Blog awards? And I thought I just did this for fun. And pain. And you.
January 26, 2008
After getting a kick in the gut, knife in the back, slap to the face yesterday (bitter much?), it was really nice to have someone point me to the fact that I am actually up for a few awards at the Bloggers Choice Awards.
Now, I was more than a little sad to not be in the ranks with Liz at Mom-101 because if I am with her, I have made it, baby. But, sadly, I am not. I tried to campaign to join her, but they top off the number of categories you can be nominated in. Bummer. Honestly, any award that Liz is up for is one I would be honored to be there with her. Though, this particular nomination she writes about is a ridiculous joke. However, you have to love her sense of humor about it. She was nominated for one she deserves, though. (So go. Vote for the one she deserves here.)
To be 100% honest, the best “awards” I get for this blog are the comments, the emails and the friendships. You readers rock.
I have to say after yesterday, it was nice to get a kind email from someone who reads this blog letting me know that there are friends I have met online who are good and kind and caring, unlike some I have met and trusted who put the B in Witch.
So if you feel inclined, go vote. If not, go vote for Mom 101 HERE. That is the nomination that is real.
This is the only time you will see me talk about it or write about. I feel compelled to, though, because someone took the time to nominate me. For that, I am thankful. Again, my readers rock.
** [Edited to explain this one.] This award will be presented to the blogger who demonstrates the best writing ability on his or her blog.
Does this mean best writing about parenting because best parenting part is SO not going to be ME!
(This one makes me feel like I am being voted off the island and am getting farewell tribute. All time? Ever? Uhhh, not so much.)
(And just no to this one.)
Now remember go love on Liz here.
Posted by Jenn @
8:00 pm | |
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MY DVR Judges and Mocks Me
September 10, 2007
Now that the kids are in school and I have a manuscript due like yesterday and work piling up left and right, I decided to sit down and catch up on the programs I recorded with my DVR. (No, it is not a TiVo. I got the one that came with my satellite. And let me tell you this. This thing is snobby and not even a little bit kind in its opinions on what I record.)
As I pull up the menu of hours upon hours of shows, I decide on Big Brother 8. Oh, sure, I watch the live feeds (shut-up!) but there might have been something I missed or at the very least want to see how CBS edits the real deal. Midway through the show my DVR freezes. Then it turns itself off. When it comes back on and reboots (taking at least 5 minutes of my precious stalling time), BB8 has been erased. Not just the one I was watching, but all of them. (I know! I couldn’t believe the horror either.)
Being alone, I had no problem in freaking out on the DVR.
“What’s up with that? Why did you have to go and delete all of those shows? And just BB8? What’s your problem? You think you are too good to hold onto reality TV? Puhleez! You are just a DVR. And that was RUDE! What a poopy head!” (My Lessons in Maturity Classes begin next month.)
I think I angered it in my mild attempt at smack talk.
I scroll through the menu again. What other stored up, brain-rotting television do I have to watch? I decide to settle in and catch up on Army Wives. I liked the first few shows and haven’t watched in weeks. With less than 10 minutes to go in the show, the DVR again freezes, shuts off and then won’t reboot. It just glares at me. After chastising and berating it, it blinked on. Then off. And back on. Only to have erased every Army Wife program I had recorded.
Seriously? This is how it’s going to be played?
I get up and yank out gently remove the “smart card” and do what I do with any card/game/electronic device I own. I blow on it. (It is a proven fact that blowing on it fixes it.)
When I replace the card and the system takes, oh about 10 minutes to recover, I have gone from having 26 hours left of recording time to 70 hours. 26 to 70. You can do the math (I don’t do math after 9pm.) That means, my DVR chose (and yes I choose to believe it was a conscience choice) to delete HOURS that I had recorded of shows that I may or may not want to watch. I mean, I had Ellen on the Plane recorded. I had High School Musical I and II on there. I even had the a few Gilmore Girls on there.
