Like Gilligan but without the millionare and his wife

September 1, 2005

I love Ann Taintor! I have an address book that has many of my favorites of hers included inside it.  I check her website rather frequently to see what new and fun stuff she has added.  When I went there today, I nearly spit my coffee out laughing.  Is it because this one was just so funny I could not handle it?  Not really.  More because a very good friend of mine just endured a camping trip that had her rather nervous.  To be unplugged from the world for DAYS?  She feared the worse.

No cell phones.

No laptops.

Not a single luxury!  (Gee, like Gilligan!)

For her, I must post this.  While she camped, this is how I spent my days.

(more…)

I think this says it all!

August 31, 2005

(more…)

Java Joy for the Java Diva!

August 28, 2005

See!  I knew it!  Mommy really does need coffee!  (And you thought it was just an obsession!)

Java Joy:  Study Touts Coffee’s Benefits

Can I specifically point out this line:

Coffee not only helps clear the mind and perk up the energy, it also provides more healthful antioxidants than any other food or beverage in the American diet, according to a study released Sunday.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am off to pour myself another cup.

(more…)

I am not as think as you dumb I am!

August 23, 2005

When a patient is in ICU for any length of time, the doctors warn the family that they may experience what they refer to as ICU psychosis.  Basically, the patient may hallucinate or remember things that did not happen.  In short, they may act batshit crazy and that is considered normal.

What they do not tell you about is a condition referred to as ICU brain.  This afflicts the family of the patient.  Where there was once rather normal brain function (shutup!), there is now barely the capacity to know your own name.  On a really good day, you may know the names of your immediate family members.  Beyond that the only bit of information you can retain is your path to the bathroom and the hours of the cafeteria.  So you would think the doctors would take this into consideration when speaking to you.  But nooooo, they rarely do.  A typical conversation goes about like this:

“Hello there.  My name is Dr. Rhonsteimenflecter.  I am her Actophlembotologist.”

*blank stare*

“I am here to see how her feaganrastaligostoly is doing today.”

*blank stare*

“I’m checking her kidney function.”

Ahhhh! *click* So, you proceed to get up and move out his way so that he can do what he needs to do.  But not too far away.  You usually need to be sure to hover to make sure that he is doing exactly what he said he would do and that he does it correctly.  Not that you know what the hell that is or how to do it.  When he is finished he nods (looking at you with with a bit of pity for your poorly functioning brain) and leaves the room.

At this point, you must immediately take your seat again.  Find the same spot on the monitors that you have been staring at for days.  And you zone out.  The constant *whoosh whoosh whoosh* of the ventilator gently lulls you back into a state of a conscious mental coma. 

Then the next doctor comes in.

“Good afternoon.  Beautiful day isn’t it?  (Like we would know after being in the room all day!) I am Dr. Foreinsticonstilamatria.  I am her Hemorectifidiasticologist.”

*blank stare*

“I am here to listen to her check the levels of her hemostactostiflectoric system.”

*blank stare*

shaking his head at these simple minded family members “I am see if she still has an infection in her blood.”

Ahhhhhhh!  Again, you move so he can do his job.  And you can watch.  And make sure he is doing it correctly.

In light of how little we can actually comprehend after sitting in that room day after day after day, I am considering posting a sign on the door:

“Warning!  Visitors in the room are not as intelligent as they may appear.  Please speak slowly in laymans terms.  And use small words.  Your consideration in this matter is greatly appreciated!  ~The Family”

Good, no? 

(more…)

Thank you

I am seriously blown away by how many of you have emailed me, commented or called me.  I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.  Honestly, it means a lot to me!  The good news is that Mom is showing improvement!  She is responsive and her breathing is getting much better.  She is, however, still critical.  But, it is wonderful to see her smile when she hears my voice or to see her respond when one of us tells her to squeeze our hands in response to a question.  The doctors are more optimistic than they were.  (And we all know how they hesitate to show optimism when a patient is critical.) So, things are looking better.

We are all trying to get sleep and eat healthy meals when we can.  I heard a long time ago that you can tell if you have a well balanced meal with the major food groups represented if it is colorful–not all white and bland.  I am happy to say that I must be eating a VERY healthy diet.  In fact, most of them are very colorful.  M&Ms and Diet Coke have a lot of colors represented.  See!  I am taking care of myself!  *grin*

Again, thanks for your kindness.  It helps me more than you know!

