Omigod, I am SO lavendar!

December 3, 2003

Who am I to ignore the color trend seeping through the blogosphere today?

Posted by Jenn @ 2:28 pm | Comments   | | |

Hypothetically…

November 25, 2003

A bit of morning advice for you (hypothetically speaking, of course)

Let’s say that you’ve been with a person for over 17 and a half years. And let’s say that you’ve never farted in front of them before. And oh, I don’t know, you think you’re alone in the room. Let’s just say it might be best if perhaps you check the room just one more time before you let one rip.

I’m just speaking hypothetically, of course.
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Posted by Jenn @ 5:38 am | Comments   | | |

Boo!

October 31, 2003

I hope you all have a great day today. If you are going trick or treating (or the adult version of that), be careful….
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Posted by Jenn @ 1:28 pm | Comments   | | |

Have you seen them?

October 28, 2003

We interrupt this blog to bring you an important news bulletin:

Missing! My-Will-To-Do-Anything-Productive.

Upon waking this morning I found that My-Will-To-Do-Anything-Productive has vanished. It was last seen late last night as I made a long to-do list for today. A frequent companion of My-Will-To-Do-Anything-Productive is Energy. She too is missing. No note of explanation has been found. Although, evidence of their disappearance is too easily noted by the condition they left the house. It is appararent to all who enter, that we are indeed saddened over the disappearance of My-Will-To-Do-Anything-Productive. If Energy had not been a constant companion to her, perhaps the situation would not be so dire. However, with both of them missing, the situation looks bleak.

If you have seen My-Will-To-Do-Anything-Productive, please contact me immediately. Leave a message when you call, though, because chance are in the absence of My-Will-To-Do-Anything-Productive and Energy, I will probably be napping. A reward might be offered, but since Apathy has come to give me comfort, I just don’t care enough to figure that one out.

So, please, if you have seen or have any information about My-Will-To-Do-Anything-Productive and my Energy, let me know. I am not sure how much longer we can remain strong without them.

(Although Apathy says she doesn’t care if you call or not.)

Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.
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Posted by Jenn @ 5:53 am | Comments   | | |

Not you…ME!

October 19, 2003

Just a quick note to clarify last night’s post. I was actually talking about my own post, not anyone else’s in the blogosphere. I realized at 11:30 that I hadn’t posted yet. So I hopped up with a “Look, see I posted!” tongue in cheek post.

Just wanted to make sure none of you thought I meant you. Although, with as many of you thinking it might be you, it is good to know that I am not the only one out there that does that. lol
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Posted by Jenn @ 9:10 am | Comments   | | |

Tuck and Roll Grandma

September 12, 2003

Today is just a total “tuck and roll, grandma” kind of day.

WTH am I talking about?

A while back there was a commercial for some Playstation game (sorry, can’t remember which one) where they pretty much chuncked their grandma out of the car and yelled at her “Tuck and roll, grandma!” It cracked me up. I laughed until I almost peed the first time I heard it. (Granted, I was in a very silly mood and probably had the help of a drink or two, but nevertheless, it made me laugh.)

So, it became a part of my vernacular. It was a catch phrase I started to use regularly. But it was not without meaning and just for a laugh. It is pretty much a warning to look out, because the proverbial crap is about to hit that good ol’ proverbial fan. So, when it is about to get rough, I’ll just look at my Geek-Man or Kidlets and give a shout out…

“Tuck and roll, grandma!”

I needed a tuck and roll shout out today.
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Posted by Jenn @ 11:50 am | Comments   | | |

Recess…..24/7

September 10, 2003

I think one of the reasons My Geek-Man and I can stay so close during such a very hard time is because we still play. That silly, on-the-playground-at-recess play. Yes, we still chase each other around the house and laugh a lot together.

But sometimes, the games are just as silly, yet more subtle.

Take for instance this new one he started a couple of months ago.

[Sidenote: For some background about why this is a “game”. I am very particular about some things. Weird things. I become obsessive about things that are really bizarre. I admit it. Just call it part of my charm! Geek-Man totally does not “get it”. His mind is 100% logical. Reason. Facts. Proof. That’s him. Okay, back to what I was saying….]

So, he thinks it will be really funny to flip the roll of toilet paper to where the paper comes from underneath instead of on top. It just freaks me out. I mean, really freaks me out. So I flip it back and go on about my business. Only to find that later, it is back to the underneath flip. It makes me nuts! (And yes, I know this was talked about on a talk show recently. It just added fuel to the fire for him to see it and see me get all worked up proving my point that my way was right. Because of that freakin show, the game was raised a notch to a higher level, thankyouvermuch.)

I have to admit, it does make me laugh to see it flipped again. In that “you’re making me crazy, dear and will pay the price” kind of way. But really, admit it…you notice which way the toilet paper is dispensed, don’t you? My way is the way it should be done, right? Say right.

Anyway, I love that I can still play games with My Geek-Man even as everything else crumbles beneath us. We have that! We always have the laughter!
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Posted by Jenn @ 9:50 am | Comments   | | |

Did you take them?

August 18, 2003

Apparently my archives decided to sneak out for the day.
Did you see them? If you find them hiding out on your computer, let me know. I
have no idea where they went or why (or how!) In other news… I am sitting
there in a rare moment of quiet when The Diva comes up and asks for my hand.
(She has this thing where she likes to kiss my hand. Whatever.) So, I smile and
give her my hand. And she procedes to spit a chewed up blueberry muffin into in.
(Apparently, the taste did not appeal to her.) Ahhhh, the glamour of motherhood.
Don’t you wish you had my life? ***(Update: The defiant little archives came
back home. But don’t you worry! They are grounded!)
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Posted by Jenn @ 6:29 pm | Comments   | | |

Mr Joe Telemarketer…

This is a real phone conversation I had last night. *Names have been changed to
protect the annoying. Riinnnnnggg (Don’t you just love it when someone adds the
“ring” part into this? As if you would just jump up and answer the phone if it
wasn’t ringing?) “Hello?” “Hi, Mrs. Average American Home Owner, this is Joe
Telemarketer. I would love to talk to you about the benefits of refinancing your
home at this time when rates are at an historic all time low.” “Ummm,
Mrs. Home Owner? Are you there?” “Well, I think the real question is: Are any of
us really here? What if we are all just figments of each other’s imagination.
What if none of us are really here?” “Ummm, okay. Well,
we here at
We-Will-Never-Get-Your-Business-Because-We-Are-Bothering-You-At-Home-On-The-Weekend
Mortgage Company would like to offer you a chance to refinance with us. Would
you like to save money on your monthly payments with a lower finace rate?” “But
Joe, if you are a figment of my imagination, wouldn’t that question be
irrelevant?” “Ummm, okay, thanks for your time.” click Either I will
never hear from them again, or I will be getting triple the calls so that
everyone can talk to the infamous crazy lady that thinks none of us exist.
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Posted by Jenn @ 6:08 am | Comments   | | |

Did I say that outloud?

August 17, 2003

So I am in the grocery store today. I am completely
engrossed in reading the back cover of a novel in the “book and magazine”
section of the store when I hear…. *CRASH* “Jimmy! What did I tell you about
that?” from Jimmy’s apparently exasperated mother. My thinking: “My guess would
be to not do it.” It wasn’t until another woman in the aisle started cracking up
that I realized that I had actually said that. I didn’t just think it. You just
can’t take me anywhere.
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Posted by Jenn @ 6:14 pm | Comments   | | |