My blog, my friend. My blog, my enemy. MY BLOG. Period.
September 13, 2009
I have had so many things to say but have found myself in a position I swore I would never be stuck in with this blog. I find myself needing to censor myself. I mean really, when do you ever see me put an “*” in the middle of a word so it suddenly is not such a curse word after all. I mean, really? (That is my next post but this one became too long.)
I guess it started when I found more and more people in my real life reading my blog. Now, I was outed years ago by a friend who loved the blog and shared it with friends at school. That did not bother me. They commented or admitted to reading it or just flat out didn’t care. I could be myself. That is what this blog is all about. It doesn’t bother me that people I see on a daily basis read this. I have nothing to hide. Not exactly. It is just that it becomes a one way street. They are allowed into my private life and into my thoughts but I am not privy to theirs. It seems…off balance. You can know me, but I cannot know you. That doesn’t so much work for me.
Oh, but on the humorous side of this, I did have a mom from the school who emailed me a few days ago. You see– for those of you just joining us– I am the PTA president at the school of one of my kids. Now, if you have been here for a while that statement is STILL making you laugh. I get it. I do! But this email was classic.
Dear Jennifer, PTA President,
I came across your blog the other day. (It wasn’t hard to find. You might want to think about not being so visible if you are taking on such a big volunteer role. Especially when the kid is so young.) However, I found a few posts that made me wonder how you must be feeling about your words now. These posts are not very flattering to the PTA and now you stand up as their president. It seems a bit hipocritical [sic]. I wanted to know how you feel about the PTA now and if you take back what you said now that you are “the leader” of the “Stepfords”.
From,
A Mom Out To Cause Trouble
Well, in answer to your question, pretty damn good.
Here is my response:
Dear Mom Trying to Cause Trouble,
I have two policies on my blog: 1) I do not delete a post UNLESS I have directly inflicted pain on someone unintentionally and 2) I do not say anything on my blog that I would not say to someone’s face. (Oh, and let’s throw in #3: No nude pictures. Of me.)
Thank you so much for pointing out these old posts! I mean it! It really reminds me what it felt like to be treated so badly and to feel so unwelcome. Your email helps remind me I never want to make anyone who volunteers at the school feel that way. You must be very caring to ensure that I am reminded of that bad time so that I can avoid it while I am in a position that holds at least a little bit of power.
Thank you so much for your concern and caring for our volunteers!
I look forward to seeing you at school,
~Jenn
For those of you who have been here a while, you are surely aware of what she is talking about. For those of you who are new, here are links to the horrible, awful, no good posts I wrote. Including trying to fake my own death to avoid the PTA. (Again, I am not apologetic about my words. I was working with women who were the Meanie Moms of the school and they had no problem excluding, belittling and bringing volunteers to tears.)
These posts (if you look at the year they were written) are old. I still stand by them because I was treated in a manner that I hope a PTA volunteer at the school I am active in is NEVER, EVER treated. It was a horrible time in my life and a horrible way to be treated by anyone. Now? Now I know I set myself up for mocking because of these old posts. Do I care? Sure! I already feel like an outsider anyway. However, I am strong enough to take it. I know that what I went through only made me more determined to make sure anyone who wants to volunteer is not only welcome, but praised for their work. Whether it is one hour every other month or 15 hours a week. They all matter. They ALL deserve respect. I am thankful for each of them!
So, Ms. Mom Trying To Cause Trouble, take your spite elsewhere. If you want to volunteer, you are welcome to do so. If you want to try to make me look bad? Oh, honey, I do that enough on my own and really don’t need your help, thankyouverymuch.
Anyone else have stones? Feel free to hurl them. Trust me. I can take it.
RSS feed for comments on this post.
You are awesome.
That’s all I have to say about that.
Well, that and I am PTA President as well this year and pretty much for the same reasons you became one! Here’s to volunteering for positive change!
September 13th, 2009 at 5:34 PMI think that was a perfect response. Just perfect.
September 13th, 2009 at 7:08 PMAwesome. I love your response, too ~ perfectly handled.
You rock!
September 13th, 2009 at 7:16 PMYou know Jenn if I had the time to write blogs, mine would be about the same as yours. I am glad you are our President and since I will be there another 8 years, I don’t want meanie moms around either. That is why I left that other place. To bad blogs don’t pay better.
September 13th, 2009 at 7:19 PMLots of Love
I love you so much my earlobes itch.
September 13th, 2009 at 7:37 PMI felt the same way about PTA before a good friend of mine took over it year before last. It was awesome. And then everyone totally got ambushed by a bunch of Stepford bitches who ganged up on voting night and pushed us all off the board. We moved, and Em’s in a different school now - I’m on the board there, and everyone is awesome, but I was really nervous about joining. The Stepford Moms run PTAs all over the place.
September 13th, 2009 at 8:00 PMYou know what - thank you. The first couple of years I was at my sons’ last elementary school, I felt very much like an outsider around the other moms. There was nothing blatant, just a lot of ignoring. Once my younger son was out of preschool & in Kindergarten (thereby freeing up my time to devote more to the school)…well, what a change! All of a sudden, I was smiled at, talked to, you name it. I enjoyed myself a heck of a lot more, because I was actually acknowledged.
Thank you for pointing out that the people who volunteer one hour every three months are just as worthy of recognition, thanks, and a smile as the folks there all week every week.
September 13th, 2009 at 8:15 PMI’m just struck by the fact that she googled you. That seems awfully like looking for trouble…
September 13th, 2009 at 8:21 PM*clink* Cheers for a great post. And to all of your hard work-your PTA is better for it, I’m sure, and the school as a result of that. I’m guessing ‘Mom trying to cause trouble’ has issues of her own. You? I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself and your position.
September 13th, 2009 at 9:09 PMKudos for taking the lead at PTO this year!
The company I work for - VolunteerSpot - was started b.c. the founder was also frustrated with how volunteering was handled at her daughter’s school. She also got on the board and worked to make it easier for more parents to feel welcome and get involved.
With VolunteerSpot’s simple online sign up tool - PTOs and teachers are finding more parents stepping up to help - b/c it’s easier to do so - with just a click on an email.
Please check us out: http://www.VolunteerSpot.com
And your school is in great hands — have a wonderful year!
September 13th, 2009 at 11:16 PMYou go, girl! Virtual stones can’t hurt while you have readers supporting you, right?
September 14th, 2009 at 1:33 AMExcellent response. As the new PTO President at one of my son’s schools, I say ‘hear hear’! Hope you have a great year & don’t get too many naysayer e-mails.
September 14th, 2009 at 9:36 AMYou know she’s going to read that right? That is just [sic].
September 14th, 2009 at 6:21 PMOh. Shoot. I forgot my
and my ♥
September 14th, 2009 at 6:22 PMI couldn’t agree more about that awesome part. Way to go. You are one brave mama.
More and more parents at my kid’s school are asking to be my Facebook friends, and I’m a bit concerned about what they might discover.
September 15th, 2009 at 9:19 PMJen - You are my hero!
September 17th, 2009 at 8:07 AMI so admire your courage and humor in the face of bitchiness–especially because I’m a “pastor’s wife.” Though I have paid for a PTA membership, I have avoided actual involvement. I don’t need the drama, pressure or negativity. But I think I could let it roll of my back if I had your balls!
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