Hey, look at that! I am writing on my blog. Now, don’t faint or anything. Oh, wait, do I need to reintroduce myself again after such a long time away? Nah! You’ll remember soon enough.
I had so many things to say and write about over the past “not so much blogging” time but yet allowed myself to feel very restricted by people around me. Yes, I broke my own rule and let others silence me. Will. Not. Happen. Again. At least not for the reasons it happened this time. April & May just flat out sucked. No other way to say it. I allowed people who don’t care about me try to push me down. Oh, they can justify it. But, with every justification or excuse, I can come back with the written truth. (Save emails & voicemails, people.) or my version. But none of that really matters. In the long run, I saw some people for who they really were on the inside– not who they appear to be. I was pleasantly surprised with some, not at all surprised by others and very saddened to see the true colors of some who were once so respected. Thankfully, those who do care about me held me up, supported me and got me through better than before. And really, aren’t those the people who matter anyway? Those who truly do care about you and your family and not an agenda they have?
In the long run, what was meant to slam me down and break me, built me up and made me stronger and better. How? It caused me to take a step back and ask myself: What am I passionate about? I mean really passionate about! Not “I’ll do this because I have to, because I am expected to, or because no one else will” kind of jobs/activities. I am talking about what makes you want to jump out of bed and do it without the dread. Or the thing that makes you want to shout to the world that you are doing it not feel the need to self medicate to get through it. What are you really, truly, deep in your heart passionate about?
For me, that question was easy. I mean so easy it slapped me in the face with the obvious. My family is a given but let’s just put them first as to avoid any confusion. The next answer…DUH….writing. I become excited. I get happy. I find that I am energized and motivated and at peace when I am writing. The other stuff was filler. I am not saying I wasn’t excited and passionate when I started other things but that passion and excitement was ripped from me and caused me to really look hard at whether or not that is something I want to take up so much of my time. The answer was no. I could dig in and fight. I had the support from the ones I needed it from but it wasn’t worth it. It didn’t define me. It wasn’t something that I wanted to take time away from my family for in the long run. I stepped out of my comfort zone, out of my bubble, took a huge leap of faith and it didn’t work out. That happens. There are people who are passionate about it and do live for jobs like the one I had. I am not one of them. I support those who find their peace and purpose in it. Choosing to leave wasn’t hard in the end. I lost friends, gained new friends, strengthened some bonds and broke others.
Was it all worth it? Well, when it caused me to look long and hard into myself, my passions and my life…yes. Maybe I had to come full circle to get back to being my authentic self. I would never question that or regret it. Life may take us down painful paths, but in the end, when you find where you want to be and where you are the happiest and most at peace, your journey is worth it.
When the paper clip mocks you it is time for a break
April 14, 2008
I have been working furiously trying to get my book finished (to a point) to get to my ever patient and wonderful agent whom I worship and adore. (Yes, I am a good ass-kisser. Why?) I have been writing. And then writing. And then hitting a wall.
Want to know what is worse than writer’s block? Being mocked by that freaking paper clip in Word. I really hate it. I mean, I want to take it and untwist it and make it into obscene sculptures to send to unsuspecting successful authors who have made it through this already.
But tonight, when it mocked me? That was it. Mocked. Me.
See?
I need to get out and talk to more people. When the paper clip mocks me, it is time for a break. But the book? So much good to say about it. So much happening. But first? I have a paper clip sculpture to make!
Okay, for those of you writers out there, this is hilarious. Depending on your spell checker? Think again. It is especially for my good friend whose job it is to proofread the fun things we writers throw out there. Don’t let this happen to you. “Proofreading your peppers is of the utmost impotence!” (Warning! It is a bit risque, but nevertheless hilarious!) How did I not find Taylor Mali before now? I adore him. Listen to some of his things. They are good!
Example exerpt:
So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.
But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave out word
your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
If you have read any of my past posts, you know I love my Wii. I take it on vacation. We play it in the car. We force encourage our friends to play whenever they come over. It has been a great way to bring the family together. And not just together mindlessly staring at the TV. We are actually actively playing together.
So, when I was requested to write an article on bringing back family night, I jumped at it. I strongly believe in a family night. Where we are all in the same room. Doing the same thing. Imagine that.
Therefore, I ask that you, my loyal readers and friends show the kind people at EA that they made a good choice is selecting me to write their article on their new Wii game, Boogie and bringing back family night. Go check it out! For me. And sign up for the newsletters at Family Education, too. There are some great articles. (And I am not just talking about mine! ha!)
Pictures with the Boogie to come soon!
[UPDATE: The article is on sk*rt! Go show me some sk*rt love. You know I never self promote. Rarely self promote. Try not to self promote. Oh, what the hell. Just show me da love, baby!]
Do you know what really makes me excited and passionate and so eager to take action I can barely sit still? (Get your mind out of the gutter. I mean passion as in things you are passionate about not passion as in a Lifetime Movie of the Week.) Talking to other writers. It doesn’t have to always be about writing, but it does go there. There is a secret code, or glimmer in their eye or simply the love of words that makes it like meeting a kindred spirit.
I had the most incredible meeting with another writer on Friday. We met at a Starbucks. (Of course! I am not messin’ with you when I say I need my coffee.) I grabbed the prime corner, comfy chair set up. I was nervous when I first saw her because she is adorable and petite and young and did I mention adorable? I thought for sure she would take one look at me and think “Frumpy, dumpy Mom. This will be quick. The woman probably has no brain.”
And then we began to talk. Our short meeting lasted a little over two hours. And still, I would have sat there two more hours because I enjoyed talking to her so very much! I think she got me. She could have been faking it, but she seemed to get me. We “people watched.” Both of us had that writer mind where you see people and they are not just people having coffee. Oh no! Those two over there? Totally on a date. (We were right!) That guy over there? He’s bored and wishing he could be reading something more interesting than the business work he brought because the person he is meeting is over 30 minutes late. And that woman over there? Total Stepford. (All the way!) I mean, we could’ve had the entire life story of every person in there complete with back history of how they got there if we kept at it.
She got it.
And did I mention she was adorable and got hit on. By a very interesting older gentleman. By older, I mean grandfather or great-grandfather older. She handled it with ease and charm. *crush*
Just talking to her (and of course asking for writing leads) fueled my writing passion. I wanted to be better, do more, set the world on fire. Not because of the things we talked about as much as I loved sitting there with a career writer and being called and calling myself a writer. I immediately wanted to get more clips, do more promotion, finish my big writerly project that I have underway (or at least kick it into high gear!). In short, I wanted to be the writer she saw.
So, to you, my new found friend, thank you. And if you ever call me a PM again, it is SO ON!
