Barbie! I am shocked!

September 30, 2004

I have mentioned before that I am not a big fan of Barbie.  Not because I have any moral or ethical objections to her completely disproportionate figure or her amazingly vacant stare, but because frankly, she bores me.  There.  I admit it. I don’t like playing with Barbies.  As a little girl, I loved G.I. Joe.  He came with the cooler accessories like a walkie-talkie and a Jeep.  Not to mention that way cool sandpaper beard he had going and his Kung-Fu grip.  I could come up with some pretty inventive scenarios for G.I. Joe and his Jeep wheelin’, scratchy bearded self.  Barbie?  She did nothing but teeter around on her tippy toes looking vapid and like the only person in a group who didn’t get the joke.  She had clothes that I thought were pretty ridiculous.  Sometimes, just to see if it would make her cooler, I would put her in G.I Joe’s clothes, but it never worked.  Her too big boobs would prevent the cool flack jacket from closing.  Even cammo couldn’t make Barbie cool.

However -you just knew there would be a catch, didn’t you?- Gabriella loves everything Barbie!  We have Barbie toys, Barbie lunchbox, Barbie underwear and yes, even Barbie herself.  In fact, she has acquired a Barbie collection in her short little 3 years on this Earth that just may rival anything my sister, myself or any of my childhood friends had combined.  Thanks to doting grandparents, an aunt with 2 boys- who loves to buy for this girl, friends and even a temporarily insane mother, she does not lack in the Barbie department.

Which is great news for her.  For me, it means hours of hearing “Let’s play Barbies, Mommy.  Pleeeease, Mommy!” (For the record I do play with her even though I really am not good at playing with Barbies.  Our conversations usually are along the stimulating lines of “Hi.  How are you today?  I am fine.  Would you like to go to my Barbie castle?  Okay.  Good.” Usually, “Barbie’s Mom” calls and Barbie has to go home to babysit or cook or discover a cure for the common cold.  Anything to keep her from staying in my living room.  (I have to wonder why she ever comes back for more.)

Gabriella’s newest “game” with Barbie is Let’s Strip Off Barbie’s Clothes and Lose Them.  Last night I went to tuck her into bed and I swear her room looked like a brothel.  There were naked Barbies lounging around everywhere.  Some had just their tops on, some just their bottoms and many had nothing on but a smile.  (Of course, her Malibu Ken Doll was fully clothed.  I think he just may be filming Barbie porn in my daughter’s room. ) Now, I know it is natural for little kids to take the clothes off of dolls and such.  I am not stressing that.  I am not so prude that a nude Barbie is going to send me into a fit of hysteria.

What I am saying is that it can be a rather shocking experience first thing in the morning to walk into your bathroom and be greeted immediately by Spread Eagle Naked Barbie on your counter.

I’m just saying.

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Posted by Jenn @ 8:54 pm | Comments   | | |

After all we’ve been through, Sergei??

August 20, 2004

Recently we were having problems with our Voice Over IP.  (Sounds like I know what I am talking about, right?) So, when there are problems, you put in a call to the tech people, right?  And usually, the person putting in the call is the one who knows what the problem is, right?  Let’s just say that I was not the one who put in the call.  The problem was that we couldn’t receive calls.  People calling in would get a recording saying we were unavailable.  Calling out was hit or miss for the most part. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not so much.  So, I was the one home when the tech people called.  (Sidenote:  Working as a receptionist in my previous life-before kids- I knew how boring it could be and therefore started a habit of chatting up the people on the phone.  Just light hearted talk.  It makes the job easier for both of us.) This is what happened with our service calls.

**rinnnnng**

Me: “Hello?”

Tech: (with quite a thick Russian accent)“Yes.  Hello.  This is Sergei. I am your technical representative for your Voice Over IP.  I am calling to test your phone line.  Does it work?”

Me: “Well, Sergei, it certainly seems to be working seeing as we are in fact talking on the phone right now.”

Sergei:  “Yes.  Well, I will be testing your phone with several phone calls.  Yes.  To see that your phone it does keep working.  I will call you back later.”