(more…)

Holding my mother’s hand

August 19, 2005

This is going to be brief, but I wanted to let you know that blogging will be light for the next few days.  My Dad called me back to Houston to be with my Mom.  She is back in ICU in critical condition.  Basically, she is just so weak that she is having a hard time healing.  Right now, her she has had congestive heart failure.  Her kidneys are not producing like they should.  She has in infection that they cannot find, but it is causing a fever and her blood count to be off.  She has some congestion in her chest partly from being on a ventilator for so long.  And she had high acidity in her blood, so they were giving her transfusions.

Sounds like I almost know what I am talking about.  I don’t.  We have heard for a month that “Oh, things are looking up.  She is looking better.” Every doctor has said the same little thing.  Finally, it took one doctor to sit down and and really give us a big picture of how she is doing.  Sure, some numbers look “better” on some days, but are still not good at all. She is still very critical.  If she had one of her systems with problems, it would be tough.  Having so many of her systems with so many problems, it is making it a tough recovery.  The doctors are peddaling as fast as they can to get her stable.  They have been trying to wean her off of her ventilator, but she is not doing well with that.  It is just so hard for her right now to fight so many things that are making her so very sick.  And she is just so tired.  Thankfully, they have her rather sedated, so she doesn’t seem to be scared or suffering.  That is the most comfort in all of this.

As for me, as soon as I got the call to come, I went into “robot-mode.” You know the type.  Super organized.  Anal about details.  Making sure that everyone else is taken cared of and that there is a schedule so everyone knows where everyone else is.  You need to figure out the logistics on who goes to the hospital when?  Call me.  You need to figure out who sleeps where? I’m your gal.  Having a tough time coping and need a shoulder to cry on?  Come to me.  I am a rock.  And trust me.  This works right now.  But later, look out.  I am sure I am going to blow.  For now, just let me be the one that has the armor.  It works for me.  (I think.)

I only cried once and that was when I was holding her hand.  I am wearing a ring that used to be hers, but she gave it to me on my sweet 16th birthday.  I loved and conveted that ring as long as I could remember.  Looking down at my hand on hers, I swear my hand looked just like her hand from my youth.  The hand that soothed my brow when I was sick.  The hand that held mind when I was scared.  The hand that reassured me when life threw me a curve.  To see my hand looking so much like hers just broke something in me.  And I held her hand tighter, told her how much I loved her and hoped with all my heart I was able to be there for her like she has always been there for me.

I don’t know what is going to happen.  I don’t know where this is going.  I don’t know if I am here to encourage her to fight to get better or if I am here to say goodbye.  I just don’t know.  For now, I am just here to soothe her brow, hold her hand when she gets scared and reassure her through this horrible curve that life has thrown her way.

(more…)

What have I done?

August 15, 2005

Forgive me, Internet, for I have sinned.  I feel I must come clean with something I did last week.  You may shriek in horror.  You may even turn your back on me for my horrific act.  But I still feel I must be honest with you.

Last Friday, I went to a…..PTA meeting.  BUT WAIT, it gets worse.  I showed up a half an hour early to help the Hospitality Chairperson set up and make coffee.  AND (yes, there is more) when the sign-in sheet was passed around, I signed it.  With my REAL name and REAL number.  I know. I know.  The horror of it is almost too much to comprehend.  Yet, sadly, there is even more to my sinful ways. 

After the meeting, I joined one of my good friends (A Stepford in denial- who will be called out by name if she outs me again) while she was talking to other board memebers.  I knew it was going to happen.  That damned introduction.  I stammered and stumbled and finally admitted my name was Jenn.  The woman cocked her head to the side and asked for my last name.

PANIC.  P.A.N.I.C.

Before I knew it, I told her.  I TOLD HER MY REAL NAME!

I know.  I know.  I am ashamed of myself, too.  Not only did I put myself out there, but I know that this will make my participation in the PTA Protection Program null and void.  What, oh what have I done?  (In my defense, most of the board is either people I get along with or people in new positions.  I mean, it could be different.  Right?  RIGHT?!!)

I knew that throwing myself on the ground and faking my own death was the smarter move. Now…well, now I can only accept that I have been marked a target once again for PTA volunteering.  UNLESS, they are blog readers.  Then, there isn’t a chance in hell they would ask me back! 

