Mentally speaking, it isn’t my fault
August 11, 2004
I have a confession of sorts to make. Well, not so much a confession as it is an admission. Maybe not as much an admission as it is a shocking revelation. Anyway, to the point. But, oh for the love of all things bloggish, do not tell anyone.
I almost miss volunteering up at the school. Rather, I miss being in the loop and up at the school as much as I used to be. Now, wait. I did not say I miss the PTA. Reread that. Again. Okay. I miss being in the know. Today I had two conversations that stuck with me. (Okay, I admit it. Most conversations are forgotten shortly after I have them because, well, I am the human version of Dory in Finding Nemo. There. I said it. Now, where was I?) Someone on the Board (the Board) called me yesterday to ask me what chairman position I wanted to volunteer for since I was no longer moving. When I finished laughing, I said that I really needed this year off after my experiences the previous year. The Boardie went on to tell me how much they need volunteers this year and how low the volunteer numbers are etc. (Gee, I wonder why?)
Later, I was talking to my closest friend and Partner in Crime at the school (whom I adore with all my heart) and she was reading off all of the positions available. Yes, I admit, I asked what was open out of curiousity. As much as I hated the awful way I was treated last year, I enjoyed being a part of the school. (I said school people, not PTA.)
I am not sure what I was feeling. Not regret. I don’t regret getting the hell off of that Board. Not saddness. At least not for me. Probably a touch of saddness that a few petty women can push good people away from helping out in their child’s school. I felt badly that there were not enough volunteers this year. Should I help? What can I do? Then I realized what I must be feeling. There could be no other explanation.
I am suffering from a condition known as Stockholm Syndrome. It is the only explanation. This is a brief description. You read through my archives and then dare to tell me that it is not in fact what I am suffering from.
Virtually anyone can get Stockholm Syndrome if the following conditions are met:
Posted by Jenn @
4:58 am | |
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Proof!
May 18, 2004
See! I SO told you that they were trying to kill me!
A study has been released that says that :
“Despite the rewards that often come with volunteering, donating your time and energy to projects may be also be bad for your health, new study findings suggest.”
So does this mean I can sue? I mean, really, that would solve a lot of problems around here in regards to the move. I mean, if you can sue fast food joints for gaining weight, surely I can sue a volunteer organization for making me sick (in more ways than one.)
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Posted by Jenn @
5:46 am | |
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Freedom
May 17, 2004
Well, I officially got the call from one of the new Stepford Wives asking if I can pass over the binders for the position I am leaving.
My response? “Hell yes you can have them! Would you like me to slip the knife out of my back for them to reuse, too, or are you hoping for a fresh one?”
Okay, I didn’t say that last part. Yet. But I wanted to say it. The thing is, I think that she just may be one of “them.” You know which type I am talking about.
I wish I could describe to you the intense feelings I have over finally being rid of them this hell this position. At first, I had anxiety over even having to deal with it. I mean, let’s face it, these women gave me great material! I have to admit, it really can be fun at times being a thorn in someone’s side who has done everything in their power to tear you down and make you feel like you have never been, and will never be welcome in their group. Yet, I hate that I let anyone, let alone a group of catty women, make me feel less than for even a moment. They aren’t worth the stress and tears they caused me. They rank right up there with my childhood nemesis. (Only I think the junior high girls were more mature.) I know that not only my peace of mind, but my stress levels will dramatically decline after ridding myself of these women**.
So that brings me to the other emotion. Sheer, unadulterated BLISS! I am free of the childish games. Free of the backstabbing. Free of the petty and spiteful things they do to each other. Free of the demand to spend no less than 20 hours a week on “business.” Free of, well, let me just say it, the bitches who made my last year at this school sheer hell.
Bitter? Yeah, I guess I am. Sorry I took the position in the first place? Not at all. In fact, it gave me a great “gift” that I cannot get into now, but let’s just say, I get the last word. My husband says I need to forgive and move on. Oh, I have every intention of doing that. But, please, a jab now and then feels so good. (Does that make me evil? lol)
Of course, this post makes me wonder if I sound as bitter as I feel. Then I realized, I don’t care. It’s better to get it out than, well, put the hurt on one of these women for insulting me yet one more time!
