MY DVR Judges and Mocks Me
September 10, 2007
Now that the kids are in school and I have a manuscript due like yesterday and work piling up left and right, I decided to sit down and catch up on the programs I recorded with my DVR. (No, it is not a TiVo. I got the one that came with my satellite. And let me tell you this. This thing is snobby and not even a little bit kind in its opinions on what I record.)
As I pull up the menu of hours upon hours of shows, I decide on Big Brother 8. Oh, sure, I watch the live feeds (shut-up!) but there might have been something I missed or at the very least want to see how CBS edits the real deal. Midway through the show my DVR freezes. Then it turns itself off. When it comes back on and reboots (taking at least 5 minutes of my precious stalling time), BB8 has been erased. Not just the one I was watching, but all of them. (I know! I couldn’t believe the horror either.)
Being alone, I had no problem in freaking out on the DVR.
“What’s up with that? Why did you have to go and delete all of those shows? And just BB8? What’s your problem? You think you are too good to hold onto reality TV? Puhleez! You are just a DVR. And that was RUDE! What a poopy head!” (My Lessons in Maturity Classes begin next month.)
I think I angered it in my mild attempt at smack talk.
I scroll through the menu again. What other stored up, brain-rotting television do I have to watch? I decide to settle in and catch up on Army Wives. I liked the first few shows and haven’t watched in weeks. With less than 10 minutes to go in the show, the DVR again freezes, shuts off and then won’t reboot. It just glares at me. After chastising and berating it, it blinked on. Then off. And back on. Only to have erased every Army Wife program I had recorded.
Seriously? This is how it’s going to be played?
I get up and yank out gently remove the “smart card” and do what I do with any card/game/electronic device I own. I blow on it. (It is a proven fact that blowing on it fixes it.)
When I replace the card and the system takes, oh about 10 minutes to recover, I have gone from having 26 hours left of recording time to 70 hours. 26 to 70. You can do the math (I don’t do math after 9pm.) That means, my DVR chose (and yes I choose to believe it was a conscience choice) to delete HOURS that I had recorded of shows that I may or may not want to watch. I mean, I had Ellen on the Plane recorded. I had High School Musical I and II on there. I even had the a few Gilmore Girls on there.
So, what did my snobby, judgmental DVR leave me? Three episodes of Blues Clues (which by the way no one in this house watches anyway), four Suite Life of Zach and Cody episodes, and over a months worth or Days of Our Lives. (Oh, and about 18 different shows from the Discovery channel which will probably still be there after my DVR accidentally gets tossed into the street to be plowed down by the next speeding SUV or Mini-van to travel through this part of Stepford. Assuming something so tragic as that were to happen.)
Apparently, my DVR does not like reality TV, talk shows or Lifetime movies and/or series. It does however like shows for preschoolers, educational programming and SOAP OPERAS. (Please, like I can’t just watch one show of Days after a month of missing it and not be totally caught up. Here: DiMira’s bad. Brady’s and Horton’s good. At least one person is in the hospital who might die but probably won’t. Someone is pregnant (and in peril!). And at least one couple is having a misunderstanding that they just might not recover from. And that is without watching even though my DVR really wants me to!)
I glared at it.
It blinked back.
Such as smart ass.
Anyone want to set a girl up with a TiVo? I am betting they are a lot less temperamental and actually allow you to choose your own shows without interfering with your choice of programming. I hate my mocking, self-important DVR.
Posted by Jenn @ 10:53 pm
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TiVo is the best invention since television. I heart my TiVo!!!!! It always has crap for me to watch like BB8, The Pickup Artist, The View, Oprah, The Hills, Fabulous Life of…
September 10th, 2007 at 11:52 pmAhh… TiVo… I love you so.
http://awholelotofnothing.net
I don’t have either of those. Um, do I need them? I tape my soap on my good old VCR that is programmed to record it every weekday. That makes me happy.
September 11th, 2007 at 12:57 amI think I’m afraid of the other stuff - I don’t want a machine that seems to actually think. Especially when it seems to think evil thoughts. Hmmmm.
All we have for recording shows is a VCR, and don’t use that. I’ve thought of TiVo, but since we don’t use the VCR, I wonder if we’d use the TiVo.
Cas.
September 11th, 2007 at 5:45 amI have a DVR also and we subscribe to Dish Network. Are you dish or Direct TV? We actually have had so much trouble with the darn thing that we had to return the receiver for a brand new one. You know what that meant? No tv for like a week. Luckily it was in the summer when there were only repeats to be had but still, it was a bit scary.
September 11th, 2007 at 12:28 pmI selected DirecTV over other options because I got an integrated Tivo in the deal. There was no way I was going with the junk copies (usually made by Scientific Atlanta I believe). And this is just proof that I made the right choice. (My condolences by the way… lest I appear crass).
I have read several Tech Magazine articles where they have been claiming that the other devices are “just about” as good as Tivo. I think not.
September 12th, 2007 at 1:59 pmMy sister went from TiVo to DVR and hates her DVR. I think hers mocks her, too.
Too funny that all the shows that did save are mostly crap or no longer watched!
September 18th, 2007 at 8:22 am