(more…)

Update on Mom

August 6, 2005

I want to thank so many for you for emailing me asking about my Mom.  I appreciate the kindness you have shown me.  I wanted to go ahead and update you all here as well.

The Thursday before BlogHer Mom went from ICU into a private room.  She was looking good, so they felt comfortable with the move.  However, her body was just not healing like it should have.  I am sure that her MS is complicating the healing process.  So, they moved her back to the ICU.  It appears that what is good for her heart/lungs is making her kidneys freak out and what is good for her kidneys is freaking out the heart/lungs.  They are trying to get it to a point where all of the treatments work together to heal her.

She has been in the hospital for over 2 weeks.  Right now, she is not even wanting to eat anything.  I am sure she is getting depressed over still being at the hospital and in ICU.  I don’t blame her.  But not eating is not going to help her heal!

I cannot describe the frustration in me of being so far away.  If I were living closer, I could visit her.  I could sit with her and hold her hand and try to help her through this.  I am not miracle worker and don’t think that my being there will miraculously cure her.  In fact, if I am totally honest I would have to admit it would do me a lot more good than it would her.  I hate not being there.

But I cannot be there.  My kids start school next week.  My responsibility is to be here with them and get them ready.  To be here for their first day of school.  To buy them new shoes and school clothes and go to open house with them.  My priority is to my kids right now.  My heart is torn in two.

The daughter in me wants to race back to my Mom and curl up in bed beside her and help her.  The mother in me needs to be here for my children and share in all of the back to school things that come up.  To share the excitement and fears.  To answer questions and calm their nerves.

I would be by my Mom’s side as fast as I could get there if they told me to be there.  I have amazing friends here who have already offered to watch my children and keep things flowing if I had to leave.  So, I know I don’t have to worry about the logistics if I need to leave.  I just wish it wasn’t an issue.  I wish I could be there.  *sigh*

So, that is where things are now.  Thanks for your support and caring.  It means a lot!

(more…)

She rose from the scrap pile and SHE LIVES!

August 5, 2005

I cannot believe I did not share with you the MIRACLE!  You must know this!

Remember how I did not want to let go of my Moto? In fact, I was too heartbroken to consider that?  And even after the specialist in the field of bringing back dead Moto’s wrote me a letter of condolence? Everyone said to let her go.

But alas…a Christmas summer miracle. 

SHE LIVES!

Back from the depths of “scrapped for parts” hell, she is here with me and as good as new.  And when I say “lives”, I mean all of my phone numbers, all of my photos and even my cute little background.  My Moto has returned.  Original scratches and all on her.

Even the Tech God Of Motos could not believe that she stuttered forth with a strong “Hello Moto” after weeks of being dead and silent.

Never come between a caffeinated woman and her Moto, people.  They have a bond. (I actually typed “bong” there.  Maybe with my cell phone love it should say “bong”, huh!)

(more…)

Updates and info

July 29, 2005

First, thank you so much for all of the emails and comments and calls asking about my Mom.  I love you guys.  It really means a lot to me how so many of you reached out to me.  Thanks.  Mom is doing better.  She is out of ICU.  She is still having some problems, but hopefully they will work themselves out soon.  Her kidneys are still not functioning as they should.  Yesterday, she had a slight fever.  They are watching her closely, but she is stable and improving.  It broke my heart to leave.  But, the doctors, my Dad and my sister all feel it is okay for me to leave for the weekend.  Please keep her in your thoughts or prayers or whatever you do when someone needs a bit of extra strength and help to get through.  I appreciate it. I will update you as I get information.

But, after much stressing, many phone calls and emails and the okay from my family, I have decided to go ahead and go to BlogHer this weekend.  I need the break.  And, the fact is, if I need to get back, it would take me the same amount of time to fly from California as it would to drive back to Houston from Dallas.  Soooo, after a lot of pushing from my sister and Dad, I agreed to would take the weekend to try to catch my breath.

For those of you going, I am usually not sporting these huge, ungodly black circles and bags under my eyes.  And the constant chatter?  Yeah, that would be stress induced mania with a hint of sleep deprivation.  And the wrinkled clothes?  Well, those are just because I still suck at packing.

(more…)