Breaking up is hard to do
February 12, 2004
Well, I did it. I broke up with the PTA. (And right before Valentine’s Day, too.) It was just such a textbook break-up. The whole “I just don’t see where this is going” and of course “It’s not you, it’s me.” And yes, we must not forget “Let’s just be friends.”
There were tears, as in every break up. (Granted, mine were tears of joy.) The typical dumpee saying, “Can’t we work this out? I am sure there are other positions we can try. You can’t give up on us. What about the Membership Drive? I thought that meant something to you.”
I just had to be brutal. “Listen. It just isn’t working for me. I want to try other volunteering opportunities. We’ll see each other. This just isn’t a healthy relationship. I’m sorry.”
It just got sad. “But will you still join? Can I at least count on your to support us as a memeber? You can’t just abandon us like this.”
I had to get tough. “Listen. I can’t do this. The truth is, there is another organization. I didn’t want to bring it into this, but you leave me no choice. I am going to be doing more with soccer. I know I said that I was through with it, but that was before. I really think I can make it work. In fact, I was even asked to play for a team this year. Don’t you see? Soccer and I can really be good together. I can manage a junior team and play on an adult team. The PTA just couldn’t offer me the chances, the thrill.”
“So this is it? You really are breaking-up with us?”
“Yes. It is for the best. You’ll meet someone new who will be your volunteer slave and you won’t even remember my name. It just hasn’t been right for a long time. We both know it. You’ll see. Now go on. Meet someone new. Make them yours.”
Break-ups can be so sad. So sad indeed. In fact, I think I will have some champagne to celebrate mourn. Now all that is left is sorting through our stuff and moving out of the workroom. But, I do have until the end of the school year. That is when the lease term is up.
So, technically, does this mean I get to stuff my face with chocolate like every good break-up deserves?
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Posted by Jenn @
5:52 pm | |
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PTA? Nah. CMPTC is the way to go!
February 9, 2004
Update: It was brought to my attention by one Cool Dad that the name might need a bit of tweaking. I mean, there are some WAY cool dads who might want to join us too. (Thanks Mr Chickenshorts) So, if all approve, the new name will be CPTC (Cool Parents Taking Charge) All in favor, raise your glass. All apposed, go join the regular PTA.
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Something has to be done about the PTA Militant Moms. Either that, or get me an unlisted number. I used to think that volunteering for PTA was something I could do to get involved and know more about what is going on at the boys’ school. You know, make the commitment to help out and all of that crap? It turns out I misread the by-laws. I am to be actually committed for volunteering. As in committed to a mental institution for serious lack of the Mommy Militia Gene.
Is it so wrong to want to be involved with my kids and not have to spend roughly 10-15 hours a week, every week doing things that I really don’t see make much of a difference. And then be told that you did it wrong or not the way it has always been done? It is downright discouraging and frustrating. I think Natalie and I need to start a new version of the PTA. We can call it the CMTC. (Cool Moms Taking Charge)
We will restrict your volunteer time to when you can make it and hold off on the guilt. Meetings will be held in restaraunts that serve liquor. It will not be a sin to have children younger than the ones in the school where you are a volunteer. Speaking at a meeting for longer than 10 minutes will get you smacked. If the phrases “That’s not how we usually do it” or “that isn’t how is is supposed to be done” are uttered, that person buys the drinks at the next meeting. If you find great delight and glee in the Parlimentary Proceedure, you will probably not fit in. Oh, we will allow you to give us a try, but remember what happens if you use one of those phrases mentioned above? It could get pretty expensive for you. We are strong on the old childhood motto: “If you have nothing nice to say, keep your freakin mouth shut”. Most importantly, we realize that you actually do have children and a life outside of school. We wil respect that. Unlike the PTA, we will not require you to give these things up to serve us.
Oh yes, the CMTC will be great. Who wants to join? Charter members get free margaritas!
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Posted by Jenn @
11:46 am | |
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PTA nightmare
January 30, 2004
Yesterday I had to got to work on PTA stuff for what felt like years hours. Yes, hours. We are honoring some members today, so I had to write up a brief “Why we are honoring so-and-so today” blurbs, decided what special gift to present and then go purchase said gift. (I ended up getting this great plant in an adorable tin bucket with Spring flowers painted on it and a wooden heart in the middle of the plant. I added a few pink roses to each plant to brighten it up. They looked great!) So, this morning, in a rare instance of thinking ahead, I recruited the boys to help me carry the plants into the school. (Got a lot of compliments on the way in to the school, too.)
