Is this thing on? Am I at the right reunion?
April 11, 2010
Have you ever been to your class reunion and looked around thinking:
1) How have they done so much in the same amount of time that I have done so little?
Or:
2) Why do these people look so young and I feel so old…Oh crap! I am in the wrong room! This is a 10 year reunion and OMG I am so not going to fit in here! Do I leave or just hang out and fake it?
Or even:
3) What if the don’t remember me? What if who I was and who I am now don’t fit in with my friends? Have I been so bad at keeping in touch that I am irrelevant and only made the list because ‘Hey, we have to invite everyone!’
Okay, maybe that isn’t the best analogy but it is how I feel about coming back to regular blogging. You see, I have been out of the game so long it feels weird just jumping in with a “Hey, y’all!” but at the same time, I miss blogging regularly. I miss the friendships that I have built. I miss the amazing feedback. I miss just coming here for fun and blogging and keeping it real. Here in my home I created 7 years ago. My online home. I’ve missed it.
I did what I promised myself I never would. I stopped blogging and let myself be censored by the people around me. I have always said and still stand behind the fact that I won’t say anything on my blog I won’t say to someone’s face. That will always be true. It’s just that the world has become a lot smaller.
There are people in my everyday life who would like nothing more than to see me screw up. I know more about the people around me and things they say than I let on. And out of fear of being too real, too raw or too open, I have in effect allowed those people to muzzle me.
Not anymore.
I have too many things to share. I love my blogging too much. I have made too many amazing connections. I won’t let anyone take that away from me.
So, here I am. Ready. Real. And Raw. Think you can handle it? If not, just move along so that the rest of us can enjoy ourselves and I can get back to the business of being me.
To quote one of my favorite authors and philosophical gurus, Dr. Seuss:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Posted by Jenn @
4:15 am |
My blog, my friend. My blog, my enemy. MY BLOG. Period.
September 13, 2009
I have had so many things to say but have found myself in a position I swore I would never be stuck in with this blog. I find myself needing to censor myself. I mean really, when do you ever see me put an “*” in the middle of a word so it suddenly is not such a curse word after all. I mean, really? (That is my next post but this one became too long.)
I guess it started when I found more and more people in my real life reading my blog. Now, I was outed years ago by a friend who loved the blog and shared it with friends at school. That did not bother me. They commented or admitted to reading it or just flat out didn’t care. I could be myself. That is what this blog is all about. It doesn’t bother me that people I see on a daily basis read this. I have nothing to hide. Not exactly. It is just that it becomes a one way street. They are allowed into my private life and into my thoughts but I am not privy to theirs. It seems…off balance. You can know me, but I cannot know you. That doesn’t so much work for me.
Oh, but on the humorous side of this, I did have a mom from the school who emailed me a few days ago. You see– for those of you just joining us– I am the PTA president at the school of one of my kids. Now, if you have been here for a while that statement is STILL making you laugh. I get it. I do! But this email was classic.
Dear Jennifer, PTA President,
I came across your blog the other day. (It wasn’t hard to find. You might want to think about not being so visible if you are taking on such a big volunteer role. Especially when the kid is so young.) However, I found a few posts that made me wonder how you must be feeling about your words now. These posts are not very flattering to the PTA and now you stand up as their president. It seems a bit hipocritical [sic]. I wanted to know how you feel about the PTA now and if you take back what you said now that you are “the leader” of the “Stepfords”.
From,
A Mom Out To Cause Trouble
Well, in answer to your question, pretty damn good.
Here is my response:
Dear Mom Trying to Cause Trouble,
I have two policies on my blog: 1) I do not delete a post UNLESS I have directly inflicted pain on someone unintentionally and 2) I do not say anything on my blog that I would not say to someone’s face. (Oh, and let’s throw in #3: No nude pictures. Of me.)
Thank you so much for pointing out these old posts! I mean it! It really reminds me what it felt like to be treated so badly and to feel so unwelcome. Your email helps remind me I never want to make anyone who volunteers at the school feel that way. You must be very caring to ensure that I am reminded of that bad time so that I can avoid it while I am in a position that holds at least a little bit of power.
Thank you so much for your concern and caring for our volunteers!
I look forward to seeing you at school,
~Jenn
For those of you who have been here a while, you are surely aware of what she is talking about. For those of you who are new, here are links to the horrible, awful, no good posts I wrote. Including trying to fake my own death to avoid the PTA. (Again, I am not apologetic about my words. I was working with women who were the Meanie Moms of the school and they had no problem excluding, belittling and bringing volunteers to tears.)
These posts (if you look at the year they were written) are old. I still stand by them because I was treated in a manner that I hope a PTA volunteer at the school I am active in is NEVER, EVER treated. It was a horrible time in my life and a horrible way to be treated by anyone. Now? Now I know I set myself up for mocking because of these old posts. Do I care? Sure! I already feel like an outsider anyway. However, I am strong enough to take it. I know that what I went through only made me more determined to make sure anyone who wants to volunteer is not only welcome, but praised for their work. Whether it is one hour every other month or 15 hours a week. They all matter. They ALL deserve respect. I am thankful for each of them!
So, Ms. Mom Trying To Cause Trouble, take your spite elsewhere. If you want to volunteer, you are welcome to do so. If you want to try to make me look bad? Oh, honey, I do that enough on my own and really don’t need your help, thankyouverymuch.
Anyone else have stones? Feel free to hurl them. Trust me. I can take it.
