BlogHer–the Beginning of my corruption
August 3, 2007
Okay, so I never did a real BlogHer wrap up and though I know many of you are tired of it, I am doing one anyway.
First: Hi! I’m Jenn and I am from Texas. (No need to apologize for that Elizabeth Edwards. I am proud of my state.) That being said (since it wasn’t in a video and I was not given a chance to say it outloud, I am glad to have that out of my system), let’s move along.
I have to be honest when I say I almost did not go to BlogHer this year. After a lot of stuff happened between last October and this July, I just wasn’t sure. However, at the gentle request of some friends (and when I say gentle request of course I mean they threatened me with bodily harm if I did not go), I decided on Monday that I would in fact go and was on a plane by Wednesday. I am luckily one of the few that did not have airline troubles…on my way there.
Having arrived after 10:00pm at the ever so chic and hip W, I realized they are PEPSI people. This girl here is a Diet Coke gal. So I frantically rushed the front desk begging them to lead me to a Diet Coke. They told me I could pay about $100 at the bar or walk down two blocks to a 7-11.
I just stared at her. Two blocks? Like city blocks? In a big city? After a few moments of what must have looked like small town terror, the nice one (there was a nasty one there, too) reached out and touched my arm stating, “I am from Indiana and it is totally NOT scary. Just go!” *whew* I would not be killed to get a Diet Coke. (Of course when I saw an elderly couple walking ahead of me on the sidewalk, I got right up behind them–as in could smell his Old Spice cologne– and walked “with” them. Hey, I was tired and in a new city past dark. And remember, I AM from Texas (no apology needed).
Having stocked up on my DC, I eagerly went to crash in my room. But there was this THING that, personally, freaked me the hell out. A black fuzzy (and I am assuming hip and trendy) fuzzy cube staring at me. I think it mocked my accent. I decided to give that bed to Busy Mom the next day. No cube is going to take me out in the middle of the night.
As soon as I got cozy in my bed in my pj’s, Jenny called and told me to come up and dish in her room. Not being of the hip and trendy W crowd (Texas girl…no apology necessary), I just threw on my pink Croc flip-flops (Susan said it was totally okay since I was in my pajamas and that is about all they are good for) and raced to elevator where I encountered a man who was hip and trendy and all W-ish. He looked at me. I looked at him. Then in a conspiratorial whisper said, “Panty raid on the 20th floor, dude.” He was a bit horrified and probably a tad scared of me. Croc flops do that to a person. Anyway, I crashed Jenny’s room where we dished and ate $100 Snickers bars from the “honor” bar. That would be one of the few quiet moments of the weekend.
After returning to my room I pulled down the shade. You know the ones to darken the room? Yeah, but see then there came this gawd awful noise outside. Like someone dragging an 18-wheeler up the side of the building. In my attempt to check it out, the shade fell on my head. Fell. On. My. Head. But only half of it and not the bar itself, just the shade part.
I begin to literally dance around in panic. “Oh crap! Oh crap! I broke The W!” After climbing on the chair and wrestling with the son-of-a-bitch for about an hour, I finally got it rolled back up. Dirty and sweaty and in need of a chemical spray down, I was officially exhausted. And it was 3:00am. The noise was just thunder. All that for THUNDER? That is like a normal sound in Tornado Alley here in Texas (no apology needed), but it sounded…different.
The next morning arrived with glee and joy. Oh wait, I mean exhaustion and exhaustion, but I was so excited to meet my roommate and get this party started I immediately threw on clothes to go in search of real coffee. In my glasses-less state, I totally looked right at Chris Jordan and kept walking. Totally NOT a snub. Just blind and coffee-less. (Love you, Chris!) It wasn’t until I was showered, had my coffee fix and could see again that I joined the lovely ranks of the BlogHers that had arrived already. The day was a blur of going here and there and meeting and greeting amazing women. (I will link, but I am just so brain fried, not right now.) I had lovely conversations at the cocktails parties BlogHer provided and met women I have only hoped of meeting in person and acted like a total stalker. I am okay with that, too. Sorry to any I scared.