But honestly, I am sick to my stomach about running this meeting and dealing with this whole event. Normally, I wouldn’t care in the least. However, our PTA president (one of those PTA Militant types) pretty much laid it out last week that nothing I do is right in her eyes. You know the type? I could turn water into a red wine and she would say that I shouldn’t made it white wine. *sigh*
I even went as far as having horrible dreams all night about it. This is SO not like me to let someone I don’t even respect or admire get me all riled up. Maybe it is the cold medicine that has me jittery, but I sure will be happy when this day is over. Ugh. My stomach hurts thinking about it.
I hate to admit it, but maybe I am not cut out to be a PTA mom. Not if they have to be perfect. I am the first to admit, I am not perfect. (Just don’t tell Clint. He needs to think I am.) Seriously, this woman makes me not want to have anything to do with the PTA. How wrong is that? We’ll see. Maybe she won’t be supreme ruler next year. (Hey, a girl can hope!)
I’ll let you know what happens and if there are any cat fights or anything. Hope your day is great!
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Posted by Jenn @
7:10 am | |
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The PTA Mom…exposed
January 21, 2004
Okay, so by now you know that I am a PTA mom. It hasn’t been until recently that I realized that there are various, shall we say, distinct subspecies of the PTA mom.
Did you know that the term “PTA mom” is actually a broad term for an entire species? (Did you even know that there was subspecies of the PTA mom?) I didn’t used to know that either. But, alas, I have become educated and would like to share it with you.
First, let’s bust the myth of the definition that is apparently the most commonly thought to be correct; that is, that a PTA mom is just a mom that is a member of the PTA. Wrong! Oh sure, in the broadest, most vague sense, that is correct. But let me tell you something, there are most definitely subspecies of this creature. (PTA Dads, from my studies, I have found that you usually fall into one of these subspecies that I will get into later. You have not been forgotten.) Let us learn of these creatures.
There is the PTAnal Militant Mom. You know her. Everyone knows her. You see, she is the one who is in the forefront. She wants all the glory and the recognition. Usually you will find her heading up one or several committees, most likely the president or vice president of her school’s PTA. She is the one who believes that, in fact, the school would crumble without her. Ahhh, the arrogance runs deep. Don’t try to get something done with her if you have not followed the proper procedure first. We are serious about this now. (She is probably taking a memo of this little lesson in triplicate right now.) She will reduce you to tears if you do not do things her way. She turns away the newbies and the moms who can’t give more than 30 hours a week. Working moms? Forget it. They can’t possibly do the job that she wants done! Make no mistake; crossing this PTAnal Militant mom will leave you with scars.
Then we have the PTAll Mom. She wants to be involved in everything. And since she wants that so badly, you must want it, too. She will be the one to call you long after you have told her you are not able to do whatever it is she wants you to do. She does not take no for an answer. Once she senses any weakness she goes in for the “ever-so-sweet” kill. She shows up at every event more than willing to do whatever is needed to be done….as long as everyone knows that she was there doing whatever it is that needs to be done. She is at the school more than the teachers. She is almost always perky. (Even without coffee.) This is the mom who knows everything about everyone at the school and is more than willing to let you know whatever it is you want to know. She is a great gossip. A great go-to gal for the latest dish.
Then we have the PTAhh-whatever Mom. (This is also the species that most of the PTA Dads that I know fall into.) They are the moms and dads who just want to be able to help out at the school. They joined PTA to be able to know what is going on with their kids and the school. They are usually the naive ones who have no idea that there is a vicious behind the scenes story happening. They are the fun parents at the parties. The ones the kids want to go on the field trips with them. Truly, they are in this for their kids and just want to help out. This sub-species is the most sought after of the PTA species.
Of course, we must include the PTAway Mom. While these are the most common, they are rare to see. These are the parents who join the PTA to say that they have supported the school, yet they have never been seen or heard from. They are ideal for the PTAnal Militant Mom because she can boast numbers without having to deal with the “little people”. We have seen many of these PTAway Moms/Dads move into the PTAhhh-whatever sub-species after they have some time and experience under their belt.
So there we have it. The PTA Mom devided into the 4 major sub-species. PTAnal Militant Mom, PTAll Mom, PTAhh-whatever Mom, and PTAway Mom.
Any questions?
Posted by Jenn @
1:35 pm | |
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Meeting strategies
October 17, 2003
I discovered some really interesting things while sitting through my THREE HOUR PTA meeting today. (Yes, I said three hours!) I thought I would share some of them with you.
1. If you stare intently at someone’s mouth while they are talking, no matter how confident they are in what they are saying, they will begin to stammer and lose their train of thought. Works great on pompous people.
