I am a woman. So what? Give me issues.
January 8, 2008
If I hear one more woman say or read one more woman write that we “as women” need to vote for Hillary Clinton because she is a woman and it is about time “to have a woman in office”, I am going to burn my bra and mail it to them. I am just as offended by any woman saying that they would vote for a person based on gender as I am a man saying do not vote for Hillary because she is a woman. Would it be good to have a woman in office? Of course. History making. Will I base a vote on GENDER alone? Hell no!
Is that how we want to vote? Seriously? Then, let’s just take all of the names off of the ballot. We shall vote Penis or NO Penis. (Dangling Chad or No Dangling Chad)
My point, any person– male or female– who would base a vote for the President of the United States based on gender (or race or looks or anything that has nothing to do with issues) really needs to re-evaluate their reasons for voting at all.
I am not Hillary bashing here. I am “Woman Power Hear Me Roar Without Looking at What Issues Are Important To ME but At Gender Alone” bashing. If Hillary stands on the issues where you would like your next president to stand, vote for her. If not, take that damn gender card and throw it out and vote for the candidate that YOU are most aligned with when it comes to ISSUES.
Vote for the issues, people. Not the Penis (or lack thereof). I work with many Democratic, liberal feminists who are very intelligent and well spoken. I have even heard a few of them say they would/should vote for Hillary in order to get a woman into office. I sincerely hope I am missing the part of that where they add….”because I agree with her on her politics.”
I don’t get into politics here on this blog. I don’t want to argue them. I am more angry about the fact that I am hearing intelligent women saying things that shock me. I am not a political blogger or a political expert. In fact, I can honestly tell you that I have no idea exactly whose ring I am throwing my hat into right now. Given a choice and having to make that decision RIGHT THIS INSTANT, I know who I would lean towards, but that is my decision. And guess what? I am basing it on the issues that are important to me. Not on woman power. (Hear me gag.)
Posted by Jenn @
5:18 pm | |
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Seriously? Stop.
November 14, 2007
Dear Stomach,
Disregard any kindness in my previous letter. I hate you. I would claw you out with my own fingernails if I didn’t think you were already trying to do the same thing from the inside.
In pain and fatigue,
~Writhing girl
Posted by Jenn @
6:54 am | |
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enough!
November 13, 2007
Dear Stomach,
We can handle this one of two ways.
Either you just empty everything you have right now and stop this cramping and teasing as I writhe in agony either on my bed or on my bathroom floor
OR
I am going to flood you with so much Pepto Bismol that you will think the Barbie Dream House vomited on you.
I am over playing nice.
Sincerely,
The Person Begging the Porcelain Goddess to make you give it up already
Posted by Jenn @
11:59 pm | |
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Bee-oring movie!
November 10, 2007
I took the kids to see the Bee Movie today.
I can never get that time of my life back. Before it was over, Brandon and I were hoping they would all sting each other and die.
Who are the critics who loved this movie? Where are they? Maybe I have been spoiled by other animated movies that cater to adults and children alike. Maybe I was lulled into the false sense that perhaps because of the amazing cast it would rock.
I will admit I might have missed something. Maybe I was not in the best animated movie going mood? Maybe I was tired? Maybe I wanted to actually see a movie WORTH the money I spent? If you liked it, feel free to share.
I came home grumpy and wanting to eat a lot of honey and swat bees just to piss them off.
So, any good movies that someone my age might like. I need to redeem myself and my movie record.
Suggestions?
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Posted by Jenn @
11:58 pm | |
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Seriously?
September 25, 2007
Dear World in General,
SERIOUSLY?! I mean really. Seriously?
Love,
Jenn
Posted by Jenn @
9:24 pm | |
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MY DVR Judges and Mocks Me
September 10, 2007
Now that the kids are in school and I have a manuscript due like yesterday and work piling up left and right, I decided to sit down and catch up on the programs I recorded with my DVR. (No, it is not a TiVo. I got the one that came with my satellite. And let me tell you this. This thing is snobby and not even a little bit kind in its opinions on what I record.)
As I pull up the menu of hours upon hours of shows, I decide on Big Brother 8. Oh, sure, I watch the live feeds (shut-up!) but there might have been something I missed or at the very least want to see how CBS edits the real deal. Midway through the show my DVR freezes. Then it turns itself off. When it comes back on and reboots (taking at least 5 minutes of my precious stalling time), BB8 has been erased. Not just the one I was watching, but all of them. (I know! I couldn’t believe the horror either.)
Being alone, I had no problem in freaking out on the DVR.
“What’s up with that? Why did you have to go and delete all of those shows? And just BB8? What’s your problem? You think you are too good to hold onto reality TV? Puhleez! You are just a DVR. And that was RUDE! What a poopy head!” (My Lessons in Maturity Classes begin next month.)
