My other love

January 12, 2004

I’ve fallen in love.

No, it doesn’t take away from my love of you-know-who. I have enough room in my heart for both of them.

My new love is so wonderful at sensing my needs and meeting them. He is so easy handle. I just tell him what to do and when, and he does it! He gets all hot at a moment’s notice. In fact, so hot, I am afraid of getting burned if I am not careful.

In fact, he is so wonderful at sensing my needs.! In fact, just this morning when I woke up so very tired from a restless night and barely able to function (it is Monday, after all), he was there for me. He had made me a hot cup of coffee and had it ready and waiting for me when I finally stumbled out of bed this morning.

Oh yes. I am in love.

With my programmable coffee pot. The perfect relationship.

Bliss.
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need.more.coffee.

January 8, 2004

Yeah, how about we don’t stand between me and my coffee today. Mmmmkay?
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I’m the what of where??

January 7, 2004

Who are you calling a whore, buddy?!?!?

Quiz
created by Polly Snodgrass.

WATER OF WATER. Pretty lady! Fair and gentle, your empathy attracts others to you. Possibly psychic, you are pure emotion and are more likely to act on feeling rather than practical thought or logic. You think that’s just fine because imagination is important. You are the Whore of Babylon with her cup of abominable things, the Medium of Endor and in the mundane world you usually make a good wife and mother. You shine when you are able to give emotional support to others.

Oh sure, it sounds all nice until you called me a whore.

I think I liked this one better:

discover what candy you are @ quiz me

At least they called me cute and sweet!

*found at Kazoofus*
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Ingnorance is blisstacular

January 6, 2004

For my kidlets and any other kids who are headed back to school after such a long break!

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Baffling the scientists, yet again

January 4, 2004

Let me go ahead and clear up something for the medical community now. If I don’t, I am sure that it will baffle them in years to come. If I don’t explain now, then after I die, and they do an autopsy, they would have to call in experts and scientists to figure out what they have found.

What the hell am I talking about?

Well, it’s like this….everytime I sit down, from another room in the house inevitably will come the cry: “Mommmyyyyyy“. Without fail. So, I have figured it out. There is some unseen device in my ass that sends out some sort of signals to my kids’ brains that forces them to involuntarily call out to me as soon as I sit down (and thus triggering the device.) I am not kidding. Sometimes, just to test it, I will sit down and then stand back up and then sit again. This usually causes some confusion in transmission, thus causing more than one child to scream for me. Now, I am not sure if this is like a sound only heard by children’s ears (like a dog whistle) or if there is some sort of sonar technology involved. It is advanced, though. It has never failed a transmission yet.

So, when I die, and the scientists are baffled, now they can know what they have found. It is my ass alarm.
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a Bud light tribute

December 31, 2003

Seeing as New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are all about the football (which is all about the beer commercials), I thought this would be timely.

I meant to post it earlier, but forgot. (Why, yes, I am blonde. Why do you ask?)

I found this over at Kathy Howe’s place and let me tell you…I laughed until I cried over these. I am not usually one to just post a link that you probably saw somewhere else, but this one was too funny to take the chance that you might miss it.

Go on. Click this. You know you want to!

(My favorite? Mr Giant Foam Finger Maker. But hey, they all made me just about pee in my pants with laughter!)
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