Why do I still blog after all these years and can I still love it?
February 27, 2009
I have a confession to make. This whole blogging thing has beaten me down lately. Can you believe I have been at this for almost 6 years? I can see how it has taken a downward slide lately. I was talking to an old friend of mine who mentioned that I just don’t update as often and he missed reading it. We talked about how it used to make him either laugh, think or just get a glimpse into my life. You know what? I miss that blog, too. I thought maybe I fell out of love with blogging and was ready to move on, but that just isn’t how I really feel. I really enjoy writing over at Parenting because I get a chance– the freedom– to do what I love to do: tell stories. Maybe the chance to make someone laugh or think. Or just laugh because thinking can be overrated.
I have been talking to friends of mine who have been at this for a few years as well and they have felt it, too. And it isn’t just burn out. I don’t think it is all about how much things have changed either. Though, that is a lot of it. Back “in the day” when some of us started blogging it was story telling and commenting and hanging out on each others’ blogs to share our lives and stories. SEO? What is the world was that? Reviews? That was just when we laughed at someone else’s stupid typos in a post. Blogging trips? That was when you went to another blogger’s home to visit. It was just different. It’s not like I am sitting in a rocking chair talking about the good old days and yelling at the new bloggers to get off of my lawn. Change happens. “Blogging just isn’t as easy as it used to be.”
I am at a turning point in this whole thing. I either remember why I love blogging and get to it or I play the game that the new wave of blogging has become or I quit. Well, let’s just say upfront that quitting is not an option for me. I love writing. I love telling stories. I love my corner of the Internet– cobwebs and all. But phoning it in and posting only because I am being told I have to by someone else who has no interest in my blog but in my pageviews or even just writing to say “Hey, look! I have a blog!” are not acceptable to me anymore. Write or get off the blog.
And then my dorkner-in-crime wrote such a brilliant post that I am going to cut it paste it right here.
No. Not really.
I am going to “steal” (see I used quotes so the word doesn’t count as real) how she modified the brilliant list of 20 Affirmations that the amazing Jennifer James wrote for Busy Mom Bloggers. Because reading them was good. But personalizing them? I am all over that. You know how we recoving addicts love the whole affirmation thing. We dig that stuff. So with credit to Jennifer for her affirmations and admiration to Liz for her idea to add her personalization and lust for Dwayne Johnson for his yummy goodness, I share my version of the 20 Affirmations for THIS mom blogger.
- I love my blog. (When I look back at some of the wonderful stories I used to tell, I am proud. I do love my blog. It is like another child…but without attitude. Mostly.)
- My job as a mom blogger is to be true to myself. (When did it become about anyone else but me? No more, my friends. Authentic me. Which may mean no makeup when I post vlogs. Sorry.)
- There are plenty of opportunities for everyone. (Remember Blog It Forward? I don’t want to save the world. I want to share it with others. If it weren’t for bloggers like Buzz, I would have stopped years ago.)
- Meeting new mom bloggers is an experience I treasure. (Like the Girl Scout song…make new friends, but keep the old…one is silver and the other gold–and a few platinum in there as well.)
- Mom blogging is a cherished gift. (Don’t believe that? Read this.)
- I am a great blogger. (If you can laugh at me, you will feel better about yourself. If I can, you can.)
- I am not afraid to challenge myself as a blogger. (Challenging myself as a blogger brought me an agent. Why stop now?)
- I have an influential voice in the blogosphere. (I have been here 6 years. If you know the term babble-assing, my job as an influencer is a success.)
- I am grateful for my blog. (Every time I get to spew my spewage.)
- I am thankful for each and every one of my readers. (Both of you that are left. You rock!)
- I am appreciative that my family supports my need to blog. (And my need to write about them. Or not.)
- Every experience I have had as a blogger has been worth it. (Every. Single. One. Even…the really bad ones that still hurt and still make me sick to my stomach.)
- I am thankful for my ability to write. (I cannot imagine NOT writing. Even if you don’t read. I will write.)
- It is gratifying to know I am chronicling my life’s journey for my children and grandchildren. (Don’t believe that? Read this.)
- My blog is my personal sanctuary. (My house. My home. My place to be me. And overshare. And stuff.)
- I will do my part to make the mom blogosphere a nurturing community. (You want link love? I am there. You want help? I am there. You want money? I am offline.)
- My blog is an extension of myself, not my whole self. (I am real when I am here. But my whole life is not chronicled here. You cannot expect that. What you will always get is my authentic self, though.)
- I will cherish every comment. ( I really, really do! I love hearing from you. You make me want to write better posts for you!)
- I love being a creator of good content. (And forgive myself for the awful stuff.)
- I am a mom blogger and I love it. (So THERE!)
And as we are so fond of ending meetings with…Keep coming back. It works if you work it!
RSS feed for comments on this post.
I struggle all the time with whether to keep going — am I chronicling something? Am I advocating something? Is this just a vanity exercise? What I do know is that I am so grateful that blogging led me to meet you and so many other fabulous women who I believe I can lean on and call friends, even though we don’t get to see each other IRL as much as I would like.
xoxo
February 27th, 2009 at 7:12 pmGreat minds think alike. Wonder if we can find some?
