine Flu so you may have chosen that as a default.  If you are my agent, most definitely you should choose #3 and believe it with all of your heart.  And many of you have read too many posts like this and knew the real reason was probably #4.

The winners? Those of you who chose….

NUMBER 2!  Yes, folks, we are in quarantine lock down stuck in our house dealing with schools, doctors and administration because one of my kids tested positive for Type A flu.  So now we are all “happily” locked in our home until we hear from the CDC or some organization with some initials who are doing further testing to see what kind of flu the child has.  Personally, I think it is just your garden variety flu but with pandemic panic,  everyone is overly cautious.  But? I got to sleep in so that works for me!

I’ll let you know what happens but for now, we are pretty confident he just has the crud, which is the technical term for just your normal flu virus.

Oh, and I checked all of the information we were given and am pretty sure you can’t catch it by reading this.  You can however catch it by not commenting or voting for me to win a much needed get away.  I’m just saying!

The Motherhood has teamed up with Hebrew National to sponsor Picnics with a Purpose to kick off the summer grilling season.  Now most of you who know me know that I am very brand loyal.  Once I find something that I like, I am sticking with it.  Hebrew National is one of those brands.  So, they had me interested by brand name and had me hopping on a plane with the charity aspect.  But what really touched me is the “purpose” part of this project.  Each city that The Motherhood and Hebrew National visits will be giving back to the community and/or a local charity.  If you know me, I love helping with charities.  Especially those that involve children. 

Saturday afternoon we had a picnic in Orlando hosted by blogger Lee of Theme Park Mom.  She chose to help out the charity Give Kids the World.

Do you know about this great charity? Give Kids the World Village is a 70-acre, non-profit resort that creates magical memories for children with life-threatening illnesses and their families. GKTW provides accomodations at its whimsical resort, donated attractions tickets, meals and more for a week-long, cost-free fantasy vacation. GKTW has helped more than 75,000 families from all 50 states and more than 50 countries.

I was honored to meet a family who has benefitted from Give Kids the World Village.  Amber and her daughter Gabrielle.  It took me about 2 minutes (if that) to want to be best friends with Gabrielle.  She had something about her that draws people to her.  I was asking to be her best friend after a half an hour.  Gabby has had so many multiple obstacles to overcome in her 7 short years.  She is most definitely a living miracle.  And boy does that little girl live!  She is full of smiles, love and laughter.  I am convinced she has some sort of special angel dust that surrounds her.  I even asked her to sprinkle just a little bit on me to get even a touch of her specialness.  (She did it, too!)

I am over the top excited to be a part of this. Learning about new organizations that need help, supporting a brand, Hebrew National, and working with the amazing women at The Motherhood.  I mean, what is not to love about all of that?

For those of you who want to be a part of the fun we are having, check out the following cities.  (And, no, I won’t be able to go to all of them.  I am sad about that, too.)  Anyway…. Picnics with a Purpose is being held in eight cities: Orlando, Tampa, Atlanta, New York, Virginia Beach, Providence, RI, Detroit and Philadelphia. If you live near any of the eight cities, let the lovely women of The Motherhood  know and they will send an invite (until they fill up). Eight star bloggers are hosting the picnics and along with each, a community give-back project.

And for the record, yes, I am feasting all I want on hot dogs.  Because I can.

I have been waiting excitedly to tell you about the latest opportunity this amazing blog has brought to me.  I had to take care of a few administrative things before I could say anything but now, rather than bursting, I am going to share with you my secret.  I’ve been selected as one of only five mom bloggers in the DFW metroplex to take part in the “Mommy Madness” campaign for CBS Radio and North Texas Chevy Dealers.  What does this mean?  Well, in short, it means that I get to test drive (meaning live out of) a brand spankin’ new Chevy Travers for the next 8 weeks.  They are calling us the Mom Squad.  We have missions to do and errands to run but they are all fun for not only us, but for the entire family!

On Friday (during a downpour that made my liver quiver) I drove to the CBS studios to meet some of the CBS Radio DJ’s and pick up my Traverse.  Let me tell you something about the two fabulous DJ’s I had the opportunity to torment harass get to know:  They were hilarious and fun!  I am talking about Gene and Julie from the KVIL morning show.  Things I did not know before I chose to sit between them:

• Gene actually would choose to eat baby food bananas if asked to. (He admitted it and it is on tape somewhere.)
• You can totally be a smart alec with people who do it for a living and they aren’t afraid of your “out there” personality!
• Calling yourself “the supreme being of all around me” will only get you the response, “Sorry, that is my title but if you need to borrow it you can.”
• These two people are perfect together and I now have a duel DJ crush.

I also was able to meet  with the North Texas Chevy Dealers, more CBS radio personalities from Jack FM, KLUV and KVIL, all the marketing people you can fit into one conference room and the other 4 Moms who are a part of the “Mom Squad.”

