So, after five years of BlogHer and being blessed enough to have attended all five, I realize you can always walk away from this conference having learned something.
1. Really? It doesn’t matter what you wear because people will forget unless you show up in a wedding dress or naked. Both will get you cheers and looks. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin, whatever clothes you have on will work. Most importantly, wear comfortable shoes. No matter how cute your new shoes are, you will hate them at them end of the day if your feet are bloody and blistered.
2. Decide in advance what sessions you want to attend because when you decide ten minutes before it starts not only will you probably get lost trying to find it but when you do get there, it will probably be standing room only. If that occurs, do you really want to be the woman who freaked out from claustrophobia and ran screaming from the room. Not that it actually happened that way but I did have to leave at least one because OMG I know there was just not enough air that room for all of us.
3. Take care of yourself. If that means going to your room for quiet time or sitting outside to catch your breath (because everyone else seems to have stolen the air) or just meeting friends in a quiet place to talk. It is so easy to get overwhelmed. It is okay to just say no.
4. Unless you can clone yourself (and please don’t because there were so many people there already, y’all!), you cannot be at all places at all times. It is okay to miss some things. Live in the moment and you will have more fun and take so much more away from this amazing conference. You make it what you want it to be.
5. Sometimes you find yourself texting your roommate (and/or friends) non-stop saying “Where are you?” It is perfectly okay to lojack your roomie for simplicity in finding them in a crowded hotel. (Oh,sure, Busy Mom(The Original) says that borders on stalking but what does she know? She is still chipped just in case. I think her words were “It’s not stalking. It’s an intimate friendship.”) And? You may be surprised that every time you turn around the same person is there. It’s all good. Hug them. I am pretty sure Soapbox Mom was not stalking me. Or was she? Either way, we got about a million hugs in over the course of the weekend. Now, I miss not seeing her.
6. This conference is HUGE. A hotel with 1500 women is overwhelming. However, do not be afraid to go up to a blogger you admire and want to meet. Whether you have 11 readers a day or eleventy-hundred, we all like meeting new people. In fact, when I got on the elevator one day, I ran into Ree. She had the same shell shocked look most of us did. I asked her if she was overwhelmed with people talking to her and coming up to meet her. She said there really weren’t that many people who did just come up to introduce themselves. Luckily, I have no boundaries and had no problem gushing at her.
7. I always thought that Liz of This Full House was hard to understand because of that think Joisey accent. It turns out that is not the case. It is because she probably has a brownie shoved in her mouth. And? She may be losing her hearing because everytime I opened my mouth she replied with “What?” And we all know I do not have an accent at all. It must be her.
8. Maria and V (@veepveep) only seem scary. I mean, just because Victoria said she would cut me about a hundred times and Maria pulls no punches when she talks to you, they are awesome. If you did not meet them, you need to. They probably really won’t cut you. But you may get a weird package from UPS from V. Don’t open it. I’m just sayin’.
9. If you are going somewhere on a big bus meant to carry a lot of people and find it is too full for just a few more, jump on the chance to take the smaller Dork bus. Had I not done that, I would have missed out on meeting Miss Britt in person for the first time who in turn introduced me to Adam who is really a nice guy. (Shhhh, don’t tell!) As well as laughing with the other super cool Dork Bus mates. (Dork Bus Mates: Send me your urls so I can link you. My brain is too fried and I am too sick to look. And lazy. And a dork.) We had a blast laughing on that trip to Ford.
And one more for BlogHer ‘10:
10. Jory, Elisa and Lisa work really hard with an amazing staff to pull off an incredible conference. For you. Did you thank them? You should. Did you thank the staff? You should. Did you especially thank Lori Luna? If not, bow down and thank her with every ounce of thankfulness you have. She is a miracle worker and an advocate for you if things go a bit haywire.
I learned more but I know that all the cool kids do Top Ten bullet points so I have to stop. And there was so much more to say. Maybe later. Or not. I will have to think of 10 more things.