February 27th, 2009 at 7:54 pmThese same thoughts have been on my mind this week as well–must be something in the blogosphere.
But you’ve hit on something that I fail to articulate when I argue with myself in my head, and that’s that it’s all about the content, and what made the mom blog such a breath of fresh air was the honesty in which we wrote. So when some bloggers post disingenuosly, it sort of sucks the air out of the rest of us who now need to somehow be defensive of what we do.
That probably doesn’t make as much sense as I’d like it to or what you’ve written here, but that’s kind of it in a nutshell.
You do wonderful things here for the very reasons you started doing this years ago–congratulations and keep on keeping on.
February 27th, 2009 at 8:11 pmWhat a great post! I’ve only been blogging for a little over a year, but I SO hear you! There are so many rules out there to have a good/successful blog that it is so easy to lose yourself in it. I’ve been trying to find my way again lately. I’ve considered quitting, but like you, I love to write, and I don’t think I could give it up anymore than I can give up my right arm. I’d miss it so terribly much even though there are times it gives me stress and heartache.
You want money? I am offline. LOL! You crack me up!
February 27th, 2009 at 8:17 pmI just made room for you on my couch (doofus will get over it) c’mon over and we can…ahem…exchange spewage
February 27th, 2009 at 9:09 pmI am a mom blogger, too, and love it with a firey passion.
Great list!
February 27th, 2009 at 9:16 pm[...] Mommy Needs Coffee: I have been talking to friends of mine who have been at this for a few years as well and they have felt it, too. And it isn’t just burn out. I don’t think it is all about how much things have changed either. Though, that is a lot of it. Back “in the day” when some of us started blogging it was story telling and commenting and hanging out on each others’ blogs to share our lives and stories. SEO? What is the world was that? Reviews? That was just when we laughed at someone else’s stupid typos in a post. Blogging trips? That was when you went to another blogger’s home to visit. It was just different. It’s not like I am sitting in a rocking chair talking about the good old days and yelling at the new bloggers to get off of my lawn. Change happens. “Blogging just isn’t as easy as it used to be.” [...]
February 27th, 2009 at 9:31 pmI still very much enjoy your writing, even if it’s more sporadic of late. Mine has been suffering the same fate too, but I don’t stress. My blog is not my business or a source of income. I don’t feverishly check stats or seek out paid gigs - I just want people to get a kick out of what I write.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:58 pmThis is such a great post. I write the blog for Alice.com, but I also have a personal blog that I’ve been doing for a bit now, and it has changed. People that have been with me from the beginning notice, but I’ve changed too. And I do love blogging. Anyway, thanks for writing this!
Rebecca
February 27th, 2009 at 10:21 pm@alice
Sometimes when you bring money in from you blog it changes the way you write. It’s not a bad thing really, as long as you are still being honest with yourself and your readers. As long as you are being you and you are happy with that version of yourself, people will read.
February 28th, 2009 at 12:39 ami go back and forth all the time, but in the end I love to write too much to just walk away. when it becomes work rather than the joy of writing, connecting and meeting new people - some of whom become good friends - then it’s probably over.
If you love the other gig and this one is work, then maybe the universe is trying to tell you something?
February 28th, 2009 at 3:25 amannie: Oh, let me clarify. THIS gig here at my home on Mommy Needs Coffee is not work. Sometimes it is a struggle to keep the momentum going. But this is home. Like any home, sometimes it is just hard to always keep it company ready.
I have several paying gigs. I was using Parenting as one that I really enjoy because it give me freedom much like this blog does. I love my blog. I just need to be reminded of it sometimes.
February 28th, 2009 at 3:52 amWhen I hopped here from another blog a while back, at first I was drawn in by your name (as another mommy who neeeeds coffee.) But I keep coming back exactly for posts like this-genuine, witty, smart, funny- you!
February 28th, 2009 at 12:41 pmI’m glad you’re still here too. Girls like you and Liz and Busy Mom brought a breath of fresh air right when I needed it most. Do you have ESP?
xo
March 1st, 2009 at 10:53 pmI kind of understand, kind of. I first started blogging in 2000, when the blogging thing was new and shiny and I loved it! LOVED IT!
Six years in, it suddenly began to be a competition. A who’s-who and then it began to feel like my topics were already dictated by a blogosphere audience even though I didn’t really want to write about it.
I dropped out for two years and when I started this blog, I made a sort of vow to myself. If I want to play the new blogging game, maybe someday I will. But until then, it’s just a way to keep the milestones chronicled and a way to tell funny stories to a community I have come to enjoy.
It took me two years to be okay with it, though, and when I came back, oh my lord, blogging is a different scene. There are all sorts of fancy schmancy things going on now. So I think that means that I’ve cornered myself into just telling funny stories because really? Honestly? I’m just too lazy and too sleepy to figure out how to do this SEO stuff.
I’m glad you’re still around, though (sorry this is long-winded) and I hope that you find the best fit for you sooner than later.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:14 amWell I’m glad you have a blog, and still blog, and I hope to be able to keep reading your writing. Love the affirmations.