2. Everytime you look at a certain person, rub your cheek a just little bit (be subtle about it). After a while, they will begin to casually rub their own cheek. To the point of obsession. Trying oh so hard to rid themselves of whatever blemish must be there (but really isn’t!) It is great! (Sidenote: This works with the mouth, nose and chin as well.)
3. It is probably best not to say, “Are you still talking?” when one of the reports goes too long. More specifically, don’t say it loud enough for someone else to hear you.
4. If you’re really bored and want to gauge how bored other people are, just keep glancing at the ceiling. The same spot. Then look around and see who else keeps looking up there. This actually serves a dual purpose. (a) You see who is bored. (b) You see who is so bored they have resorted to watching you watch the ceiling.
5. And finally, and this is one is kind of important…don’t doodle things such as “I’m in meeting hell” or “Will this ever end?!!” or “blah blah boring meeting blah blah” on the report that you are supposed to turn in at the end of the meeting. Really. Make sure you know what is yours to keep and what is being handed over.
I hope my little meeting insights help you. If I can give just one person ways to maintain some level of entertainment during boring meetings, then my purpose here has been served.
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Posted by Jenn @
8:56 pm | |
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Volunteeraholic
October 2, 2003
Hi. My name is Jenn and I am a volunteer-aholic.
(Is there a 12 step program for this?)
I sometimes feel like that old joke. You know the one where everyone is standing in a line and the person in charge says, “Everyone who wants to volunteer take one step forward.” And then everyone else takes one step back so that there is just one sucker looking like he took that “one step forward”. You know that one? Yeah, well, I am that sucker I think.
Let’s just take a look here:
I am the team manager for Kidlet Jr’s soccer team.
I am the “oh no we need some help this week” manager for Kidlet Sr’s soccer team.
I am on the executive board for the boys’ school’s PTA.
I am also the chairman of two other committees for the PTA.
I am on the volunteer in a pinch list (for those times when someone doesn’t show up.)
I am on the committee to put together the weekly newsletter that goes out to all of the students.
I sign songs in church when they want/need it for some reason.
Today, the sign language choir leader at the school was in the workroom talking about how many kids there were this year and how overwhelming it was. Before I knew it I was asking if she needed any help and that I would be more than willing to help since I am somewhat fluent in ASL. I stood there as the words came out of my mouth and in an almost slow motion, cartoon bubble way. I could almost see them hanging in there air. My brain is screaming “WHO JUST SAID THAT? QUIT TALKING. NOW!” Too late. As my brain and my mouth catch up to each other, it is just too late. I have in my hands the schedule and 10 cassettes to record the song they are working on this week. This time, though, I did tell her I couldn’t commit to every week. Not right now. Of course, as I am saying that, I am thinking “Oh sure, I can do that. I love doing that. Not everyone knows sign language. They need someone who does.” Luckily, Little Diva pulled my shirt and said, “Mommy…wanna go home now. Mommy is tired.” (Notice, she said “Mommy tired”. Not that she was tired. Smart kiddo.)
Hmmm, wonder why Mommy is tired, sweetie? Could it be that whereas your vocabulary has suddenly embraced the word no, mine has somehow deleted it from my memory. Nah, that couldn’t be it.
You do know that this means, though, don’t you? I am committed. I am being counted on. I have so many things to do and am finally active and feeling “a part of”. Know what that means? It means we will end up moving and uprooting. It never fails. But if that means a job, yank up my roots baby and send me on my way!
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Posted by Jenn @
3:34 pm | |
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I have become HER!
September 5, 2003
I have a confession to make. I have become HER.
Who am I talking about? Well, the woman I used to make fun of when I was younger. The woman who was so involved in the activities of her kidlets that she knew everyone in the neighborhood. Everyone knew her. She was usually known only as “so-and-so’s Mom”.
That’s me now.
I just spent 2.5 hours getting “briefed” (not so brief if you ask me) on my new VP position on the PTA. This of course was after I went up to the soccer league office to get my ID badge as team manager for Kidlet Jr’s team, but before I went to a Mom’s house to drop off my info packet for the MOMS club I joined with Little Diva.
Yep. I’m HER.
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Posted by Jenn @
2:41 pm | |
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To the batmobile
August 22, 2003
Yesterday after my migraine subsided, I was minding my own business when it happened. The Bat phone rang! There’s an emergency in Gotham! Hurry! To the Batmobile!
Okay, actually, it was my regular phone. And it really wasn’t an emergency. It was a call for a volunteer from the PTA needing some help in the workroom at the Kidlets’ school. And I didn’t really jump in the Batmobile. Just my standard car complete with a car seat. But really, now, how exciting is that? The whole
Batman thing sounded so much cooler! I have a confession to make. I will tell
you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Promise?
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Posted by Jenn @
8:41 am | |
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