Me: “Okay, Sergei.  I look forward to talking to you later.”

Less than 10 minutes later:

Me:“Hello?”

Sergei: “Yes.  Hello. This is Sergei. I am your technical representative for your Voice Over IP.  I am calling to test your phone line.”

Me: (getting a bit snarky with him) “I am so glad you called, Sergei.  You see, sometimes men promise to call you and you never hear from them again.  I just knew you were different than those other men, Sergei.”

He never breaks from his speech.  He pauses a bit as if unsure how to proceed or what to say, so he decides to stick with what he knows will work.

Sergei: “Yes. Okay.  I see. I will be testing your phone with several more phone calls.  Yes.  To see that your phone it does keep working.  I will call you again.”

Me: “Promise?  Don’t tease me, Sergei.  I will be here waiting by the phone until we can talk again.”

Sergei: “Yes.  Okay.  Goodbye.”

10 minutes later

Me: “Hello?  Sergei?  Is this you?”

Sergei: “Yes.  Hello. This is Sergei. I am your technical representative for your Voice Over IP.  I am calling to test your phone line.”

Me: “Sergei, darling, I thought I told you never to call me at home.  You know how risky that is for us!”

There was much longer pause this time.  I know he wanted so badly to say something.  I could just tell the way he answered me that although he was amused, he wouldn’t give in to it.

Sergei: “Yes. Okay.  I see. I will be testing your phone with several more phone calls.  I think we have isolated the problem.  I believe that the problem has been fixed now, but I will be calling again.”

Me: “Is it me, Sergei?  Did I cause these problems between us?  Just tell me and I will fix them.  We can make this work.”

Sergei: “Okay.  I will be calling one more time to make sure the problem has been fixed.  Okay.  Well.  Goodbye.”

20 minutes later

Me: “Hello? (seeing that it is Sergei on caller id) Sergei?  I was so worried.  I thought you weren’t going to call.  It’s just that it’s been so long. I missed you.”

Sergei: “Yes.  Hello. This is Sergei. I am your technical representative for your Voice Over IP.  I am calling you to tell you that the problem has been solved.  I will not be calling you again.  “

*pause*

Me: “So, that’s how it’s going to be is it?  Just like that and it is over.  Don’t I matter to you anymore?  Wasn’t what we’ve shared something special?  And now, just like that and it is over.  You’re breaking my heart, Sergei.”

Sergei: “Yes. Okay. If there are any problems again, you can just open up a new service order with [voice over IP company]”

Me: “Oh, Sergei, I will miss you so!”

Sergei: “Yes.  Okay.  Goodbye, my little phone muffin”

*click*

I laughed my ass off!  After all the straight faced (toned?) conversations and taking my snarky flirty teasing, he actually showed his sense of humor and got in the last word.

Gawd I hope my phone breaks again.  I miss my Sergei! 

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Posted by Jenn @ 11:48 pm | Comments   | | |

Gettin’ my funk on

March 28, 2004

Ways to make your son pray that genetics are not a strong driving force in his personality and own personal *funktitude:

Dance around the house (and I mean dance, baby) singing any one of these songs:

We Want the Funk
Get Down On It
Bad Girls

(Oh, right click and “Save target as…” to save my bandwidth…or Buddha will come kick your ass. Hey, it worked when he said it on his blog. I’m not above using him to get you to not suck up my bandwidth. Thanks, Buddha!)

*funktitude- the quality and/or ability to get your funk on; the attitude one possesses when actually getting their funk on (aka: dancing)
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Posted by Jenn @ 9:23 pm | Comments   | | |

Splat! Gotcha!

February 28, 2004

Remember the penguin bashing game that was all over? Have you tried the next installment? It took me a while to get the hang of it. (Give me a break! It is the weekend and I don’t have to think if I don’t want to!)

Go check it out. How did you do?

*Update: Their little kicking feet after the get…shall we say..wedged into the target makes me giggle way more than it probably should. I am so easily amused. Again, I tell you, cut me some slack. It is the weekend, you know!
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Posted by Jenn @ 12:12 pm | Comments   | | |

Lock me up, but tell me how to escape!

