Scary than Friday the 13th. More real than Survivor. It’s Bib!
August 7, 2008
You thought I was kidding when I said I was afraid of the Michelin Man. I was so not kidding. In fact, thanks to the amazing photographic talents of my good friend, lawyermama, the moment that I tried to overcome my fear was caught moment by moment on film. Below the image collage is a play by play of the moment–with my personal commentary on each photo underneath the set.
Do not judge me. Or I will sent Bib to your house to…under inflate all of your tires. And that is BAD!
(photo set courtesy of lawyermama–who totally rocks!)
So here is the image by image captions:
1- Go ahead and put your hands out, Bib. I am not coming to you.
2- Okay, I will come, but I won’t like it.
3- LOOK! I am grabbing hands with you and you are not trying to smother me with your white rolls of Bib horror!
4- Awwww, see! I can hug you. I am totally okay.
5- Oh My Gawd! I hugged you! I have to go. NOW. YOU STAY!
6- Please save me! Don’t let him get me. Oh, the horrors of the puffy Michelin Man! Save me!
7- You people are horrible to traumatize me like this! I want my mommy.
8- Okay, seriously. I am not crying. There is something in my eye.
9- Well, maybe it was a little funny. See? Totally trying to laugh about it. (Still? NOT FUNNY!)
So there you go. I have outed myself as a total freak when it comes to the Michelin Man. Deal with it. At least my tires are fully inflated AND I got to drive like a professional driver on a closed course with Raymond.
Oh, and as a token of good will, I have and will keep my Bib (Michelin Man) keychain on my keys to remind me of our moments together. (Not like I will forget.)
Friends don’t let friends IM after midnight. Or do Wii?
June 13, 2008
I don’t sleep well at night. So sometimes I get online and find people to talk to. Some are okay with it. Some play “IM dead” and pretend they are not there rolling their eyes.
One of my favorite late night chatters is my totally awesome and completely cool roomie for BlogHer ‘07 and yes again this year for BlogHer ‘08 (cause I didn’t scare her off!) is Busy Mom. Yes, she does have a real name. She can tell you herself. The sad thing is? She has WiiNis envy. (rhymes with another phrase and is pronounced wee-nus envy.) It is happening all over the country from people who are without a Wii.
This woman is living totally old school. Like make you want to weep and donate to the cause old school. Check out how pathetically old school Busy Mom is and how she needs to step at least into the 21st century but definitely into this decade. See? Total WiiNis envy. (Or is it WiiNis Envii?)
This is one of our late night conversations. And, yes, the silly had hit but the fun stuck around.
Me: I wrote a post: “I Wii Pii’ed myself when - got my Wii Fit”
BusyMom: Hahahaha!
Busy Mom: Charge the family a Fii to use it, money problem solved
12:03 AM me: Good idea for Mii
Busy Mom: Or, you could just let it Bii
me: Drop PiiTiiA and Bii Frii
I Sii
12:04 AM Busy Mom: Hii Hii Hii
me: Gii you are funnii
Busy Mom: Tii Hii, humor is Kii
12:05 AM me: We will get you a Wii this summer. I will buy thii a Wii to play. I can Sii you are Kii to the lovah of thii Wii and will Bii Frii to send Thii a Wii
12:06 AM Busy Mom: Whoopii!!
me: Yeah I am done. Out. Finii
Busy Mom: LOL
12:07 AM me: Have wii crossed the line into crazii? Because if wii shared this, they would sii that wii are wacked crazii
Busy Mom: Li’lol Mii?
me: My brain doth exploded
12:08 AM Busy Mom: My screen is all gooii, thanks
me: Now go! Work. I need to sii about deadlines for mii also.
Busy Mom: If it were graded, I’d get a Dii
me:Bii Good!12:13 AM Busy Mom: Okii Dokii!me: Nite sweetieSweetiiSwiitiiBusy Mom: Hii, Hii, Mwah!12:14 AM Busii Mom, over and outme: Mommii needs coffii out
I do not know why some of you ignore me when I IM you late at night. That is kind of rude. Look at the fun you would have chatting.
Crazy is as crazy does videos and speaking of crazy, Mommybloggers is back and rocking the ‘Net
January 27, 2008
I have been sent a few links to “interview videos” this weekend that are awesome. I want so badly to share every one of them with you because with the exception of one that was serious, you would so get a kick out of the crazy! I love the crazy. Especially the couch jumping, I am out of my mind crazy kind of crazy. The things you can find online boggles the mind.
But, I will refrain from the video overload and just show you this brand of crazy.