**I have said it before, but I want to be really clear about something here. Not every woman on the board was horrible. I had a couple of friends that pretty much salvaged it for me. Those friendly women are not the ones I am talking about here. Those women are above the cattiness of the group. I just wanted to be clear that I don’t have such negative feelings towards all of them. (Just most!)
Oh yeah, and I am not against the PTA as an organization. Just the group that I was subjected to.
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Posted by Jenn @
2:01 pm | |
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All this and a movie too?
May 15, 2004
Oh my goodness! Imagine my surprise when I saw that they had made a movie about our very own PTA! Of course, for some reason, I was not asked to be in it, but that’s okay.
I am just so proud of the women that I have come to know and…work with that I could just cry.
You go girls! Now you can get national exposure.
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Feed me. I earned it!
April 22, 2004
Today is the annual Volunteer Appreciation Luncheon at the boys’ school.
Are you waiting on pins and needles to find out if I am going or not? (Oh come on, I know you live for this kind of PTA talk. Admit it!)
I am. Yes, I was shocked, too. But, I am. One of my dearest friends (who happens to also be the mother of Little Diva’s best friend) talked me into it. She put it to me in a great way.
“Hey, they have to serve you. And it’s free!”
The bottom line is that it isn’t for the PTA. It is for all of the volunteers. I cherish all of the time I am able to really help out at the school (like with actual kids and not just papers and Stepford Wives). And I really do have some good friends who will be there (and some are even on the Exec Board with me).
Although, I do run the risk of having to be civil to the Luncheon Lady. Remember her? The one throwing a luncheon for the three of us just two of the people on the board who are moving? Maybe I can put a mixture of Ex-Lax and Syrup or Ipecac in her food.
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9:08 am | |
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PTA Volunteer Protection Program
March 23, 2004
Okay, we all know that I have said a thing or two that might be construed as in a somewhat unfavorable light regarding the PTA. No, no. You don’t have to defend me. I have shown a slight distaste for my year of servitude incarceration volunteering. But I have to say, really, people, I don’t hate the organization known as the PTA.
I got a really, shall we say, not nice email from a woman stating the wonderful things that the PTA can do and how they are a great organization and blah blah blah. I never said I hate the organization of the PTA. I have just been burned very badly by my experience with my PTA this year.
I honestly thought that I was the only person who had any negative experiences in regards to the PTA ever. I thought surely the fault lies within me. That someone how I am just missing that ever elusive PTA gene. Until I started to hear from some of you. OH how I have laughed!
Thank you for sharing your experiences, your comments and your support. I have gotten thousands of comments on various things here, but yesterday, I got one of the funniest ones to date. Rhonda over at Traveling On wrote to me (when I was getting overwhelmed about packing and getting ready to move) “Don’t think of it as packing and cleaning. Think of it as preparing to join the PTA Witness Protection Program!” That made me about pee my pants laughing. (Thanks Rhonda!)
To think, an experience with the PTA that got so out of hand that I had to enter the PTA Witness (or should it be Volunteer) Protection Program! That just really cracked me up! Can’t you see it now? The official FBI looking agents giving me the low-down:
“The life you once knew is over. Where we are sending you in hundreds of miles away. They will know nothing of your prior PTA experience. You should no longer keep your board badge or your 8 binders with board information. Where you are going, they will see you as a newbie to the PTA. Your record has been cleared. Do not attempt to contact anyone from your previous PTA or you could be discovered as a volunteer and, then, well, there is just nothing more we would be able to do to help you. You’d be on your own. Good luck. God speed. And for the love of all that is holy, do not fill out a volunteer interest form at your new location.”
I just got such a kick out of that image!
So, since you all have been more than wonderful about sharing with me your similar or sometimes ever more bizarre PTA experiences, I am giving a shout out for some input. I want to hear your funny, bizzarre, out of the ordinary, mean etc PTA tales. You can email me or comment. Whichever works best for you. I will contact everyone who helps me out and will send you all a little something to show my thanks. Oh, now don’t go expecting a diamond ring or anything. I am an out of work college student mom with 3 kids. 
I do appreciate this!
And remember, when they get to be too much and you feel you’ve lost control of your own life, the PTA Volunteer Protection Program is there for you!
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Posted by Jenn @
9:24 pm | |
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Election= because I said so ??