Guest post: An exclusive interview with Jenn’s arm
July 28, 2009
Hi! I am Jenn’s arm. Jenn is sleeping off BlogHer so I am guest posting for her. I sort of don’t have her permission to be posting here, so let’s keep this between us. Jenn has wonderful things to say about the amazing weekend that was BlogHer but trying to get her to form a coherent sentence is impossible. So when I was approached by “Oh No You Didn’t” Magazine to do an exclusive interview regarding the “swagontrovery” of BlogHer09, there was no way I could resist. Just don’t tell Jenn. She doesn’t want me to discuss it. And really don’t tell her I took over her blog. Thanks! Jenn will be back tomorrow to post.
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ONYD: So I have seen you around the Interwebs on Twitter and on blog posts. I must say, you’re not very attractive.
Jenn’s Arm: That was rude.
ONYD: I thought that was the point. My bad. Okay, so I have heard several versions of what happened to you. One blogger went as far as to say that those marks are you look like a result of shooting heroin. What do you have to say about that?
ONYD: Okay, so tell us in your own words what happened.
Jenn’s Arm: I was just hanging around when Jenn decided to go into the Expo area to actually talk to vendors. Apparently the eyes were not on the job because that place was packed. So, there I am just minding my own business when Jenn decides to go and do something dangerous and reckless like stop and carry on a conversation with a vendor about their product. I mean really! Who actually stops to talk to these people?! Grab and go! But no. As she stood there talking intently and was obviously not being rude or quick about it as she should have been, someone grabbed me from behind to get to the vendor’s swag.
ONYD: Wow! That must have been some rare or expensive stuff.
Jenn’s Arm: Not really. It might have been a bag with a pen or mouse pad or a sample of detergent in it.
ONYD: And that one person did that to you?
Jenn’s arm: No. The top bruise happened on a separate occasion from the one where you can clearly see the outline of the fingers that grabbed me. So, Jenn let me get marred so she could carelessly learn about a product she was unfamiliar with or carry on a conversation with some vendor. I mean, she could have used that time to let me grab stuff and elbow people out of the way. But, no. She just let me hang around.
ONYD: Did you see who did it?
Jenn’s arm: I am an arm. I don’t have eyes.
ONYD: You’re doing an interview.
Jenn’s arm: Shut up.
ONYD: Okay, moving on. Are you mad? Is Jenn mad?
Jenn’s arm: Jenn is not mad. She is heartbroken. Absolutely heartbroken. This put such an ugly light on a weekend that meant so much to her. She is sad. She is just very sad over behavior she saw, the backlash of it and what it has done to a community she truly loves with all of her heart. I feel bad for her heart, actually. You can’t see the marks on him like you can on me and they are deeper and longer lasting.
Am I mad? Oh, heck no! I am famous!
ONYD: Famous?
Jenn’s arm: Absolutely. I had paparazzi all weekend. My photo was taken more than Jenn’s. In fact, I have been approached for a book deal.
ONYD: No way! A book deal?
Jenn’s arm: Yeah. I even have a title. “Boom Boom Pow:An Expo-Say On the Quest for Swag” What do you think? Get it? Expo as in the Expo hall and Say as in I am saying what happened? Get it.
ONYD: Now you’re the idiot.
Jenn’s arm: I think this interview is over. Any last questions?
I do not want you to get the impression that I went to BlogHer and that one horrible blogger’s comment made it a bad experience for me. (And can I just say how much your comments and emails meant to me. Wow. You are the best readers ever! I mean it!)
This year’s BlogHer was probably one of the best. Any drama was saved for someone else’s mama. I stayed away from it and it stayed away from me.
I did learn some wonderful things at BlogHer. I shall now share them with you.
Trolley Cars are perfect for amateur pole dancing.
Okay, and here is where I confess something. Bib? The Michelin Man? Well, he sorta scares the crap out of me. After a traumatizing encounter in the vendor area where I ran from him and hid behind other vendor tables, I thought we had made peace. Not so much. Sunday…he came racing out of a building to get me again. Okay, he is all puffy and nice and would never hurt anyone. Or so they tell me. But look at my expression. I am SO NOT kidding around here. Go. GO AWAY BIB! (Matt? I do adore Matt. Not Bib.)
