I would never shout shut up to them (where they can hear me)
September 27, 2004
So, seriously, has anyone’s head actually exploded from too much whining by children? Seriously. I am just wondering if I should call Ripley or the Guiness Book of World Records to record the moment for all of eternity because I swear by all that is not making me insane THESE KIDS ARE GOING TO MAKE MY HEAD EXPLODE! 3-2-1 KABLOOM!
I have a tolerance level when it comes to the kids. I can handle way more than the average NOT INSANE person; however, today, they are determined to watch my head spin around in circles while I start chanting something that could only come from the Unholy Book of Mother Spells to Make Her Children Shut Up! In fact, I am pretty sure I just grounded the mailman for ringing my doorbell too loudly. (Not my fault. I thought it was the bell indicated the end of round 12 between me and my children. Imagine my dismay to learn it was just the MAILMAN and not a Knight in Shining Armor coming to- no, not take me- but to sedate my children.)
To top of this Big Day of Fun, I not only get to go to a soccer practice and sweat buckets of perspiration, I also get to then follow it up with a soccer game for my other son immediately following. Oh the joys! Normally, I would not blink an eye at back to back soccer. It is what we do. But on a day where I resort to hiding in the closet for just a moment of peace, I don’t think going to a place where there are nothing but loud, unruly children is the best medicine.
Oh, and dinner? I’m not really sure when that will occur seeing as they are not to eat before a practice or a game. That leaves about 4.3 minutes to feed a family of five. I am guessing that I won’t get that accomplished. Is it wrong to feed them cereal for dinner “whenever” they can get the time? If so, keep it to yourself. If not, remind me over and over that they won’t be scarred for life for having Fruit Loops for dinner while mommy sucks down her Xanax shake while hiding in the closet. (Actually, I am just kidding about that. We are all out of Fruit Loops!)
Is it time for bed yet? For the love of all that is calm, quiet and not fighting with it’s brother, can someone please share the secret to living a calm life with THREE VERY LOUD CHILDREN??
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