Posted by Jenn @
6:25 pm |
Back to Blogging, Back to Basics
July 12, 2009
I know after a long blogging absence most bloggers will write something like “I am sorry it has been so long” or “I missed blogging so much!” or something along those lines.
The truth?
I didn’t miss blogging.
I have been off the grid (with the exception of occasional Facebook or rare Twitter and of course I have had my weekly online column for Parenting) and it has felt good. I so needed a break from the … how do I put this? I needed a break from the drama and crap that seemed to have swirled around the mommyblogging world. (Review or don’t review. Ads or no ads. Tranparency or no transparency. Sponsorship or no sponsorship. Enough!) So, I just unplugged and enjoyed life without worrying about my site, my ranks, review opporunities etc. I just unplugged.
So what did I do?
Well, I enjoyed a week’s worth of this:
During the day I was able to relax and just enjoy the calmness of life. I was able to actually find peace here:
When it was too hot to play in the sun and surf, I hung out with these fun people:
I can’t tell you how much I needed time away from everything that was reality based. It was good for my mental health and good for me to find peace that I am going to need for the upcoming months. (Though, I am ready to go back and find my Zen on the beach again!)
If you emailed me and I never responded, I apologize. I had well over 1,100 emails when I got back and I am sure I missed more than a few. I am sorry. If I owe you a phone call and have not gotten back to you, don’t hesitate to call me or shoot me another email telling me to get on the ball. I know I have been out of touch at times that it was tough for others. But for me? It was a break I had to have!
Now? I am working my tail off until BlogHer. Which I hear is just around the corner.
That’s right. I am going to BlogHer. I figured after being there every year, how can I miss the 5th anniversary? The answer is, I can’t! There is so much going on in such a few short days. (Hello? Nintendo? Remember me and all the work I did for you? The friendships? The whole tattoo with “I heart Nintendo” just for you? Looking for your email! I’m just sayin! *grin*) Anyway, I am really looking forward to seeing some old friends and catching up. I look forward to making new friends and learning about bloggers I have only read online. And? I look forward to laughing with some absolutely amazing women. Because I have some of my best laughs while I am at BlogHer. (Are you going? Let me know!)
Until then, it is work, work, work. (And daydreaming about the beach!)
So, I am back baby. I can’t tell you how often I will blog or what I will blog about because I am taking it as it comes. Here you have it. Hope you stick around.
Posted by Jenn @
2:52 pm |
When Life Makes Blogging Take a Backseat
May 5, 2009
First, I know you want to read something fun or of substance from me. Go read (and comment) over at Mommy Madness DFW to read about my weekend freak out when I heard an explosive sound and knew my Traverse was totaled outside. Oh and remember to vote because you love me and I shall cry if you don’t. Or not. But vote anyway because you can! Then? Since you just cannot get enough of me, hop over to Parenting and read this week’s column. It involves noodles and crayons.
—
Okay, so let’s see how much you really know about me. Pick the real reason I have been too swamped to keep up with my blog this week and last.
1. The PTA is busy sucking out my Brain.
2. The Swine Flu.
3. I have been too busy working on my book(s).
4. Blog? I have a blog?
So? Which one did you choose?
My long time readers probably looked at #1, laughed and said for sure that must be the one. If you live locally or anywhere that gets news coverage you probably rolled your eyes since everything and everyone is up in arms over the Swine Flu so you may have chosen that as a default. If you are my agent, most definitely you should choose #3 and believe it with all of your heart. And many of you have read too many posts like this and knew the real reason was probably #4.
The winners? Those of you who chose….
(more…)
Posted by Jenn @
12:29 pm |
Why do I still blog after all these years and can I still love it?
February 27, 2009
I have a confession to make. This whole blogging thing has beaten me down lately. Can you believe I have been at this for almost 6 years? I can see how it has taken a downward slide lately. I was talking to an old friend of mine who mentioned that I just don’t update as often and he missed reading it. We talked about how it used to make him either laugh, think or just get a glimpse into my life. You know what? I miss that blog, too. I thought maybe I fell out of love with blogging and was ready to move on, but that just isn’t how I really feel. I really enjoy writing over at Parenting because I get a chance– the freedom– to do what I love to do: tell stories. Maybe the chance to make someone laugh or think. Or just laugh because thinking can be overrated.
I have been talking to friends of mine who have been at this for a few years as well and they have felt it, too. And it isn’t just burn out. I don’t think it is all about how much things have changed either. Though, that is a lot of it. Back “in the day” when some of us started blogging it was story telling and commenting and hanging out on each others’ blogs to share our lives and stories. SEO? What is the world was that? Reviews? That was just when we laughed at someone else’s stupid typos in a post. Blogging trips? That was when you went to another blogger’s home to visit. It was just different. It’s not like I am sitting in a rocking chair talking about the good old days and yelling at the new bloggers to get off of my lawn. Change happens. “Blogging just isn’t as easy as it used to be.”
I am at a turning point in this whole thing. I either remember why I love blogging and get to it or I play the game that the new wave of blogging has become or I quit. Well, let’s just say upfront that quitting is not an option for me. I love writing. I love telling stories. I love my corner of the Internet– cobwebs and all. But phoning it in and posting only because I am being told I have to by someone else who has no interest in my blog but in my pageviews or even just writing to say “Hey, look! I have a blog!” are not acceptable to me anymore. Write or get off the blog.
And then my dorkner-in-crime wrote such a brilliant post that I am going to cut it paste it right here.
No. Not really.
(more…)
Posted by Jenn @
12:29 pm |
