Nothing to say…in a lot of words

November 1, 2003

I just typed a really long post and it is gone.

Ohhhhh that ticks me off.

It isn’t like I have been writing all evening or anything.

Oh wait. Yes, I have. I’m sorry, but I just don’t have it in me right now to type it all out again. Besides, it was just ramblings anyway. You didn’t want to hear it me go on and on about kids and candy and bedtimes, right?

As for other things, I have been working on my Nanowrimo writing. Talk about having trouble getting started! It was that first freaking sentence that got me stuck. I couldn’t find the right one. You know the one? The one that makes you want to read the second and third and so on? Yeah, that one was a booger!

After I feel more into it and get to know the characters better, I will post some if you want to read it. I may make it a password thing. Not that I have anything incredible to say or hide, but I am just THAT insecure about this whole “can I really write a novel?” thing.

I guess that is the funny thing about dreams. When you face it head on and decide to go for it, it can really become more personal to you than to anyone else. Beyond another person’s comprehension.

Is there something you have always wanted to do? Something you dreamed of doing forever? Something that literally makes your heart beat a bit faster, your mind start racing and you just can’t help but smile to yourself at the very thought of actually doing this? Is there something that you want so badly you can almost taste it?

That’s me and writing a novel.

And sometimes, when you face the first step of starting on something that has become so big in your mind, it can scare you into paralysis. That has been me. The whole idea of “What if I can’t?” “What if it is terrible and everyone (including me) hates it?” “What if my dream turns out to be a nightmare, then what do I dream about?”

So, if I do go to a password site just to post the novel I am working on, it is only because I want to know who I am letting in on my dream. I wouldn’t ever turn anyone away. It’s just that I would feel strange knowing that I have no idea who is reading what I have to say. I don’t even know if that makes sense. Who knows? Maybe once I get into things, I may want anyone and everyone to share it. We’ll see.

So, I am off to write some more. I am having fun getting to know my characters. I look forward to seeing what happens to them.

Hey, look….it looks like I had something to say afterall! Whadda ya know?

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Posted by Jenn @ 9:54 pm

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