So, what did my snobby, judgmental DVR leave me? Three episodes of Blues Clues (which by the way no one in this house watches anyway), four Suite Life of Zach and Cody episodes, and over a months worth or Days of Our Lives. (Oh, and about 18 different shows from the Discovery channel which will probably still be there after my DVR accidentally gets tossed into the street to be plowed down by the next speeding SUV or Mini-van to travel through this part of Stepford. Assuming something so tragic as that were to happen.)
Apparently, my DVR does not like reality TV, talk shows or Lifetime movies and/or series. It does however like shows for preschoolers, educational programming and SOAP OPERAS. (Please, like I can’t just watch one show of Days after a month of missing it and not be totally caught up. Here: DiMira’s bad. Brady’s and Horton’s good. At least one person is in the hospital who might die but probably won’t. Someone is pregnant (and in peril!). And at least one couple is having a misunderstanding that they just might not recover from. And that is without watching even though my DVR really wants me to!)
I glared at it.
It blinked back.
Such as smart ass.
Anyone want to set a girl up with a TiVo? I am betting they are a lot less temperamental and actually allow you to choose your own shows without interfering with your choice of programming. I hate my mocking, self-important DVR.
Posted by Jenn @
10:53 pm | |
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Mommy Wars? Again? Let’s make it easy! (a follow-up)
September 5, 2007
I am thrilled with the response to my last post about finally putting down our foot when it comes to the media and their Mommy Wars. From the thousands of hits, the emails, the comments, I know that I hit a nerve with many of you. It also brought up some great conversations.
Many of said, “I’m mad too, Eddie Jenn!” but then it was followed with “But what can we do?” Great question!
First, everytime you hear that gawd awful, hyped-up, ridiculous term, do something. Email the station. Write a letter. Call them out and blog them. Tell them to stop their made up crap. And, really, do you want to get them where it hurts? Change the channel! If those of us who are fed up with the media stirring up the drama begin to change the channel or turn off the television, they will get the message eventually. Many people brought up a great point. Ratings. They start the controversy in order to get us talking and get the ratings. So, if we turn them off and call them out, maybe they can stop with this idiot, made up war.
Now, I know that morning “news” shows will never be hard hitting like CNN or such. I am never expecting that or wanting that. Report the fluff. Show us the latest gadgets. Give us cooking segments. Interview authors, celebrities, or women/men making a difference. I know it could be a severe naive look, but I am SO OVER trying to pit Mom against Mom. Don’t we all have enough to do raising our children? (The answer to that is YES by the way, media.)
Jay brought up a great point:
On the other hand, you are missing one element from the “Mommy Wars.” Using one of your examples, if the SAHM that “declares” all mothers MUST stay home… you may politely disagree, however SHE may declare war on you anyway. Very similar to political blogs, mommy blogs have a tendency to both polarize people to one side or the other, but even in the cases where the wise people “stay out” or “stay neutral” those that are looking to instigate or preach still do so, and are more than happy to be at “war” with anybody that does not have an opinion that is EXACTLY like theirs.
Sadly, that is true. There are so many people who want to be in the middle of the “war” because it psyches them up. He is right on with that. However, I honestly believe there are way more of us fed up than there are those who enjoy it. It takes doing exactly the opposite of what these Mommy Wars are trying to achieve. Banding together. Standing side by side and embracing our differences. And *gasp* supporting each other. Moms supporting Moms. I know more of us want that than not. Basically, even if (using my example) another mom declares war on me and my choices, if I never pick up my own weapon, never fire back and [important point here] refuse to let her get me riled up, her shots fired will fall short of her goal. (At least that is what I want to need to believe.)
I am not naive enough to think that the media– especially the morning shows– will become all rosy and shoot sunshine up our collective asses, but I refuse to let them pull me into a war that I did not sign up for. One that I don’t even think exists. In fact, I am not going to let them try to convince me that I should be at war with other moms due to our differences.