I think I angered it in my mild attempt at smack talk.
I scroll through the menu again. What other stored up, brain-rotting television do I have to watch? I decide to settle in and catch up on Army Wives. I liked the first few shows and haven’t watched in weeks. With less than 10 minutes to go in the show, the DVR again freezes, shuts off and then won’t reboot. It just glares at me. After chastising and berating it, it blinked on. Then off. And back on. Only to have erased every Army Wife program I had recorded.
Seriously? This is how it’s going to be played?
I get up and yank out gently remove the “smart card” and do what I do with any card/game/electronic device I own. I blow on it. (It is a proven fact that blowing on it fixes it.)
When I replace the card and the system takes, oh about 10 minutes to recover, I have gone from having 26 hours left of recording time to 70 hours. 26 to 70. You can do the math (I don’t do math after 9pm.) That means, my DVR chose (and yes I choose to believe it was a conscience choice) to delete HOURS that I had recorded of shows that I may or may not want to watch. I mean, I had Ellen on the Plane recorded. I had High School Musical I and II on there. I even had the a few Gilmore Girls on there.
So, what did my snobby, judgmental DVR leave me? Three episodes of Blues Clues (which by the way no one in this house watches anyway), four Suite Life of Zach and Cody episodes, and over a months worth or Days of Our Lives. (Oh, and about 18 different shows from the Discovery channel which will probably still be there after my DVR accidentally gets tossed into the street to be plowed down by the next speeding SUV or Mini-van to travel through this part of Stepford. Assuming something so tragic as that were to happen.)
Apparently, my DVR does not like reality TV, talk shows or Lifetime movies and/or series. It does however like shows for preschoolers, educational programming and SOAP OPERAS. (Please, like I can’t just watch one show of Days after a month of missing it and not be totally caught up. Here: DiMira’s bad. Brady’s and Horton’s good. At least one person is in the hospital who might die but probably won’t. Someone is pregnant (and in peril!). And at least one couple is having a misunderstanding that they just might not recover from. And that is without watching even though my DVR really wants me to!)
I glared at it.
It blinked back.
Such as smart ass.
Anyone want to set a girl up with a TiVo? I am betting they are a lot less temperamental and actually allow you to choose your own shows without interfering with your choice of programming. I hate my mocking, self-important DVR.
Posted by Jenn @
10:53 pm | |
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Did you know that you are at war, Moms? Apparently we were drafted.
August 30, 2007
And, no, I am not talking about that pesky little war in Iraq where we actually have hundreds of troops being killed in a foreign country. That only makes news when something “newsworthy” occurs because we all know a real war is such a downer to talk about. I am talking about the “newsworthy” war that we all should apparently be up in arms about. The Mommy Wars. Are you battle ready? Did you buy your fatigues and kiss your family goodbye? No? Shame on you! You are at war!
I sat down to try to write a fair and balanced report on this topic. However, there is not one thing that is fair or balanced about this media fueled war. In fact, my keyboard is whimpering in pain as I slam out these words.
Once again the media has grabbed hold of one woman’s opinion about another and simply had to exploit it into the Mommy Wars. I am so sick of this being blown out of proportion and doing nothing but stirring controversy and anger. Why don’t you report it as you really appear to consider it? “Good morning! Today we will be talking about another Rowrrrr Cat Fight between a few women. Stay tuned. We’ll take a hard hitting look at this issue after we report on this pesky Iraq situation.”
Yes, morning “news” shows, I am talking to you. Today Show? Good Morning America? CBS This Morning? I have a question for you. Who are you helping? What greater good are you serving when anytime there is a difference of opinions between at least two mothers you immediately jump on the “Ohhhhh, the Mommy Wars are in full battle mode!” and then talk about it as if all mothers are attacking each other? Is your purpose to get us fighting? Is it to make us judge each other? Or is it just so that you can get us mad enough we talk and you get the ratings? I will give you the fact that you get us talking. About you. About how sick and tired we are of being thrown into your “war” and causing strife among a massive portion of the population who quite honestly would rather find support and acceptance from each other.
Can you show me a list of the people you are helping when you are exploiting your Mommy Wars? I can certainly give you a massively extensive list of people you are hurting. Surely, that is not your intent. Is it?
I know I am not alone in my feelings of wanting to end your Mommy Wars once and for all.
A comment from techmama hits it the point many of us feel.
I also commented on another post that people seem to be missing an important point: Why does the media so quickly jump on controversial issues (by blowing it up and throwing in the word “mommy wars”) without showing other opinions? Sharing opinions is just that. Has the media covered moms in support of families staying together on the road? Or is that not news worthy? Can moms have a good debate on issues without the media or public viewing it as mommy wars?