(Look! He comes racing out all “happy” and check out Mr. Tire Man all pointing and laughing.)
Of course no BlogHer is complete without a Jennster groping.
I even tried to steal myself a new baby but his mother (Julie of Mothergoosemouse) insisted that I give him back. She said the whole “finders keepers” and “calling dibs” totally does not count with her baby. Bummer because I totally fell in love.
Now don’t we make a cute couple?
And finally we end with a quiz for you. Watch the video and answer the question following.
What are we doing?
A) Being held captive by a minion of Bib’s.
B) Learning how to get our kids to school on time under any circumstances.
C) Who cares? Raymond was driving.
D) All of the above.
So that is just some of the hilarity that ensued at BlogHer this year. I have a post about the amazing things that blew me away coming up later today, but I thought after the previous post we could all use a laugh and real evidence that I had a blast.
(Disclaimer: To those who went to BlogHer and felt that in anyway they were snubbed, hurt or brushed off by me, please email me. I was overwhelmed. I mean between my adhd and my anxiety, there were times that I had to mentally shut down. And, yes, there were times that I would be having an amazing conversation with you and then BLAM I realized that what blog you wrote for. I was just enjoying talking to you and it did not click! I just liked you. So I ask you in all sincerity, if I hurt you or made you feel badly in anyway, please email and tell me. I never, ever want to make anyone feel hurt or upset by me. I really am not a bitch. I am just too emotional and get overwhelmed too easily. With over 1,000 brilliant minds and women there, it is hard to not take it in and absorb all of that energy. So when I was barreling down the hallway, it was tunnel vision in survival mode. Forgive me. But please let me know!)
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I can’t tell you the number of times I have opened and closed this browser trying to find the right words to talk about BlogHer. I am not sure there are any that will capture what this year meant to me. I am a four-timer, so I have all of the conferences to compare it to. I can say that I walked away from this one with the most positive attitude and best experiences of any of the BlogHerCons that came before.
This year I went with an attitude that i would take care of myself and have my own agenda rather than be at the whim of the crowd or someone who may or may not have the time to be with me. I wanted to catch up with old friends, meet people I have been emailing with for ages and have never met face to face and to make new friends.
I was able to catch up with some old friends. Some I was just able to only hug in passing but we both knew that it was due to the insanity of the weekend and not a lack of desire to spend time together. Some people that I really wanted to meet, I missed in the chaos. I hope we find time to at least stay connected online. Most surprising and wonderful was meeting people I thought I would “enjoy” but ended up absolutely adoring them. I mean, blog stalking (in a good way) adoring them.
I had deep conversations with brilliant minds. I had nonsensical conversations with tons of laughter. I had brief chats that I wish had been longer. I had long conversations that I wish would have never ended. I even got to listen to a most awesome Southern boy accent tell me not to take out my friends while driving like a maniac. (An under control maniac.) And I was able to be traumatized by the Michelin Man.
And then there was the book signing at Macy’s.
Wow. I mean, it was a surreal experience and makes me look forward to more of those and to my own book coming out. Thank you to everyone who stopped by and bought a book and got it signed. (If you didn’t and are interested, contact me.) I had a blast with the whole experience. Thank you for making it so much fun.
All of that I just mention? I will write about in more depth because I want people to know how much they touched me and for those who didn’t go, that it IS for you and YOU do belong if you can go next year.
But I need to get something off of my chest that happened. Something that slammed me against a wall. It had nothing to do with BlogHer the conference. But with one person. The shame of writing about it is so intense but I have to get it out so it doesn’t continue to eat me alive.
And then there was after Macy’s. When I met the meanest blogger of the weekend. All I can say is I am glad that her nametag was either hidden or not on because I would call her out for her rudeness. Our conversation went a bit like this:
Her: HI!! I loved meeting you. I just love your writing. Your personality is even bigger in person than online! You look like you are having so much fun! You are awesome.