Let me make this easy for you.
These people are fighting a war:
These people are not:
(more…)
Posted by Jenn @
9:52 pm | |
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Remember: Go away. Not towards!
August 19, 2007
I am in Houston right now.
Once you hit the outskirts you begin to see the signs. What signs? These signs:
Seriously? I mean seriously? Do we not remember the mass exodus of 2005? I have to remember the basic rule:
Go away from hurricanes. Not towards them.
Apparently, I tend to get that one wrong. A lot.
Posted by Jenn @
6:17 pm | |
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My genes are innocent. I blame it on bottled water.
August 9, 2007
I came home from BlogHer with ulcers on my corneas. Feel free to vomit in your mouth over the pain that you must be imagining. It is that awful. The first day, I had to put drops in my eyes every 15 minutes. I didn’t even pee that often when I was 9 months pregnant and I had a 9 pound baby playing soccer with my bladder. Sadly, I was able to judge this by the mid-point of every NickJr show that exists and I was forced to watch listen to.
(Sidenote: If I have to listen to Timmy Turner one more day I am going to jam that little pink hat right down his tiny little pip squeak voiced throat. And Jimmy Neutron? Thinking of putting his big over-sized head into a very tight vice and give him and atomic noogie. I’m just sayin’!)
At least the next day was up to every half hour. I could move on to the Disney Channel half hour shows. (What? For all intents and purposes, I was blind. How could I do anything more with my kids?)
After putting the antibiotic drops in my eyes for about the bajillionth dose that day, I complained about the nasty taste. My wonderful smart-ass son spoke up:
“It tastes bad? You said it tastes bad? You do know you have to put them in your EYES mom. Your. EYES. I’m pretty sure your EYES don’t have tastebuds.”
Who raised this boy? It’s not like he got that kind of smart mouth from me!
And then of course I have my tween who must’ve received that gene from his father as well. While going to put in my new Wild Hogs DVD, I began to get quite irritated with the chaos of the state of our DVDs. They are disorganized. Uncategorized. A mess. The majority of them having been ransacked by the kids. All three of them. So I began to rant about it.
“Where is my new DVD? Where? I have not even had the chance to watch it. What happened? I cannot find it anywhere in this house! Arghhhhh!”
To which my tween looks at me and calmly says:
“The one in your hand, Mom? That one? Ummm, maybe if you had put it on the shelf or say…the DVD player, it would’ve been easier to find.”
Seriously? Where did this come from. I blame their father. Those of you who know their father will most certainly agree. Those of you who do not know him, certainly will agree. It isn’t like I am a smart-ass. Right? RIGHT?!
Posted by Jenn @
8:29 pm | |
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I’m too tired for an affair in my refrigerator
July 11, 2007
I am not a great sleeper. No. I must amend that. I am not a great nighttime sleeper. I am either working and get so into it that I don’t realize it is 3:47am and I need to be in bed. Or I start playing WoW because my children (aka: little gamer pushers) begged me to do one last quest with them. As I see the sun rise, I ground them all for making me stay up all night. Because, you know, it is all their fault. I am just the tired parent.
Then there are those nights that I try to go to bed like a person not imitating a vampire and read or do something soothing. I was almost there on Monday night. Sleepy. Listening to my soothing, calm sounds on my Zune. I am just about to start making out with Mr. Sandman. Then, without warning Ozzy Osbourne sceams, “ALL ABOARD!” (The beginning of the song Crazy Train for those of you not in the know.) After soiling myself, throwing the demon possessed Zune across the room, hitting the floor to crawl under my bed, and then checking to make sure my heart was in fact still embedded in my chest, I brushed myself off and stared angrily at my bed. Forget sleepy and soothing. Even Mr. Sandman ditched my make-out attempts. I was officially awake.