March 2nd, 2009 at 4:16 amI’m with you and Liz on this; read the affirmations as well and would have blogged about it - but didn’t have the energy
I don’t know about you - but I will continue to write my blog, and if it’s just for my own satisfaction (because no one reads it any longer), so be it. I cannot write to SEO specifications and be true to my style. So be it.
I do hope you keep your presence here. You guys have always been one of my inspirations.
March 2nd, 2009 at 9:03 pmI think I need coffee. No, not now; or i won’t sleep tonight. But just from reading you again, I am reminded that I could have easily named Compost Happens something coffee-like — if the brilliant Jenn hadn’t gotten there first!
March 3rd, 2009 at 1:53 amYeah, I hear ya. I started on Blogger in 2003, can you believe it? I’m going through a reevaluation, too. I love my place, but right now I’m suffering from a lack of direction. What do I want it to be… for ME?
I have made some great friends through blogging and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Big hugs to you, doll. I will always be a fan of your writing, no matter how long between posts. I hope to smoosh you in person this summer in Chicago.
March 4th, 2009 at 3:21 amI just read your post at Parenting! Dust bunnies and teens? I hear you! I chase out the dust bunnies pretty early; don’t want them partying with our real pet rabbits.
March 5th, 2009 at 1:59 amWow, 6 years! I just found blogging about a year ago, and fell in love with it. Combining the therapeutic effect of journaling with the social aspect you get from bulletin boards? Brilliant! Sure, it may be a simplistic way to view it, but that’s what first attracted me to it.
The list above captures blogging well - I think the only way one can keep blogging for such a long time is to stick to it. People seem to focus a lot on ads, SEO and all that, and why I understand why, I believe that steals the focus from what I feel is really great about blogs: a place where you can be true to yourself and have the chance to make new, amazing friends and build your own network - of friends, not necessarily of ad and PR people
March 9th, 2009 at 1:28 pmi’m going on two years of blogging. and in that short time…it’s changed. and i’ve been struggling with my blog. and obsessing over stats. and comments. and AARGH!!! i’m over it. i’m trying to get back into my mind set that i had, back when i first started blogging. when i didn’t know about stats and comments. and all i knew was telling the story of my life. in my voice.
and i LOVE writing. my new-ish blog doesn’t have the readership that my old blog had. trying to get over that, too.
March 13th, 2009 at 9:32 pmi love my blog. i loved my old blog that is no longer with us
it seems like many of us around the blogosphere are reassessing the true meaning of our blogs and why it is we are blogging!
anyway…here through alltop. nice to meet you. and i’m putting you in my reader so…don’t stop blogging, k!
What a thoughtful post. I appreciate your candor and insight–thanks for sharing it with the rest of us muddling through to-blog-or-not-to-blog.
March 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pmNot sure if you remember me…but I started blogging about the same time you did…cept my old blog addy(which is still there) is tamra747.blogspot.com
April 5th, 2009 at 12:15 pmThen I started a job and a co-worker found it somehow,and I flipped and decided to close it and re-open another…minus all the secrets that corporate didn’t need to know about.lol
THAT really burned my hiney though,cuz I have used my blog since 2000,to basically do several things.
To get things off my chest,and sometimes get the best feedback that was sometimes a life saver for me.
To make new friends from all over the world.
and well….you pretty much said it all in your post and the post that you said you “stole”LOL….since I no longer work for that company I re-opened it,I guess cuz I figure what the “hey”!! I have nothing to hide anymore.Yes,I’ve been to prison,yes I was a stripper,yes I admit I wish I were a better parent…..but all that is my past…it’s ugly at times and embarrassing,but like the cliche’ you hear alot “it’s all helped me be the strong individual I am today”.Well,that’s so true.I say if God can forgive me for my past indescretions,than maybe others’ can do the same(i.e. family and friends especially).
My 2 beautiful daughters’ have turned out amazing and don’t make me eat dirt for those days I wasn’t there for them.So I figure sometimes maybe when someone reads where I came from and where I’m at NOW,then maybe it could help someone to NOT go down that same bumpy road I went down.So I blog away,just like I’ve done all my life,accept before blogging,I did what a therapist told me to do,and I journaled or as a child I had those cute little diaries w/ lil locks on them.I KNOW that had it not been for writing in my journal for nearly 5 years in prison,I would have probably not got through it all.It was my way of releasing all the pent up anger and pain,and guilt I had bottled up like a pressure cooker about to blow.
I do the same now w/ my blog.Also,I like to go and read blogs like yours to see how others’ live their lives,as I’ve spent the majority of mine not living it the way I should have,so alot of times I actually learn from others’ just HOW to be a better mom and grandma.I grew up in group homes,foster care,and girls homes…so sometimes I feel like I never really learned the right way to do things or even handle situations the way I should,so it’s really nice to read how other people do things.
Ok–so this is turning into a book…so I’ll hush..your post really sums it ALL up.Just thought I’d add my thoughts as well….so thank you for this post,hun,and thanks for letting me ramble.
*huggggggs*
I was swindled on ebay by some jerkwad using a cell phone line. Mofo was speechless when I got her name and address and paid a visit lol!
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