In the comments about this issueBeth – also of Silicon Valley Moms Blog– brings up a very important point about this entire Mommy Wars topic that gets the media whipped into a frenzy.
One point that is being lost is the media frenzy about creating “mommy wars” from opinions mom have on specific issues. They don’t jump on it when moms talk about their positive thoughts - but if a mom dares share a controversial view - then they jump on it. I want to see the media share our positive messages also. I am tired of this!
Exactly! Why can’t there be more stories on support, helping one another, or the tons of support groups that Moms are involved in? Where is your story on BlogHers Act? Where is your story on Moms supporting another Mom who has cancer? Those who rally around her and are doing things to support her in her life? Where are those stories?
Is there going to be a day where every woman–every mom–agrees with each other? Of course not. If I hear another mom say that all women should work outside the home full time or they are poor examples to their children, will I agree with her? No. Does that put me at war with her? Absolutely NOT. On the other side of the coin, if I hear a mother say that every mom should stay at home with her children or they are bad mothers, will I agree with her? Of course not. Am I at war with her? Absolutely NOT.
We don’t want your “war.” We do not want to be exploited for your Mommy War ratings. Do you want to know what we want?
We want to find an even playing field where we can both agree and disagree without having the media jump into the fray and tell us we are at “war” with each other. We want to find support and learn from our different experiences. We want you to know that we don’t always have to agree with each other to still respect each other. We CAN agree to disagree without your contrived controversies and made-up wars.
Now even Katie Couric is being thrown into this and having her mothering attacked by covering the REAL war in Iraq.
In two separate segments yesterday, Fox News attacked CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric for reporting from the ground in Iraq, calling it “a desperate move” and asking if it was a “ratings ploy or legitimate journalism.”
She is doing her job. HER JOB, people. But no. It is not her job that is in question. It is her mothering.
On Your World With Neil Cavuto, guest host Dagen McDowell featured Janice Crouse of Concerned Women for America, who characterized Couric’s trip as “a clear act of desperation” by a single mother whose “priorities [are] so determined by her ambition rather than her children’s welfare.” Crouse pointedly accused Couric of being a bad mother for going to cover Iraq:
I would say the same thing if this were a man journalist going out there, a male anchor, because when you look at the choice she’s making, she’s saying my ratings are more important than my children. That’s the bottom line.“
First, there are many men journalists going out there and I have yet to read an attack on his parenting skills. Secondly, I have searched all over to find Katie Couric saying that her ratings are more important than her children and have yet to find it. Why? Because that is NOT what she is doing. Just as Elizabeth Edwards is not a terrible mother for taking her children on the campaign trail. Two different high profile mothers. Two different situations. Both being attacked for their personal choices.
I have been taken to task before for talking about the Mommy Wars here as it gives them a forum. I respectfully disagree. You won’t silence me when you throw trash at me. You are going to from hear me. And you are going to hear me tell you that you are wrong to pit mothers against mothers. Because that appears to be the goal here.
It has been noted that the reason the Mommy Wars exist in first place is because women can be judgmental and vicious to each other. Really? There’s a newsflash for you. You can title it DUH! But to add fuel to that fire and use your weapons of mass destruction against us only hurts mothers everywhere–regardless of who they are. (And trust me on this one. There are weapons of mass destruction used in this “war” and I can find them easily and show you how you are making this war worse for motherhood as a whole.)
End it. Now. It is time for mothers to just stand up and say ENOUGH. We don’t have to agree with each other. We don’t have to live the same lifestyles, make the same choices or have the same political views to work together to stop this overly blown out of proportion “war” that we did not sign up for or agree to be a part of.
Are you sick of this, too, Moms? Then let’s end it. Stand with me and tell the media to cut the crap, end their fueling of this idiocy and let us be who we are without pitting us against each other.
Because frakly, I have children to raise and a life to live and don’t have time to fight the Mommy War that the media so badly wants me to fight. I am over it. OVER. IT.
Are you, too. Share it. Speak out against it. Write about it. Tell them to cut the crap and move along to real stories. It’s what I am doing and will continue to do. Because Moms? I am not at war with you. I never have been and have no plans on enlisting.
tags: Good Morning America, Today Show, CBS Early Show, Katie Couric, mommy wars
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Posted by Jenn @
11:05 pm | |
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But I graduated!
August 15, 2007
Tonight I had one of my World Famous Anxiety Attacks. (Stop by the gift shop and pick up your souvenir mugs and hats–sponsored by the makers of Xanax.) I am talking about one of those chest constricting, can’t breathe, coming out of my skin type of anxiety attack. What was I doing when it kicked into high gear?
Filling out back to school paper work for the kids.
Wha-huh?
I am not going back to school. I do not have to take tests, write papers or deal with peer pressure. I will still be working at home. Just with less little people around.