If for some reason you have been living under a rock and missed the parody of the Tom Cruise Scientology Video, here is Jerry O’Connell doing a “it is so good it is scary” imitation.
—
In other news, Mommybloggers is back and rocking the house. We have not officially relaunched as we have much to do, but you will find new content, new writers and new newness there. When we are ready to officially relaunch, we will let you know. It is a blast and we want you to enjoy it, too. Have ideas? Interested in being featured? Know a blogger who really wants to be a part of this? Feel free to send what you have in mind to me at jenn@mommybloggers.com I look forward to hearing from y’all.
Now scoot on over there to Mommybloggers and welcome Crystal aboard. She is awesome and has become my right hand woman. (And let Jenny know you miss her and blow her kisses as she asked to be on hiatus from the site for a while.)
You will slowly see the new writers and new features as we roll them out. So to speak. We aren’t really rolling anything over there. It is all legal.
Global Belly Laugh Day and Mom’s Birthday. What a match!
January 24, 2008
Today is my Mom’s birthday. This day usually hits me harder than the anniversary of when she died. I suppose because birthdays celebrate life. And my mom? She was so very full of life! She and laughter went hand in hand. Two years ago I was at a stage where I was searching for signs–any signs– that things would get better. That I could remember her life and not crumble into dust and blow away. It was around that time I got a wonderful email addressing that issue.
January 24, 2006 was the first celebration of the great gift of laughter. In June, 2005 I thought we celebrate love, give thanks. Why don’t we celebrate the great gift of laughter? Thus Belly Laugh Day was born. A day to celebrate past laughter and connect with positive laughter.
Yes, my friends, today is Global Belly Laugh Day!
On January 24, at 1:24 p.m. (local time)
smile, throw your arms in the air and laugh out loud!
It makes me smile that on my Mom’s birthday there is a real holiday (It is legit and actually listed in the 2008 Chase’s Calendar of Events published by McGraw Hill.) A day for laughter on the day one of the funniest people I know was born? Perfect.
Many thanks to Elaine for emailing me every year before this event to check up on me, tell me she is thinking of my mom on her birthday and to remind me to laugh. (I will be!)
Will you laugh with me? I could use the company. Join me! At 1:24pm (your local time) I want you to join in with me and throw your arms in the air and laugh out loud. Who cares who is looking. Laugh. They will join in. Maybe they will be laughing at you, but they will be laughing!
Now in case you just need a good laugh, rather than tell you a knock-knock joke, I will share this. Now come on…this should make you at the very least giggle.
Because if I wet my pants laughing, you should, too
January 10, 2008
Okay, I did first see this on Ellen and then proceeded to laugh until I cried. I may have even wet my pants a little. My kids, however, looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Seriously? I mean who doesn’t see the humor in this? They really didn’t think it was funny. (If you don’t, I would ask why, but my bigger question would have to be…are you okay?) However, when I went to YouTube to find it, I realized due to time restraints, Ellen only showed the blue team competing. This shows both teams in this fierce battle to snag the winning marshmallow.
Cannot. Watch. Anymore. I still laugh and cry each time.
Funny? Not funny? Seriously funny.
The tongue guy on the blue team? Chasing the marshmallow? I have no idea what is going on, but adding my own commentary to the action makes it even funnier. But then again, I like to add my own dialogue on Kung Fu movies as well. And especially like doing that on Ninja Warrior. (Here is a sample of the excitement that IS Ninja Warrior.) Why? Because I am easily amused!
There you have it. My dark secret. I add my own verbal subtitles to shows that are not in English. Because I can.
Have you seen the sites You Knit What and You Knit What 2? Crafters? Knitters? People who like to mock others who wear hideous hand made clothes?
Because if you like to mock the hideous, you will love this. Am I crafty? No. Can I even think about knitting anything? Not so much. Did I have a blast mocking these things with the women who write this site? Abso-freakin-lutely!!
This is just a sample of what you will be getting:
Edited to add:
How can I not add this when I have a DoberButt living here in my very own house? Oh, I am SO going to have to knit find someone who knits to make this one for him! And yes…in pink because he needs to be brought down a level or two.
They (the all knowing ‘they’) say that women use about eleventy-hundred more words a day than men do. (Give or take a few.) This just proves it.
I am pretty sure this video depicts my husband. No, it does not look at all like him. Sound like him? Abso-freakin-lutely. In fact, now that I think about it, I am pretty sure he has pulled this one on me before. Are you with me, ladies?