The DFW Mom Squad moms are:

• Jenn - Mommy Needs Coffee (Look!  That’s me!)
• Brooke - Dinkypops No More!
• Sherah - Savvy and Simple
• Donna - Spuddy Buddy
• Cynthia - Oh So Cynthia

After the meet and greet and tell us what you would eat (if you were to eat baby food), we were paired up with our very own dealer from our very own dealership. I was honored to be paired up with Jerry’s of Weatherford.  Poor David was the man selected to show me all of the amazing features of the Traverse.  I say poor David because we spent half the time going over the features and half the time laughing so hard people thought we had lost our mind.  For example, while he was showing me the features of the back seat DVD player he looked up and noticed me hugging the seat and fondly caressing the car.  To say the least it threw him off track.  Pretty much all of the features he showed me had similar responses from me.  He was absolutely hysterical as I responded to each amazing part of the Traverse with glee, giddiness and a bit of lust.  What a great sport!

And now, where you can help me.

The wonderful people behind this program want you to vote for you favorite DFW Mom Squad member.  (This would be ME to you, my wonderful readers!)  Just go to the Mommy Madness site and vote. (Again, for me.)  It isn’t hard.  It doesn’t hurt. AND when you vote you have the chance to win a spa trip to Lost Pines Resort & Spa in beautiful Austin!  You know you want a piece of that!

AND if you are in the DFW area and go to any North Texas Chevy Dealers and test drive a Traverse, you can get a ONE HOUR massage at Massage Envy.  Show me one person who doesn’t need that one!

I will be uploading pictures of my new foster baby Traverse later.  For now, go vote.  It is your patriotic duty, people.

Did you read it?

Now, many of my long time readers are sitting there with either their mouth agape, or they are spewing their drink on their computer OR they are laughing so hard they can hardly read this. (You people laughing, so not nice.)  I know. I KNOW.  The anti-PTA, fall down and play dead if they approach, mock all things PTA and call them Stepfords drank the Kool Aid.

You are now reading the blog of….(insert either a drumroll or Taps here) the president of the [insert elementary school name here] PTA.  Yes, you read that correctly.  No, it is not an April Fool’s joke.  Yes, I am serious.

PTA president.  WHAT HAVE I DONE?  (If ever a sentence deserves all caps, it is that one!)

Okay, so before I get into details, feel free to let the open mocking, laughing and “you did what?!” comments flow. Because? I will bite you if you keep it up past this post.  (Although “they” say I have to be nice now.  Do they not read this blog??)

First the economy tanks and then people actually nominated, voted and elected ME to be the PTA president.  What is next? Locusts and plagues?

There are more than one of you I know are dying to let me have it. Bring it.  I can take it.  I have power now.  (Bwhahaha Yes!  I did spit out my drink at that one!)

Again, my bad.

And with that….

Pink - So What

• Gabriella celebrated her 8th birthday. (I wrote about her amazing story and how she renewed my Faith on my Parenting Magazine blog column.)
• The anniversary/birthday of our stillborn son came and shocked me when I realized he would have been 17 years old this year.  SEVENTEEN?! I don’t even know how it is possible to be that long ago.  I sang him Happy Birthday and made a birthday wish in his memory.
• I pondered ways to actually become the first mom to have Hallmark’s love child.  I am not sure of the actual specifications of how that will be physically possible, but I am looking into it.  Why?  Because I fell in love and sometimes when you fall in love you want to have a love child. There is nothing wrong with that!  And I imagine the baby will look a lot like Hillary Swank.  I’m just saying.  More on Hallmark, love children and why I wept in the hallways of one of the most energetic and creative buildings I have ever been inside after a VP  of creative writing and editorials and a published author herself (whose creative energy just crackled off of her!) stopped to talk to me and shared something special with me about why she  believed April would be a good month and why she knew last month’s March 6th would bring me luck.   It made me cry.  (A good way.)  And?  I discoverd there are actually some mom bloggers and PR reps who are generous in dealing with an old lady (me) who has  teenagers. (GASP! Teenagers!!)
• I am sure that if I do the research, I will discover that the underwire bra was originally the idea of a man who hated his wife and/or girlfriend.
• I love to travel.  I love to meet new people. I have discovered that when I see things first hand and experience them with my own eyes and ears, I really do become a brand-loyal-almost-but-not-quite-to-the-point-of-obsessive-stalker. (Even if I thought I already was, I become more so.)  One might call me a product whore. I might hit that person but one might say it.
• If you are on an airplane and you have a new Nintendo DSi and are playing with the camera feature, you just might get a free drink out of the deal if you let the flight attendant play with it.  Not that I am actually admitting that happened.  I am just saying that if you did have one and you did let her play with it that might happen.

Well, those are just some random thoughts.  If they were real blog posts I would link to them and send you over to read all about them.  These are just random thoughts I thought I would share with you.

I’m just saying.