I wandered into my family room where (of course) my teen was still awake. I mumbled something along the lines of, “What are you still doing awake?” but I think it came out more like, “Crazy Train. Tired. No making out with Mr. Sandman. Tired, so tired.” I attempted to read for a while then went back to bed.
The next day the teen asked me if everything was okay.
“Of course. Why?”
“You seem tired. Really tired. A lot lately.”
“A little. I wouldn’t say a lot. Why do you say there is a lot of tired? That makes it sound bad or extreme. I am fine. Why are you so all up in my grill? I need more coffee. Why are you accusing me of being so tired?”
“I found your cell phone in the refrigerator this morning.”
“What? That? The milk was expecting a call.”
Perhaps I need to look into some better bedtime and sleep routines. I cannot afford for the milk to keep up this cell phone affair.
Posted by Jenn @
9:51 pm | |
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Wii like to travel and more
July 6, 2007
I have heard that there are a lot of fans of the Wii. (Can you believe I said that with a straight face? I don’t know anyone who has played Wii without loving it. In fact, I have a whole set of pictures of a family party at the beach playing the Wii. Stay tuned for links.) I have also read the documents on how to set it up. I was shocked that there was no mention as to how to play this modern miracle of technology in the car.
Now, I know that there is a huge segment of parents who believe that the car is the best place to “communicate” with their children. Ha! When driving from Texas to Florida, I am all about the beauty of technology. And am willing to try anything. Apparently so are my children.
You see a prime example of how my children love technology enough to not care how uncomfortable it is. Now, one of the things I love about the Wii is that it gets you off of you butt and onto your feet to play. However, I also love that the game is so much fun to play that the kids insisted that we unpack it to try to play it in the car. (We took it to Florida for days like these.) So, being the “Please let me listen to my tunes and zone out while I drive this motley crue across county” type of Mom, I agreed.
Let me just share with you the love of my Wii. I heart it. I slept with it one night but Clint said no more of that. He said it was crowded sleeping with my Senseo, my laptop and my Wii. (Can you blame a girl? I love my toys!)
So for anyone who may be wondering, “Is a Wii for me?” Hell yeah, baby! I mean… certainly it should be a considered product to purchase.
—-
Now on to topics beyond technologicalizing my children. (Yes, I do love making up words. Why do you ask?) I have seen a lot of fun entries around the net. Guessing the truth or the lie. Asking me anything and I have to answer it honestly. Paying for you to comment. (Not really on that last one. You have been great! I have heard from my niece AND my coffee neighbor. Tickles me all pink and purple and a little bit of cyan.) What do you want? I mean, I will still write the babble-assing posts, but I want to know if you want to know anything. Do you?
—
Okay, so it looks like BlogHer might not happen for me. It is at least on hold for a while. After getting a severe punch to the gut financially, I am not going to buy a plane ticket until a week before BlogHer at the soonest. Anyone in DFW want to go to BlogHer and make it a road trip? Anyone between here and Chicago want to get picked up and finish the road trip? Honestly, I had questions about going, but now that I am set on it and am over the moon about friends I know that are going, I want to be there. So, honestly, if you want to road trip it, let me know. I am up for it. (At least I keep trying to tell myself that I am.) Are you?
And here, my friends is yet another pretty picture to keep you loving me and being patient while I play around with my blog.
Posted by Jenn @
7:28 pm | |
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Sticking things up your nose while enjoying the view (but not The View)
July 3, 2007
Here is a nice soothing picture to calm you while you work your busy Tuesday self to the bone. I have another entry brewing, but for now, you get images while I work on my freelance work that has a deadline of today. Must not miss deadlines. Can in fact miss the beach, though.
Meanwhile, there is a great story about sticking things into my nose over at Buzz Reviews. But remember, never stick anything up your nose unless you have been asked by Parent Bloggers Network.