Morning prayers and worship at the holy house of Starbucks
November 27, 2007
My day usually starts like most people. I beat the alarm clock until it stops telling me to get up. I stumble out of bed and blindly find my way to my coffee pot. I wait with eyes half open (a full roll of paper towels makes a great pillow, by the way) and then try so hard to be a functioning adult. But really, that starts about 2 cups into the coffee. Who are these perfect coiffed and made-up women who drop kids off at school at 7:00am with a smile on their face? See? Stepford because, honey, that is not right. And if you happen to have a conversation with me in the morning, it goes about like this one:
~~~~~~
(We were talking about other people’s lack of planning becoming our emergencies and how we end up holding the bag.)
Me: I made a big buck once. I spent it on a big coffee. It was awesome. Now I make chump change and spend it on….well, coffee. So, either way…woohooo.
Her: Coffee rules either way!
Me: Let us take a moment to appreciate the glorious beauty that is coffee in all of its holiness.
Her: /angels sing/ /bows to the altar of half and half/
Me: Let us pray: Our java who art in Starbucks, hallowed be thy name. Thy caffeine come, thy work be done at home and in the office. Give us this day our daily caffeine. Forgive us our late nights as we forgive those who kept us up late. Lead us not into half caff and deliver us from caffeine free. For thine is the java, the jolt and the caffeine rush forever. Amen.
Her: Did I ever tell you I discovered a hidden Starbucks just yards from my office? Yep, pretty much just around the corner, never knew it was there.
Me:They hid a Starbucks from you? Sounds like you need to demand free coffee from them!
Her: It was a sight to behold when I figured it out.
Me: I would have wept. Openly.
Her: I weep openly every time I had over my debit card.
Me: Tis true. Outrageous prices. (Yet, I still go!) Oh and this seasonal type coffee? What is up with that. SO wrong! My Dulce de Leche Latte being seasonal? SO not right. In fact…very wrong! Wrong. Bad wrong.
Her: Indeed, but, I’ll have you know I haven’t touched a pumpkin spice latte all season. I’ve never had a Dulce de Leche, but, I hear that some stores can make some of the seasonal stuff all year long, you just have to ask. PSL not one of them, requires a special mix. I admit to being the nerd who reads this: http://starbucksgossip.typepad.com/
Me: Nerd? No way! I am all over that one! I ask at every single Starbucks I go to–and that is many and all over Texas–if they can make me my Dulce de Leche. I even ask them to fake it for me. They never do. I mean, come on! How hard is it to fake it? Give me a break.
Me: It was their most popular coffee ever and they decide to go seasonal? Totally wrong and very wrong and just wrong.
Her: Totally harshed your mellow, did it?
Me: Totally. I tried other ones, but none can satisfy me like my Dulce did.
Me: Seriously, there are very few people I could have this conversation with who would not run screaming. This– THIS is one of the reasons I love you, man!
Her: What? This isn’t normal? Oh, my. I have some ’splainin to do to some other people, then.
Me: Normal is merely a setting on the dryer.
~~~~
And this is what you get if you catch me before 9:00am. Coffee talk. Coffee obsession. Coffee prayers and worship. But really, I do know how to talk about other things.
Cannot pull free of the tractor beam that is Nintendo.
Must. Stop. Playing.
But not really.
I had to take Gabrie into the doctor today. (Possible kidney issues. We hope not. Think good thoughts.) So, anyway, the doctor walks in after we had been talking and playing for 20 minutes and had JUST THEN picked up our DSes (DS’s? DS lites?) and began to play. Gabrie barely looked up. I just held up my index finger in the “Wait just a second gesture” and said, “I’m almost done with this surgery. [on my DS Trauma Center: Under the Knife] One sec.” Stitched the guy up and looked up at the (real) doctor.
For some reason he looked a bit baffled? Confused? Appalled? Whatever. We were entertaining ourselves. I mean, we had already read in the most current issue of People magazine available that Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake had broken up. We needed comfort. What were we to do?
We Nintendo’ed out.
Now, I am off to save more lives in Africa.
(Did I mention I got the Trauma Center game for the Wii for my birthday? Need medical help? Feel free to call on me. Though tomorrow, I will be rockin the house with Mario and Co.)
You say it’s your birthday! It’s my birthday, too!
November 7, 2007
A “dear friend” of mine, sent this to me today and it totally cracked me up. I had to share it with you and all of my Scorpio friends who have had recent birthdays. (Ahem…Jen, my– soon to be partner in crime– in a super awesome project. And Mrs. Kinder.)
[Update: And I could never forget one of my good friends who celebrates tomorrow. Happy early birthday, Rob!]
I am off to shop and do other things. I will mention the other things later. Have a great day!
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