I do remember the RANK ass smell in my room, though. Personally, I thought Lindsay had stomach issues after using our bathroom. What can you do when you have a bathroom with shutters and a barn door?
And then we had the Whiskey Bar. Oh, the Whiskey Bar. (Photo courtesy of mammK Kimberly who lifted it from someone else.) That is a post in and of itself. Let the pictures do the talking. I got an impromptu tattoo and hung out with fun people and screamed so much to be heard of the hip and trendy music that I lost my voice.
It wasn’t until I got back to the room around 2:00am or so that I found out why our room smelled like dead man’s ass and then the game was on. Oh, it was SO on!
In my next post I will talk about the actual sessions. (I am pretty sure that was the purpose of this conference.) The Lisa Ling experience. Getting lost on the Miracle Mile. And having my roommate sing me awake to the Sound of Music. Meeting Jen Lancaster live and in person and slipping my hotel key to her husband. Having amazing conversations with other authors who gave me great advice and support. (Wendy and Ariel and even Amy Sedaris.) And I came home with new jobs. Rock it!
Will you care if I write more of a wrap up later? Because I want to. I really do!
For now, I have to go do my “real” work and make those big bucks!
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Reading all these posts make me realize it was a bad, bad decision not to attend BlogHer. Boo.
Also, it’s the Magnificent Mile. We’re pretty particular about it. Since it is quite Magnificent.
August 3rd, 2007 at 4:11 PMUmmm…what was that fuzzy cube thing?
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:44 PMTexas? Where? Hook’em horns?
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:06 PMI am a Texas gal too (no apology needed) and I never can understand why the Yanks are so devoted to Pepsi products. I, myself, am a diet coke (aka nectar of the Gods) girl. I visited my best friend in West Virginia a few months ago and could not find a diet coke anywhere!
That being said, Chicago is one of my favorite cities, ever!
Found you via the Blogger Chicks blogroll.
August 3rd, 2007 at 10:34 PMCan’t wait for more updates on Blogher. Plus L.O.V.E. the new look of the site!
August 4th, 2007 at 12:41 AMI dropped the Momma/Mamm shit…please!!! And that’s not my picture. I lifted it from another blogger but felt justified since I’m in it.
It was great meeting you and, again, sorry for the cheese
August 4th, 2007 at 8:40 AMYes, here in Texas “W people” means something completely different, doesn’t it?
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one lamenting the absence of Coca-Cola products.
August 4th, 2007 at 9:40 AMCrisanne: I think that was supposed to be a hip and trendy pillow. That or Satan. When it didn’t mock me from the corner, I wanted to paint white dots on it and play reverse dice and shoot craps down the hallway.
August 4th, 2007 at 3:38 PMKimberly, consider the mamma shit dropped. My bad. You were a blast to hang out with. Can I call you CoolK?
August 4th, 2007 at 3:38 PMKristabella: Definitely worth it to go and meet and greet new and old friends. Make plans now!
August 4th, 2007 at 3:40 PMJeana: No Diet Coke is like, “Sorry, we have no oxygen here. We are not oxygen people.” I nearly lost it. But the 7-11 loved me!
August 4th, 2007 at 3:41 PMAng: Thanks for the compliment on the new look. Karen at Swank did it. She is wonderful and taking a vague idea and making it just what you want.
August 4th, 2007 at 3:41 PMHeather, thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment! You are preaching to the choir about Diet Coke being the nectar of the gods. Would have had a bad weekend had the 7-11 and the Starbucks not been so close to the hotel and each other. Made it all better.
August 4th, 2007 at 3:43 PMOh sure…no glasses
I thought you were just in a rush to get coffee. Love ya too.
August 4th, 2007 at 8:43 PMThe furry pillow was the first BlogHer picture I took! Hee!
August 4th, 2007 at 10:11 PMCheese and ass. Nice.
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