March 17, 2004
A while back, the cult sent out a notice that they were taking nominations for next years board positions. (nominate: tr.v. To propose by name as a candidate, especially for election) See, I included the definition of nominate there. So far so good. So far it makes sense.
Last week they sent home a notice that the “elections” were going to be next week. (election: n. 1: a vote to select the winner of a (political) office 2: the act of selecting someone; “many candidates ran for election”) In that notice they gave you the names of the people who will be filling those positions. No, not the choices of names that were submitted. The names of the people already selected to fill these positions. And you, lucky parent, get to “vote” for them. Huh?
Am I missing something here? Isn’t an election choosing someone to fill a position, not agreeing with the choice a very, very few select people have already chosen? Maybe I am too democratic to really understand the cult and it’s ways. Either way, I am just thrilled out of my mind to be moving so that I not only won’t be on the list, I won’t even be in the same city anymore.
But really, am I missing something?
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10:32 am | |
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I need to work out!
March 5, 2004
I’ve found that if I work out really hard then my mood is significantly better and my desire to beat the ever living crap out of stupid people is pretty much under control.
After listening for 25 mintues to the president of our PTA rant on about how I just didn’t do the quality of job I was <style. I need to go kick something. I’m off to the gym.
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I survived!
February 27, 2004
I survived the banquet. And I didn’t even throw up on anyone! (Yay me!) Actually, I wasn’t really afraid of speaking in public. I am all about that. Give me a room of people and I can talk without any problem. Stick me one on one with people I am uncomfortable with, well, then you have the whole throwing up issue to deal with. (Although, really, wouldn’t that be the ultimate parting gift? I bet they’d never forget me!)
So, the best way to describe it is to compare it to having to go out to dinner with someone you broke up with and their best friends. Yep. It was just that much fun. (Thankfully, I went with a friend on the executive board who is great…not a PTA MM that I have known since Kidlet Sr. was in kindergarten. She is awesome! We aren’t close, but we socialize together now and then.)
Let me set the scene. We get there and most of our table has arrived. I look longingly at the other table and wish I was over there. (Table with the teachers and staff. Those people I can relate to.) There is the awkward small talk to start off things. Then we go to eat. After we start eating one of the PTA-MMs (PTA Militant Moms) turns to me and says,
“So, what is this I hear about you moving? You’re going back to college? Like with all of the 20 year olds?” (Imagine the snidest, most condescending tone you can. That was her.)
I reply, “Well, yes. I went to A&M before and we both loved the town. I think it will be great to finish up there.”
“And it’s because your husband has been out of work for…how long was it? 2 years?…Goodness.” (Again the tone.)
Now really, in most cases, I would rip someone a new one for talking to me this way. At the least, they would get quite a tone back. I sat for a moment. It was one of those moments where I realized that I had 2 choices. I could reply to her in the tone she was using and humiliate her (trust me, I can do it without blinking and eye) or I could choose not to become like her and just realize she is not worth it. I chose something in between. She got a look that pretty much said, “Are you seriously acting like a junior high child or am I imagining it?”
Then (godbless her), my friend pops up from beside me.
“You read her email. She is going back to school to get her teaching certificate. I think she is a helluva a lot braver than any of us sitting here in our little comfort zone spending all of our time doing the same old same old. She is going out and making major life changes so that she can not only make a difference in general, but make a difference in her family. I wish I was that brave.”
*silence*
Of course, at that moment, I suddenly had to use the bathroom. (Okay, I had to cry, but you better swear not to tell anyone that!) When I got back, I did what I always did when I was a kid and the other girls were acting like rotten snots, I went to hang out with the adults. (The teachers I adore.) Then, I had a great time.
Oh, and as for giving the awards, it turns out I didn’t have to. They changed the format and they had “Readers” read summaries we wrote and I only went up there and hugged them when they got their award. (Yes, I admit it. I am a hugger!)
Thanks for your support. All I can say I am SO glad it is over. Buhbye, PTA Militant Moms.
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Posted by Jenn @
1:59 pm | |
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Is it tomorrow yet?
February 26, 2004
Tonight is a big PTA banquet. The one that I had a very big hand in getting together. The one that I have stressed over since December. The one where I have to give out 4 awards in a room of hundreds of people. The one I have been dreading since I first heard about it.
This morning I threw up.
Think they’re related?
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