February 24, 2004

What have I been up to this morning while you have been busy working? Have I been productive? Done anything worthwhile? Gotten to my to-do list? In a word…No.

Since I just wasted over and hour on this…
And since I have pulled out half of my hair…
And since I missed my morning.. nap over this…
I am going to share it with you.
Torture is sweeter when passed on to friends. (Isn’t that right, Natalie, Miss Grow Girl??)

I will now lock you in your Crimson Room. Enjoy your sweet frustration. (Oh, and I did finally escape!)

(Thanks Susan. I didn’t really need that nap today. *grin*)
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Posted by Jenn @ 8:19 am | Comments   | | |

Did you hear?

December 14, 2003

Did you hear? Did you hear?

Oh, I am sure by now you have heard. I am guessing everyone is talking about it.
Celebrating.

Excited.

Rejoicing. Oh yeah, we are very thrilled here.

In case you didn’t hear the big news of the day, just read the expanded. Oh okay, read it anyway, just so I can say it again…
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Posted by Jenn @ 1:06 pm | Comments   | | |

Snow globe fun

December 9, 2003

I am not sure why, but this snowglobe totally cracked me up. Perhaps it is the sound of innocent voices screaming! lol

I saw it here first. (Hey, I am all about giving credit to these fun finds!)
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Posted by Jenn @ 3:59 pm | Comments   | | |

Lava lamp victories

December 7, 2003

Last night we went to our friends’ house. (They are one of those great “couple” friends. They have 2 kids the same ages as the boys. They have similar interests as we do. And their parenting style is very similar to ours. We get along great! They are moving. *sigh* ) So anyway, she called earlier in the day to ask if we wanted to go over to play “games”. There was a time when that would’ve sent me into a serious case of “oh hell no” and into hiding. I really used to hate getting together in a group and playing board games/card games/ any games. I avoided it at all costs. I would love to explain why, but I have no idea. All I know is that I was not above faking sick, blaming it on the kids or just starting a huge fight with my husband to avoid going. Not anymore. Now, I love it. (Is this a sign of getting older? More boring? Or just realizing that there is nothing so terrible about making a fool of yourself and having fun?)

So back to the gaming. Let me just admit up front. Trivial Pursuit + Jenn = Disaster. I suck. I freeze up and cannot remember anything. However, give me anything Pop Culture and I suddenly realize that I have a plethora of useless fact stored in my brain that, frankly, serve no purpose in life other than to be handy for a game like this: Trivial Pursuit- Pop Culture Edition. I knew it was going to be fun when I saw the game pieces. A lava lamp. A cell phone. A cassette tape (complete with the labels Awesome Mix and Make Out Tunes). And an old Atari joy stick. I think the lucky lava lamp helped. I won. I actually won Trivial Pursuit.

You just don’t understand. That is like a miracle in my book. Did I make those annoying “I won. It’s my birthday” song and dances when I did this? Nah. But I did giggle. That was worse.

I highly recommend getting this game if you too have a wealth of useless-unless-you-are-playing-a-game-like-this knowledge. Oh, and another fun Pop Culture game I have an love: Pop Smarts. Oh yeah, I can beat you at that too! Hmmm, maybe I should challenge Emily. I hear she sold her soul to Parker Brothers.

What about you? Do you have a favorite board game? Do tell! I love hearing about the new ones!
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Posted by Jenn @ 1:47 pm | Comments   | | |

The Battle rages

December 3, 2003

In all fairness to some people like Kristine and Helene, I guess I need to post something nice about Snow Miser. *grumble* There seems to be a battle over who has the better song. You be the judge. (As long as Heat Miser wins.) Come on now, his evil little attitude appeals to a lot of you. Are you a Heat Miser-ite
or are you a Snow Miser-ite?

How about just a nice little picture of the two together?

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Posted by Jenn @ 3:37 pm | Comments   | | |

Omigod, I am SO lavendar!

Who am I to ignore the color trend seeping through the blogosphere today?

Posted by Jenn @ 2:28 pm | Comments   | | |