Posted by Jenn @
12:46 pm | |
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I fought the chair and the chair won
July 2, 2007
While on vacation and the night was clear and beautiful, I decided to take the opportunity to enjoy the incredible stars that seemed to go on forever. The best way to see such an amazing sight was from our upper deck with (of course) a telescope. Gleefully hopping up into the bar/deck chair, I lean forward to look at the beauty of nature.
And fall ass over tea kettle.
Ironically, I didn’t even know I fell until I hit the ground with my knee. (Bless the sturdy workmen who did an excellent job on putting up the railing around the upper deck as it kept me from plummeting to my death below.)
Suddenly I am gasping in pain unable to stand up and seeing stars of a different sort. (Before you even ask, I was stone cold sober, my friends.) My older brother was immediately by my side.
“Can you get up? Are you okay?”
“No! I am so NOT okay. My knee must be broken and bleeding and I am sure that I have a concussion!” (Drama much?)
My brother helped me up and then went on with, “…Want me to throw that frickin’ telescope in the ocean. I will get that bitch to the Bahamas!” (I do so love having a big brother to take care of me. )
My knee in fact was bruised and scraped, but not broken or gushing gallons of blood. It was then that the embarrassment hit. To witness my wonderful act of grace was my nephew, my sister, my brother-in-law, my teen and of course my brother.
My nephew is three and kept chanting: “What happened to my Jennifer? What happened to my Jennifer? What happened to my Jennifer?” I wanted to reply, “That son-of-a-bitch chair and I just had a throw down and it won!” but rather replied, “I just fell down. I am okay.”
My sister just laughed. (In her defense, I would have done the same thing had it been her.)
My brother-in-law pretended not to see it as to not have to commit to laughter or sympathy until he saw whether I was going to cry or laugh.
And my teen?
He sits back in his deck chair having never gotten up in the first place and mockingly says, “Nice move there, Mom. Takes talent to fall out of a chair for no reason what. so. ever.”
There was SO a reason. Apparently, I leaned over to look out of the telescope that was BROKEN and fell right out of the chair. But he did have a point. Not my finest or most graceful moment.
So I laughed. What else is there? Then limped my graceful self downstairs for ice. After putting that in my margarita, I got some for my knee.
And that, my friends, is why they call me Grace.
I thought about showing you a picture, but they are not nearly as dramatic to look at as it is to hear about. And you know, the whole “drama” effect works for me.
Posted by Jenn @
8:33 pm | |
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I’m staying drunk!
June 26, 2007
“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” ~Ray Bradbury
Sometimes it is easy in the hubbub of the world of blogging–the politics, games and deadlines–to forget that my life, breath and very soul belong to my book right now. I truly believe that had I focused on my writing life rather than reality and the non-reality of blogging, I could have helped myself through the [quote] Post Traumatic Stress [end quote] that my therapist is getting me through. (I love using the official therapistical talk –totally a word, by the way– rather than saying, “That one time when I went all batshit crazy…”)
So I have cleared out the clutter and am full force, balls to the wall writing where my passion is. Yes, blogging, too. In short, my life and my writing are taking on a new direction. (AND and and –happy kid moment– there is a new community project underway that I am involved in which is going to be more up my alley than ever before. Go me!)
I do hope you are ready for the ride. For some, it may be new (if you are new here). For others, I do hope you are ready for the old smart ass, babble-assing Jenn of yesteryears. I mean after all, that why I love writing in the first place. To entertain and have fun. And babble-ass.
And as an aside to Buzz–who has a new blog look and is looking good, so go say hi– I am so going to plummet off of this cliff and not just plummet off of the step–because even if I could… I couldn’t. (I know that may not make sense to anyone but Buzz, but it is all in the love of words that Buzz and I met over. See? This is why Buzz and Pat became two of my favorite people online!)
That is all. Back to your coffee. Even if it is not coffee you are drinking. Do no break my heart. Just pretend to go back to your coffee.
(more…)
Posted by Jenn @
8:56 am | |
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