Me: (blown away by such kindness) Thank you…
Her: You totally don’t look like your pictures. I didn’t expect you to be fat. You really don’t look it. I mean, you never talk about it. It really surprised me! Really. I don’t mean that in a bad way. Your face and all is so pretty.
Me: uhhhhhhhh……
Her: I hope you don’t take that wrong or anything. *giggle*
Me: uhhhhhhhhh….Yeah, I have to go meet nice people in the bar now.
Seriously? Yes. Seriously. What do you say to that? I immediately went to the comfort of my friends (hoping to find one of them who would want to kick some ass) but I never said anything because really? Who wants to repeat a conversation like that after being devastated by it? I didn’t want to relive that humiliation.
I get it. I know that between my meds, my depression and my thyroid, I have put on way more weight than I want. More than I am comfortable. I have a mirror. I get it. But to have someone say that to me. Well? It absolutely crushed me. Ironically, my biggest fear about going to BlogHer and what really almost kept me from going until 2 weeks before was my weight gain and the fear that I would be judged harshly. I was assured no one was that mean. (WRONG!) (I don’t blame you kind people who convinced me to go. I am glad I did. And who knew someone like this would be there and be so mean??) I am going to hope and pretend this woman was high or drunk.
Why would someone do that? Answer me that. Why?
And if it was you who said it, email me. Because really? I need to know why you did that.
I promise, the good stuff is coming next. I just had to get that out. The inner turmoil of it was eating me alive. I may delete this as soon as I hit publish but maybe if I put it out there, it will take away the power that awful woman has had over my mind. Let it go. Move on. Right?
Friends don’t let friends IM after midnight. Or do Wii?
June 13, 2008
I don’t sleep well at night. So sometimes I get online and find people to talk to. Some are okay with it. Some play “IM dead” and pretend they are not there rolling their eyes.
One of my favorite late night chatters is my totally awesome and completely cool roomie for BlogHer ‘07 and yes again this year for BlogHer ‘08 (cause I didn’t scare her off!) is Busy Mom. Yes, she does have a real name. She can tell you herself. The sad thing is? She has WiiNis envy. (rhymes with another phrase and is pronounced wee-nus envy.) It is happening all over the country from people who are without a Wii.
This woman is living totally old school. Like make you want to weep and donate to the cause old school. Check out how pathetically old school Busy Mom is and how she needs to step at least into the 21st century but definitely into this decade. See? Total WiiNis envy. (Or is it WiiNis Envii?)
This is one of our late night conversations. And, yes, the silly had hit but the fun stuck around.
Me: I wrote a post: “I Wii Pii’ed myself when - got my Wii Fit”
BusyMom: Hahahaha!
Busy Mom: Charge the family a Fii to use it, money problem solved
12:03 AM me: Good idea for Mii
Busy Mom: Or, you could just let it Bii
me: Drop PiiTiiA and Bii Frii
I Sii
12:04 AM Busy Mom: Hii Hii Hii
me: Gii you are funnii
Busy Mom: Tii Hii, humor is Kii
12:05 AM me: We will get you a Wii this summer. I will buy thii a Wii to play. I can Sii you are Kii to the lovah of thii Wii and will Bii Frii to send Thii a Wii
12:06 AM Busy Mom: Whoopii!!
me: Yeah I am done. Out. Finii
Busy Mom: LOL
12:07 AM me: Have wii crossed the line into crazii? Because if wii shared this, they would sii that wii are wacked crazii
Busy Mom: Li’lol Mii?
me: My brain doth exploded
12:08 AM Busy Mom: My screen is all gooii, thanks
me: Now go! Work. I need to sii about deadlines for mii also.
Busy Mom: If it were graded, I’d get a Dii
me:Bii Good!12:13 AM Busy Mom: Okii Dokii!me: Nite sweetieSweetiiSwiitiiBusy Mom: Hii, Hii, Mwah!12:14 AM Busii Mom, over and outme: Mommii needs coffii out
I do not know why some of you ignore me when I IM you late at night. That is kind of rude. Look at the fun you would have chatting.