I have a manuscript deadline and article deadlines that don’t give me anxiety attacks. I have people who need things from me everyday who do not give me anxiety attacks. Yet one night of filling out back to school paper work had me completely freaked out.
Again…wha-huh?
Is it because I am signing back on with the Stepfords again? Is it because I am volunteering in both schools this year? Is it because I thoroughly enjoy my kids’ company and really do not want them to go back to school? (Yes, I am serious. Read back at most of my back to school entries. I hate when they go back after a long time at home.)
I want to be involved with the kids and their education.
I want to be a presence in the schools–known and knowing who’s who.
I want to help out.
I do not feel like I have signed on to do too much. To be honest, I almost feel as if I need to should do more. (And we all know that is not the right decision. I am right where I should be on what I have committed to do.)
I filled out paperwork and had an anxiety attack that registered off the charts. (If these things were registered in some way.)
What. The. Hell.
Yep. That pretty much sums it up.
Posted by Jenn @
11:12 pm | |
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Live from the Land of Clutterhell
July 15, 2007
Please, please don’t make me go back to cleaning. You see, I had this brilliant idea of organizing and doing a clean sweep in the house. In. The. House. Not a room. Not two rooms. No, I took on the whole house.
Every article of clothing that is not on someone’s back, in the washer or dryer or hanging up already a verified fit, it is in the middle of our playroom floor to be sorted. Give away. Throw away. Keep. Thankfully, the “Keep” pile is small. But ALL clothing from ALL five people in the house?
And the toys? They are next. Oh for the love of all things burying me alive, who gave me this bad idea? Why? I mean, I can handle living in chaos. (No, I really can’t.) But I have been able to do it while walking in a fog induced, crazy assed mind of the past year. Do you KNOW how much clutter can accumulate in a year of fog induced craziness? Let me tell you! A LOT! As in weeping on piles of stuff, gnashing my teeth, wailing in agony and begging the almighty goddesses of clean to just zap it all away!
It is either organize or abandon the house as is and live in the van down by the river. However, seeing as I weep openly if I have to hang in a vehicle for more than a couple of days on a road trip, that doesn’t sound good either.
Where are those awesome people on those shows who do these things for me?
Okay, back to the insanity. If you don’t hear from me for a while it means the piles of stuff ate me alive and I am becoming a Zombie from the Land Clutterhell.
Posted by Jenn @
2:57 pm | |
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She had me in stitches (and knots and tears) too
June 29, 2006
So, there is actually another thing I learned on vacation. And I use the term “learned” as one would use the term “LMAO” seeing as I am pretty sure no one has actually “laughed their ass off” as I am relatively sure that I did not actually learn a damn thing. You see, my cousin’s wife is 7 months pregnant. So while the rest of the adults were all hedonistic and hell-raisers, she was calm and crocheting. Crocheting. At the beach. (I am not exactly sure what law she broke by doing that, but I guarantee there is at least one I can cite her for.)
Well, by day 5 we were rather sunburned, sun-stroked and sun-over-it in the heat of the day and decided to take a lesson in How To Crochet. Now when I was in school I knew better than to drink before a big lesson on the basics of a new skill. You miss that lecture and you are toast for the rest of the semester. But no one warned me that the lesson was going to be held. No one took away the Pina Colada before class. It was SO not my fault. And yes, I am just saying that to cover my butt in the event that I am just too stupid to get this.
I watched her wrap, loop, pull, loopy, wrapping, tucking, etc. Oh how easy it looked. I watched. I asked questions. I “learned” how to crochet. Except that she left. And I left. Now what I have managed to do is knot, furl, twist, cuss, fray and bend a crochet hook. I am thinking I not so much learned as I–monitored and got cocky.
You see, I can do one long ass row. (Do you even call it a row??) But then…THEN they expect you to turn that bitch around and go back down the other side. One time I managed to take a row (??) of 30, go back down the side and make it a third the original size when I got back to my starting place. Not so much right.
Another time I managed to make this really awesome….KNOT.
And then there was the time I made the yarn look like a cat had had “relations” with it and then beat the hell out of it.
See? Not so much “learned” as become totally and completely obsessed. To the point of walking around my house mumbling and shouting, “But HOW DO YOU TURN?! For the love of all things yarnish, HOW do you TURN?” My children are a little afraid. My husband is just protecting his privates from the wrath of the crochet hook and me. All I can ask is that if you see a crazy lady walking around the streets with a 75 foot chain of what could have been something great but is just a 75 foot long beginning of nothingness but a series of loop wrap pull loop wrap pull until she no longer cared about eating, bathing or even blogging…well, just be nice to me. And for the love of all things yarnishness, teach me how to freaking TURN.
Yeah, I know. You are laughing your ass off. Sure. And I am still “learning” how to crochet.
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Posted by Jenn @
10:15 pm | |
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