Mr Joe Telemarketer…

August 18, 2003

This is a real phone conversation I had last night. *Names have been changed to
protect the annoying. Riinnnnnggg (Don’t you just love it when someone adds the
“ring” part into this? As if you would just jump up and answer the phone if it
wasn’t ringing?) “Hello?” “Hi, Mrs. Average American Home Owner, this is Joe
Telemarketer. I would love to talk to you about the benefits of refinancing your
home at this time when rates are at an historic all time low.” “Ummm,
Mrs. Home Owner? Are you there?” “Well, I think the real question is: Are any of
us really here? What if we are all just figments of each other’s imagination.
What if none of us are really here?” “Ummm, okay. Well,
we here at
We-Will-Never-Get-Your-Business-Because-We-Are-Bothering-You-At-Home-On-The-Weekend
Mortgage Company would like to offer you a chance to refinance with us. Would
you like to save money on your monthly payments with a lower finace rate?” “But
Joe, if you are a figment of my imagination, wouldn’t that question be
irrelevant?” “Ummm, okay, thanks for your time.” click Either I will
never hear from them again, or I will be getting triple the calls so that
everyone can talk to the infamous crazy lady that thinks none of us exist.

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